The only Woman You Cannot Handle

We all grow stronger over time. We learn to deal with people and stay away from those we feel difficult to talk to. However, there are some people whom we can’t avoid.

 

Woman: Do you want to eat this?

You: No.

Woman: Do you want to eat this?

You: No, don’t want.

(a while later)

Woman: This is good. Do you want to eat this?

You: No.

(a while later, the food is presented in front of you)

How are you going to react?

Option 1:

You: I don’t want to eat.

Woman: Waste my effort!

(next day, same thing happens again)

Option 2:

You (slightly higher tone): I have already told you I don’t want to eat.

Woman: Don’t want to eat then don’t want to eat lor! Don’t want to eat then say la. Waste my effort! 好心被雷劈!好心没好报! … blah blah.

(next day)

Entire world, including dogs and cats (individually): What are you so rude?

(one week later, same thing happens again)

Option 3:

(you eat it, regardless of the taste, time of the day and how full you are)

(next day, same thing happens again)

 

In life, sometimes we really don’t have a good choice when making decision. Not everyone who tries to treat you nice will be doing you good always.

Spread the Love – April 2015

My mum had an advanced birthday celebration for her 60th. My younger brother did most of the preparation work after we went to the cafe for scouting. If it was not for him, I would probably be further stressed.

Needless to say, we had many great friends who were very generous. They not only shared the cost of buying an iPad Mini for my mum, but some also gave her ang bao. I was not very sure exactly who had chipped in for the present though. Although to me, the iPad mini was a waste of money since my mum already had an iPad 2, which had bigger screen. The desire for this new gadget was simply due to peer influence. I did not even have a tablet to present my work to potential clients.

Lurvelle was one of my models who had tried to help me the most. She did help to promote my photography and also recommend clients to me, even though I thought they were not so potential. All the bees were just trying to get in the good book of this hot girl.

Sharon Koh arranged a meet-up with my younger brother and I to give us a treat. We roped in fatmama in order not to leave her home alone on a Friday Evening. Somehow, she insisted she got a good job because of the testimonial we gave her for helping with Smart Tuition. It was very detailed and honest piece, written with “feel”, unlike the usual boring templates. We were actually not so sure about its efficient but I was sure potential good bosses would enjoy reading it. Anyway, since she knew it was my mum’s actual birthday for the next day, she ordered a bouquet and balloon to be delivered to my house on the next day. She was one of the most detailed and kindest lady I had ever met.

Gilbert, my long time best buddy, got his car as demanded by his company since he was doing sales job. He started to arrange outing and also helped me to go through my website.

Spread the Love – March 2015

Yaozhong introduced me an assignment at NUS, which I actually regretted taking up after I realised the schedule was ridiculous. The first shoot was in the early morning and the last shoot was in the late afternoon. The three consecutive days of such two-hour assignments almost tore me apart. Other than having to wake up in the early morning, I was super unproductive in between. Since I had promised the team, it was difficult for me to back out. Of course, both Yaozhong and Daniel hosted me well. Throughout the shoots, Yaozhong accompanied me to help out and also entertained me during the long idling hours. I was very glad to be able to work with my polytechnic day’s best buddy.

Mandy and Sharon organised a photoshoot and roped me in. The Yeo sisters were as nice as previously when we worked with Lynn. Mandy insisted to give me a treat and I failed to reject her during supper.

Spread the Love – February 2015

Weitat had always played a role more than good friend. I tried not to repeat the same type of kindness too often but he was making me feel guilty. On the first day of February 2015, we had our usual Sunday beach volleyball game. Instead of going to nearby places like Vivocity or even Queensway for dinner, we went to Jurong West for Mookata. After that, he sent me home from the West to Central even though he was staying in Clementi. I guessed everyone was already tired after the volleyball game and he was going to be more exhausted since he needed to drive.

On the last day of February, we had a gathering with Mingfa at West Coast Plaza. After that, we went to Sunsetway for desert. Weitat planned to send Jingjie home so that Jingjie could pick his car up to send Gin home to Bukit Gombak and Weitat would send me home after that. On the way, my brain was exploding for I thought I could never repay him for his kindness, although he never expected anything in return. He had no obligation to be so nice. While we were on the way, Gin “saved” me by speaking up for Weitat to just drop both of us at Clementi MRT instead of troubling both Weitat and Jingjie. It was quite overboard to make the two drivers to send us home from their “home” when we were so near the MRT station, which was still in operation.

Although I really hate travelling on the “world class” public transport, I should not have my comfort and convenience at his tiredness. Although the “affordable” and “cheap” public transport fee is ridiculous, I’m sure Weitat’s petrol fee would cost more for the double distance (to and fro). Although Singapore is such a fine country, there are sure body odor on the train. Although Singapore’s education system is known (from mainstream news) to be excellent, probably half of the people (talents) have not gone through the same school system to be gracious inside the train. I really hate taking public transport.

My gang of volleyball friends have endlessly demonstrated kindness. Drivers like Mingfa, Wilson, Tze Khit, Jingkun, Kachua and Weitat have been teaching me how good it would be to send friends home. Of course, Weitat is the extreme of all the car owners as he can make extreme detouring to give me the convenience even when public transport is still in operation. I would like to be nice and be appreciated but having a car is never for poor and average people.

Among all my models, Alessandra Wong was the first to “date” me out. It was a coffee chill up when she was near my place and followed by a street photography session for Thaipusam. If it was not her, I would not have forced myself to get up so early to capture the Thaipusam photos. Besides, I was not the kind of person who would go out alone. That was also the period of time when I kept wondering how many models were really treating me as friend instead of just using me to get them quality photos.

I troubled auntie Chwee Lian again for a photoshoot for Vanessa and Jiamin because we planned to do it at the Skybridge of Pinnacle@Duxton. Therefore, I went to borrow the access cards from her. Eventually, Vanessa was sick and thus the shoot was called off. When I went over to return the three access cards, I rang her up instead of just slipping the cards under the door. It was a good intention to meet her up to thank her personally but she was actually having her nap at around 6 plus in the evening. Needless to say, she did not get pissed off.

During Chinese New Year, My uncle and his wife invited the entire Chan family over for reunion dinner as usual. They were never stingy with all the food, drinks and snacks. The effort to organise and then clean up the mess was the key thing. I was speechless over what they had done.

She’s not Interested in having Relationship at the Moment

Whenever someone tells you he or she is not interested in having relationship at the moment, you have to understand that this actually means you are not in his or her league.

Give up.

As lousy as it sounds like a common lie to brush you off, the person is, in fact, trying to sound nice to you while rejecting you. Of course, this excuse is usually used by girls. To give them the benefits of doubt, you can assume that their brains have lied to them instead.

No man is an island and few people will choose to be stay single.

In reality, once a girl has found her eye candy, she will never remember what she has told you – not interested in any relationship. It does not matter when is the last breakup date since duration to heal does not matter at all. In fact, getting into a new relationship is one of the best way to heal.

Most of the time, no matter how decent and sincere you are, and how hard you try, a girl who does not take a fancy in you in the first place will never fall for you months later. Cases of success attempts are rare and you probably should not pin any hope while wasting your time and tears. On the other hand, retaining your dignity may increase the chance for you.

You can be a gem in another person’s eyes. Let the person who truly deserves your love be the fortunate one.

Unsung Heroes

When you boast and degrade others over your contributions, you causally overlook how bits and pieces of shit are being picked up by them.

No one man can do everything while not everyone wants the limelight. Always remember the fact that no one is indispensable. Without you, life may or may not be as good, but it will still go on.

Before you sit back and walk through the past carefully, you never know you may be the cause of several major problems. Nobody is pointing fingers at you because everyone recognizes your effort and good intentions.

The next time when you try to belittle others in your team, open your eyes wide and explore how they have been doing their part to ease your life. Do not play the blaming game because it can hurt much more than what you expect.

This post is dedicated to all the unsung heroes.

03 February 2015

Spread the Love – January 2015

My buddy Gilbert proudly appeared in my monthly hero list again. As both of us got busier especially after I began with professional photography, it was not easy for us to meet up. He always took the effort to arrange outings with me still. I did not ask him but the meet-up for January for a “swim” was probably towards building up my health after he knew I had been sick for months. He came all the way down to my “territory” and took the trouble to push me to do a little gym work before the swim.

I posted many emotional statuses in social media but it did not necessary mean that I was always upset. Sometimes, I was just speaking up for others who were affected. Justine was one of the few friends who would text me to check me out whenever she thought I was down. She was an extremely straightforward person who could get annoyed easily, however, she seemed to be specially tolerating towards me. I was very touched.

I had helped numerous girls with photoshoot. Apart from those who were my real-life friends to begin with, none of the models had made time to chill up with me after our shoots. I had been sending models the final photos via online, unlike some “photographers” who would insist to pass them a CD during their meet-ups – I had no intention to force them to meet up with me. I appreciated friendship a lot and I was very sure most or almost all of the models felt very appreciated when they were out with me due to the respect I had given to them. Alessandra was, by far, the first and only model who had called upon me when she was near my place to chill up over coffee.

After I got myself another set of colour gels for my speedlites, I got my mum to make another band for wrapping them onto the speedlites. She got a black rubber for me this time and made two.

ET organised a gathering to celebrate Charmaine’s good ‘O’ level grades. Her parents, George and Tricia, prepared all the food even though we had insisted to split the cost. However, they took time and effort to buy and cook and heat up the dishes. When George was going for his midnight shift work, he offered to give us a lift since he was travelling from the East to West. Of course, the night was too early for us to leave. Eventually, the good thoughts and efforts of all of them were very appreciated.

Year 2014 – Professional Photography Journey Began

Smart Tuition
The tuition agency business was somehow as stagnant as before. I did not have the time and energy to “expand” it. The lack of credible and suitable coordinators was the main problem. There were quite a number of people emailing us to take up the job but we did not want to take any risk as we really wanted to help clients and tutors to our best ability and not treating it like a business. It was thanks to the existing team, especially Tricia and ET, that the business was able to sustain. We continued to meet weird people along the way and I got more and more weary of dealing with ridiculous and cunning people as well.

Photography
I took my photography to the next level by upgrading to a full frame camera. More people started approaching me and I began to take up event shoot instead of just sticking to portrait shoots. It was a tiring journey. I got to meet more people both online and offline. I was very excited to interact with all the good people in real person. However, just as there were many kind people in this world, I had encountered many eat-full-nothing-to-do people. It was irritating enough for “shoppers” to enquire for the fees when I had already stated the minimal amount on the website, but there were also many who were worse. I had entertained many people who had shown so much interest in engaging my help. We chatted for long time and I gave them advices but they eventually decided to waste my time.

Family
Things were pretty much the same as previous years, except that we were all more enthusiastic towards the arrival of my elder brother’s new BTO flat, which should be ready by end of year 2015 or beginning of 2016. By then, our current flat would be more “spacious” and there would be less conflicts. My house might still be very messy since it was my mum’s characteristic to keep everything. However, there might be a change in her attitude when we had an “extra room” while my elder brother would not help to mess up the living room again. Eventually, there would be a big problem for the family as my elder brother was a handy man. Apart from that, my mum continued to put stress to me, while I worked from home, by creating

Health
I had my right arm and wrist injured for a long period of time. The arm was due to volleyball games while wrist was because of holding to the heavy camera on a single hand for long duration. I fell sick twice for a long period of time too, taking panadol tablets more than I had ever taken in my entire life. My health was badly affected by my neighbours’ puppy who barked loudly every morning. My neighbours were helpless over the aggressive dog who was trying to destroy their main door.

Volleyball
My gang was quite active for beach volleyball games until towards the end of the year. Everyone was very busy, especially for those who were doing shift jobs. We finally had an indoor court game because of Jingkun’s request before his marriage. That was the first time I played on an indoor hard court after years.

Friendship
I felt I was disconnected with most of my friends. The struggle for work and photography had massacred every single thought to catch up with my old friends. I had no time to think of giving away presents or whatsoever. In the last three months of the year, I had to attend six wedding though and I had to be the “brother” for two of them. Photography did help me gain many new friends but not many kept in touch with me, most probably because the models were mainly into getting good photos. At least, they knew my character and felt safe to be with me.

Love
Boy-girl-relationship was a flat zero score for me. Due to photography, communication with people was mainly about the hobby. I did not really find new net friends to chat, except for a few occasions, I was curious with some sites like OKcupid, Omegle and the phone app Tinder. I was too busy to utilize them. Besides, it was not my forte to fight for attention with thousands of guys.

Conclusion
My life was stagnant except for the progress in photography. I did not party nor meet friends often to chill up together. To many people, my life was boring but I was glad that I was living it differently and meaningfully. Some people might be seeking to enjoy their lives to the fullest by partying around, some wanted different experiences of sexual partners; I sought to establish a name for myself and be remembered positively after leaving this world.

Printable 2015 Calendar Planner

Try downloading and printing out Calendar Planner for year 2015, which is done by me!

Every year, I’m creating this Calendar Planner for everyone. It is something simple and I’m glad quite a number of people have complimented me over this free tool.

Someone be nice and print out a copy for me as well!

Spread the Love – December 2014

During my photoshoot with Lurvelle, Kelvin Sim joined in and offered very great assistance. He was able to even get safety pins during late night at Clarke Quay. During the entire shoot, he had been taking other great initiatives to offer his help. It was a culture shock for me because “escorts” of models were usually not more than “security guards”. I was very impressed with his courtesy and humbleness.

While helping Lurvelle with her three young models for their portfolio shoots, Kelvin Sim, Lester and Jacky joined in. Apart from rendering help, the presence of the three great guys made me feel heartwarming. It was good to hang out with people who were sincerity nice and had no secret agenda.

Mingfa’s youngest son, Elnathan, turned one year old. Weitat was too busy with his work could not make it down. Despite he was the main “organiser” for our usual outing, his absence did not hinder our trip down to attend the party. Gin, the great one took over the role and made arrangements. His timings were good and I was very impressed. Jingjie was another hero who actually took the trouble to ferry us (Gin, Bernard and I). It was an enjoyable trip with them to collect the cake for Mingfa. He also dropped me at Clementi MRT at the end of the day. Besides, it was illegal to stop at the bus-stop and Jingjie actually made a round by dropping me at the car park instead. Last but not listed, Jingkun also made his offer to fetch me from Bukit Batok, even though I took Jingjie’s car instead.

Mandy and Sharon Yeo were the hair and makeup artist and assistant during the couple shoot with Terry and Lynwen. They were very kind and easygoing, and also, literally strong. They rendered great helps during the shoot, including carrying of my heavy camera bag at times when we were shifting locations.

Terry, the man who made both Lynwen and I laughed throughout the shoot was the man who really made the shoot a success. Since the couple did not want any posing during the shoot, Terry had to make his wife smile in order to get natural photos. It was to the point that I forgot to snap photos while I was too entertained by him as well. He also gave us a treat at the end of the shoot.

During Christmas Eve, Gilbert asked me to go downstairs to meet him. I knew he was “up to no good” but gladly abide to his request. As expected, he passed me my Christmas present. While I had been spending all my time on work and photography, I did not leave any room to plan what to get for my friends during their birthdays and festivals. Gilbert was the only person who did not mind not receiving anything from me and instead, kept giving the little “smiles” and support that I needed.

While most of the time when I messaged Tricia Lee, it was for the sake of my photoshoot stuffs, she was glad to help me. Over time, guilt piled up but I continued to disturb her. She was always there for me, even during Christmas Eve.

It was Kachua’s wedding dinner, the sixth and last wedding for the last three months of year 2014 that I had to attend. Gim Young texted me and offered to give me a ride. Since he was staying in Holland Village, Orchard was actually very near his place. He ended up taking a much longer route to the hotel eventually because of me.