Sudden thoughts

There is this sudden mixed feeling in my heart. I’m too tired to really think right now. My eyes have been so irritated and my back has never stopped aching for weeks.

There are still so many things left undone and I guess I will not be able to finish them even on my ORD day.

I believe I have a very strong mindset. I always use the avoidance method to solve problems but it actually piles them up. I have been telling myself to forget the past, forget about everything and sometimes I pronounce myself as having amnesia.

I manage to make things work; I manage to erase things off my mind, but suddenly I realise I have lost more than the sad memories.

It has been so often that I experience lostness in my mind; I fail to understand myself and I fail to understand what I’m doing.

Pondering too much over stuffs can hurt myself a lot but when I try to ignore everything, there is no contingency plan.

Life is too complicated.

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