For a better future, hopefully

[Monday, 11 September, 2006]

It has been more than a month since my near-freedom days and I have somehow completely slacked down. Apart from “owing” so many outdated blog entries, I have not even completed a portfolio or resume.

I woke up this day with a light body, feeling so restless and strengthless, whereas my ears seemed to be partially blocked; it was a very bad sign.

As I was expecting for a phone call from Jonshit’s friend for my job at night, I checked my phone and realised the missed call was at 1200h. So, two hours after that, I sent a message to that number and my guess was right. Then, this lady told me the date for the job was actually next Monday.

It could be also considered as a good news since I was quite sick. I was glad that I finally knew the timing and place of that project, which was so damn near to my house. It was going to be a great new experience to be an usher in an event with many rich people. But of course, there were some fears that I might not be able to do a job if I had to speak a lot. No matter what, I had to take it in order to feed my sweet dowager.

As I was chatting with Gilbert in MSN, I searched for job online and eventually found one quite nice paying job of my qualification at http://www.jobsdb.com/SG/EN/Job.asp?R=JDBS064465650. However, it prickled my heart when I reflected how much I could offer them.

Gilbert urged me to touch up on my websites so that I could do a good port folio as to apply for the job, but I knew it could be too late by the time. Nevertheless, once again the flames aroused in my heart and my fighting spirit rose.

Since the main source of my distraction was my dowager, I spoke to her about it and she gladly agreed to show me support. However, in the end was an extremely piercing pain on my chest that she did not even let me know when she was going home from her tutor’s place. Sometimes I even took the initiative to fetch her after her tuition but this time I did not even accompany her on the phone through the dark path home.

Once again I had to blame myself for unable to multi-task on the phone and my work. Another big problem was that I did not have good time management, mainly because of the overloaded tasks and dreams I had on hand.

With my flu and cough, I had a hard time working with the blocked brain. There was not much inspiration and everything was slowed down.

Living on was a torture.

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