Blogspot’s Problem

[Wednesday, 21 March, 2007]

I demonstrated my hardworking spirit since before the start of the new day. One of the three new fishes that my brother bought was found dead when I tuned my head to the fish tank; it was quite sad. Daylight finally ended my work.

Louis waked me up at around noon for he realised I was holding to the Ang Mo Kio block 219 keys which I had forgotten to return. I thought I could wait till the next week so that I needed not go back to the office just for that.

When I realised I could not get back to sleep anymore, I decided to start the day soon. It was pretty rewarding to stay up till the morning for somehow it aided to my ten-bucks-per-day project. Actually, I was not sure if it really helped.

I spent the afternoon editing photos to update my old blog entries. Besides that, web editing was a routine.

Into late evening, I was dealt a blow when I witnessed the fact that Blogger did not allow too many entries at a day. I saw the verification column but when everything was filled nicely, Blogger logged me out immediately, which could be a bug. This was the first time Blogger was slowing down my development and I was so afraid that my hard work would go into waste any time.

I started chatting and discussing stuffs with Mike. A few friends messaged me as well despite the fact that my MSN was set to “Busy” mode. I did not mind if it was for serious matter or at least a friendly chat, but would definitely be annoyed if someone were to message me just to ask me for assistance.

I went to the bed a few times but waked up very soon after dozing off. Eventually I was up at 11pm, just nice to catch the “Four Famous Constables” on channel 8.

It’s A Raining Day

It’s the rain that hides your weeping
You claim the sun makes your eyes red
Indeed it’s shinning vigorously somewhere
I offer you an umbrella but you push it away
So that you can shower with Mother Nature
I stumble at your recklessly dashes
You trip and fall but never want me to offer you a hand
For you never believe someone would help
You yell towards the sky and you roar at the streetlights
And you say you are practising singing
You kneel on the flooded road
Where the ongoing cars splash water over your body
You thank them for their donation
You finally sing a song of proper
But you make heart-breaking too obvious
Some things take too long to forget
It’s pretty obvious but you join in the pretence
You just sit there and let the rain wash time away
You give up because you think it’s useless

Recovering From Failure

[Tuesday, 20 March, 2007]

Halfway through my work, I was distracted by my elder brother to play Condition Zero game again. We stopped at 4am after a few rounds of reaction training. My brother started to catch the soccer replay between Manchester United and Middlesbrough while I continued to finish up my work. I joined him at the second half of the match to witness the only goal of the game. It was a penalty kick for Ronaldo. I preferred a normal scoring, which would be much more exciting.

Kelly waked me up at around noon and came over my house’s carpark to let me sign the OTP for Kaven. Afterwards, I continued with my beauty sleep.

It was pretty disappointing to witness the failure of my ten-bucks-per-day project. It was a secret and thus should not be mentioned. However, the dejection drove me to strive even harder and thus the entire day was spent on web designing. I did not even want to go out with my family for dinner.

During late evening, Chicken-tortoise called me again. Usually, most guys, excluding Gilbert, would be very happy when sweet girls ring them up but it was different for me this time. She was asking me to do translation for her again. She did not hang up the call immediately but since she was busy chatting with her China friends online, we did not talk much. She claimed that she did call me to chat before but I did not pick up her call. Within minutes, she ended our conversation.

Jessica messaged me and I felt quite embarrassed for not approaching her instead. I gave her a call before informing Kelly of the requirement of a flat.

Ten Bucks Shaking

[Monday, 19 March, 2007]

It was a pathetic morning to see my ten-dollar-per-day plan reducing its value. Actually I had expected it but never knew it would be so soon. I got to be more innovative! I did manage to sleep at around 4am after having a game of Condition Zero with my elder brother.

In the day, I was pretty distracted again from my family. I started off with web design but did not really like to do anything when I was not alone. I cherished my privacy too much. I had a few rounds of Condition Zero with my brother again to relief my stress.

Kelly called me and told me I had to let Kaven re-sign some documents and that added loads to my brain; we had been troubling Kaven quite a number of times, which would certainly give him bad impression of our service. But this time, it was not within our measures.

The MP came to visit every house in my block and then I realised they come just to persuade every household to give positive reply in regarding the upgrading of lift; it was quite a big turn-off as I was expecting them to seek feedback for our living condition. Many people guessed it was impossible for my block to proceed even if the result of the voting was for it due to the structure of the building.

At night was a bit of chatting and of course, not initiated by me as I was already dying of stress. My elder brother started to clean and change water for the big fish tank. Finally, he managed to get rid of the pest inside the tank after clearing most of the items inside.

Lost Near My House

[Sunday, 18 March, 2007]

Weitat was sending Junrong, Jingkun, Junyang and I home. He went to Beach Road first before taking the ECP to my house. I was a road idiot and since it was at night and my eyes were so tired after swimming and playing volleyball, I was unable to guide the way. The problem with me was that I rarely take that route since I was always taking public transport but not cab. Moreover, I was sitting at the back with my astigmatism.

First, we took the wrong exit out and Weitat drove towards ECP once again by making a right turn instead of going straight. We went back to Forte Road once again and passed by Suntec City. When we were near the MRT station, I told Weitat to keep left and be prepared to turn left. However, he did not catch that small path and we went into Ah Moy Street instead and had to take the Chinatown road back to my house. It was really challenging to drive to my house for each path taken wrongly would require you to make a big round.

Blogging and updating of my websites took hours and thus I did not get to sleep early again. This time, I went to my brother’s room and joined him so that I could have a peaceful morning. I was waked up by an asshole of unfamiliar number. I supposed the previous owner of my phone number did not notify her colleagues and friends one year after changing her number and I was the unlucky Starhub subscriber to get that number.

In the afternoon, I sent an email to Kaven but there was a big error. Afterwards, we discussed over the cash he had to prepare but it did not tally. Suddenly, I realised it was communication problem again between Kelly and I. I was so disappointed with myself.

My younger brother and my mum were packing the room and dumping many of my mum’s junks. I was pretty distracted by them. I spent the afternoon chatting with Mike and Kaven and also, editing of websites as usual.

This night, the speed of my computer and internet pissed me off once again. Perhaps I should try to reformat my windows after years of untouched.

Swim, and the Most Enjoyable Volleyball before Dinner

[Saturday, 17 March, 2007]

Together with vex, lack of sleep and desperation to sleep early, I started work earlier and thus able to go to bed at 2am. Since my younger brother was back from camp, I had to squeeze into the queen size bed with him and my mum. I was not sure why he wanted to sleep in the middle for the second week and he occupied more to the inner size where only a very small space was left for me. I was only able to bury myself into that corner and did not bear to wake him up so that he could sleep a little more to my mum.

I was not sure how long it took for me to wake up with my right arm numbed. Somehow, due to the space constrain, I had slept sideway and forcing my body on the right side. I knew for sure my arm would be a gone case for volleyball in the later part of the day.

A ridiculous incident happened during my sleep again. My mum woke me up to ask if I was having enough space and she offered to join my elder brother in the other room. That was really stupid for she could have done something about it earlier or rather, left me alone when I was already asleep.

My nightmare did not end like that. In the early morning, my younger brother and my mum’s conversation woke me up a decent number of times. By 8.15am, I began to feel helpless. It was almost impossible for me to doze off at the noise level and when I was feeling annoyed. They were my family members after all even though they were so inconsiderate for me, despite the fact I had been doing the opposite.

My irritation gave me an idea to organise a swimming outing to Jurong East Swimming Complex. The first person I could think of was Gilbert of course and he replied me so fast. He tried to get a few people but only Chua Yongcai was available. I tried my luck and messaged more than forty friends but only less than ten of them replied and none of them was free.

We dragged on and decided to meet up at 11.45am and Gilbert was late for a while. Then, we went to Cheers to get some sandwiches and two babes passed by and I was right that they were going to the swimming complex as well. We met up with Yongcai outside the swimming pool.

After going a round in the Lazy Pool (our starter as usual, maybe because the pool was warmest), Yongcai decided to go and get a float. He took out a ten-dollar note but I stopped him before he almost locked the locker again to save the forty cents for him. It took me quite long to explain to him that the float cost only five bucks and that if he were to bring the five bucks over, the person would give him another five bucks back, such that he had to open the locker again.

The day was fine. The weather turned from a little drizzling into a bit sunny. We invaded the Lazy pool with the float and Yongcai did not catch up with us suddenly. Later on, he told us he was looking at two babes who did not move as fast as us. I supposed he was mentioning about the two girls I saw at the MRT station and I did get to see them again but from far and since I did not put on my spectacle, I did not get to admire them again.

We had two or three rounds of waves at the Waves pool. There were a few couples there and they seemed to enjoy hugging together and jumping as the waves approached them. There were also a handful of cute little girls.

My main achievement of the day was to successfully persuade Yongcai to play the yellow slide with me. He was never brave enough to attempt any of the three slides until my mouth was dried. Then, he started to get addicted to it. It was nice crapping with both of them for the entire trip and I got to have a little suntan before we left for my skin was so fair.

Me and Yongcai

Me and Yongcai

Gilbert and Yongcai

Yongcai’s creative phototaking

Smile not nice

Act cool

And more

Act rebellious

Me and Yongcai

At the hawker centre

At the bus-stop

We had photo-taking session at the usual gate and spent quite long time there for Gilbert was not satisfied with Yongcai’s skill. Then, Yongcai introduced us to his favourite chicken rice stall but I did not really like it for the taste of garlic. Afterwards, we took bus 99 to IMM, which was quite meaningless except to get to see some pretty salesgirls at some shops.

Then, I took bus 99 to Clementi ITE straight away and began my volleyball journey for the day. My right arm was indeed giving me big problem like the previous time due to the bad sleeping posture. This day, we had Jingkun, Mingfa, Meijun, Weitat, Jianhao, Junyang, Mingen and Junrong.

During the match with the outsiders, I was disappointed that we had too many people. Both Jingkun and Mingfa wanted me to train as libero but it was really a terrible feeling to get into the court with my digging skill so rusted already. I played as libero in the first set and got to know some disagreement of the team.

One of the uncles had brought his daughter and son along. The daughter was quite cute, whereas the son was tall but could only jump to the height of a vitagen bottle as described by Jingkun.

Later, Mingfa had a little giddy and Junyang got to play as setter when I was finally playing as spiker. I had Jianhao, Jingkun, Weitat, Meijun and Junyang with me and the opponents seemed to belittle us in the absence of Mingfa as the setter. Six of us were not the best players around but we were the most hardworking ones. For me, seeing my team-mates working hard was enough to drive me to put in my best, but the underestimation from the opponents gave me greater determination to play well.

Digging was much better this time. There was once I lost control of the first ball and the second ball was hit to the back and out of the court, I made to dive and hook the ball to the opponent’s court with just one hand. Despite having pain on the joint of my right shoulder, I managed to spike from number four to near opponent’s number three-metre line at number four. The rest of the spikes were well delivered over to the opponent’s court without any careless mistake.

Mingen had left to meet up with Tiffany. Then, Jianhao sent Weitat home to get his car before he went to fetch his girlfriend. At the absence of both the tallest and agile spikers, we continued to dominate the court with our team’s fighting spirit.

Weitat returned soon to join us in the last enjoyable game and I had to play as libero again. Everyone continued to persist on. Even though we lost many points at first but we soon fought back and maintained our unbeaten-able title for the night. Of course, if the opponents were at their younger ages, we would have lost most of the matches.

We had to pack up the hall and rearrange all the furniture to the drawn map at the end of the game. It was due to the event that the Tuesday and Thursday games had to be cancelled. Jianhao was asking us to decide on the place for dinner upon his return during our last game, but when some of us mentioned the east side, he gave negative. In the end, some of them were quite pissed for we knew he already had some places to decide on and yet he kept asking us the obvious. And since there were only two cars including his, we had to follow his recommendation.

We went to NUS’s prata shop. Weitat was horned by a car behind before we could find a parking space. Later on, we turned into the private houses behind and stopped there while contacting Jianhao’s side. Suddenly, the same car arrived and horned us again even though there was sufficient space for that driver to pass through. It was just an example of rich assholes trying to show off their big Mercedes cars. Soon, we decided to go back and park at the roadside opposite the shops.

We went to the shop selling nasi lemak but none of the food gave me the craving. Jingkun and I went over to the prata shop instead and ordered our own food. We had lots of nice jokes and I did not mind hanging with them even though it was getting late and I knew I had to finish many things before sleeping every night.

Loner Hates MSN

[Friday, 16 March, 2007]

Mike told me he was going to find an office space the week after but I did not want to give myself too high hopes for the moment. We had some discussions again and I worked till late as usual. I was waked up by Kelly to get CPF statement from Kaven and then I went back to sleep as usual.

I woke up late and my mum called home to check if I was hungry a not and I answered “no” for I thought she have important thing to do but would be home soon. Eventually, she came home at 3am and I really regretted it. I had just finished two slices of breads and thus had no appetite for the packet rice by then.

I went to find Kaven at 4pm. This time, I cycled in my singlet into the crowded business district. Even though it was such a short distance, I was dead beat upon reaching there. After giving back his bank loan papers and collecting his CPF statement, I took the route at Ah Moy Street home. Just after passing by the food centre, a driver of a parked car opened the door when I was so near. Luckily I performed stun by braking and twisting the bicycle to the right side, managed to continue the journey without stopping for a second. I was basically keeping to the left since the lane was small and the car owner should really look behind before opening the door.

After reaching home, I rested to wait for my sweat to dry up before taking my bath. Then, I remembered I had forgotten to finish up my lunch again but luckily the food did not turn bad. I spent the afternoon editing my websites as usual and had half an hour game of Condition Zero. I dozed off eventually for around half an hour but the loud sound from the other room woke me up many times for my younger brother had returned home from camp and was watching movie.

Into evening, I gave up sleeping and continued with my work. I called into the room but the volume of the loud noise was not lowered that I had to go and close the door, feeling so irritated. I tried to read up on a website recommended by Mike but I was distracted with other work and that reading was a torture to me.

At night, Kelly called me regarding Kaven’s stuffs and we had some chat. She told me I should not stay too close to my clients such that I would be placed in difficult position like when Kaven’s mum requested me to push the appointment earlier I could not reject her immediately.

At the same time, Suimin messaged me again to ask me for an English song. I seemed to be pierced somehow and felt so sad. It was almost every time she contacted me, she was simply asking me to help her with all sorts of things. Apart from I was not into any English song, I was very clueless about where to find them.

Peh messaged me so coincidentally to complain about MaxOnline. The network was slow for these few days but at least I was able to connect to MSN and other websites. Perhaps, it could be problems with my own computer or even the router and thus I did not know what to reply to him.

This moment when I was so pissed off with my half done work, and had to settle some money (my most sensitive hatred) problems with Kaven in the MSN and Kelly over the phone, while being unable to find the song for Suimin and did not know how to reply Peh, I seemed to be massacred.

Afterwards, I got more irritated when I was unable to do my work efficiently for the wait for everything to finish loading was long. It was so bad that I nodded my head a few times. Then, I started uninstalling Yahoo Messenger and running all the system clean up programs.

I had to believe I was unable to concentrate with the MSN opened, even though very few people had bothered to message me or reply my messages anymore; the more than two hundreds and fifty of contacts seemed to be decoration except when my need was required. In future I might consider not switching it on.

Escape

Whenever my pictures come across your head, what do you think of?

Whenever you need help, am I the first and only person you can think of? But when you are having fun with other friends, have you ever wondered where I am?

Are humans born to be selfish? Are good people fated to be made used of?

There are things which I used to be able to do and there are things which I cannot afford the time to do now.

If I have the time and capability, I would make everybody happy.

Headache

[Thursday, 15 March, 2007]

Before I could realise, it was already near 5am. After waking up in the afternoon, I started my daily routine of clearing my emails. I was basically waiting for my mum to come back with my meal and also Kelly to message me the particulars of the buyers for the flats.

After she gave me the details, she sent me another message to ask if I would mind that she disband the group. It was unfair to her all along that Jenny, Mingfa and I were kind of dragging her since she was doing most of the work and that Jenny did not even appear once. Looking at the other angle, also mentioned by friends, Kelly was too busy to really teach us.

I did not finish my lunch and left home at around 3pm as I was afraid the HDB branch office would not wait for me. After reaching the office, I was a bit weary somehow. The two attachment students were at Regina’s counter and the cute one looked quite expressionless. However, I met Regina just outside the photocopier room and she was smiling so happily finally. I got down to a seat and quickly started filling up the Salutatory Declaration forms before going down to the HDB branch office.

This time, the reception counter was empty and I pressed for the queue number myself for the first time. There were three counters available and somehow my wish was granted and I was served by Mr. Ho again. He looked friendliest among the officers and was also most professional.

I went back to the office afterwards and helped Kelly to get an invoice from Winnie. It was then I realised I had keyed in the wrong number into my phone and that was why I was unable to get through her line. She looked extremely shagged and sick that as if she would fall down anytime. Nevertheless, she was still as helpful.

I had a long wait at the bus interchange for bus 167. After reaching home, I finished up the remaining food for my lunch and started bathing. Then, I took MRT to Kovan to meet up with Kaven. His sister, Fui Yen, caught me at the door of Heartland Mall and I was very glad that she still remembered me. I got to meet their mum and later, Kaven joined us after buying his drinks.

It was only near 7pm, which was an hour away from the arranged time. Kaven’s mum wanted to go up to the Hougang flat immediately and I was quite lost. I called Kelly and got Rina’s number from her and tried to see if Rina could arrange to let us go up earlier. I was lectured by Kelly for she said I was supposed to control the situation. Nevertheless, I did my part to ring up Rina who told me the owners were inconvenient to let us go up earlier.

The worst came while we were approaching Kaven’s car, for he and his sister had a tiff. I was not worried about my commission but the sudden cancellation of the second viewing of the flat in jus less than an hour’s time. We paused at a car park for some time before proceeding to the flat. I did not understand their language on the car but I felt so awkward to sit in their family’s dispute. It kept my head spinning.

Luckily, Kelly had reached there earlier to wait for us. I had quite awkward encounter when Kaven’s mum asked me about why Maybank was not giving any gift. I explained to her that its interest rate was lower than other banks and that could be the reason why they were not giving away any freebies. Then, his mum told me she had just bought a house in Malaysia and the bank offered zero commission for the first year. I became quite wary of his mum for I was afraid to give any wrong answer to her questions.

We did most of the documents at the void deck while waiting for the time to pass. Rina arrived at 8pm and we went up together. It was the third visit there and both Kaven and I loved the place. We stayed there to finish up the documents after Kaven and his family decided to buy it. Suimin called me twice to ask me for translation again when my mind was in chaos and was actually busy with the documentations.

After that, we went to the coffee shop across the street while waiting for Kelly to photocopy their identification cards. I did not buy any food for I was having headache. Kelly returned for the second time to let me sign some documents. Kaven was booked for parking his car outside the rubbish dump collecting place and was fined hundred bucks. He sent his mum and sister home before dropping me at my house.

The fact that I had to either get a part time job or switch to a better company troubled me and that could be the source of my illness. I would probably wait till finishing the course at my company before deciding on anytime. That was five months after joining the company, they finally got the course up and I wondered how many cheated people would attend the course for I believed many of them had already gotten themselves other jobs.

The Chicken Tortoise Was Back

[Wednesday, 14 March, 2007]

The repeated old show on channel 8 was nice. I had a rare chat initiated by Ruoci and I started bombarding her for not replying to my message the day before when I was at Bedok. At times, I felt like deleting the contacts on my phone of friends who did not bother about me. It took me long to finish up my work and thus slept late again.

I was eventually waken up by Kelly who told me to do SD as soon as possible for the block 219 Ang Mo Kio flat but since I knew it was not very urgent, I told her I would probably do it some other days. To me, it was stupid to go all the way down to Bukit Merah HDB branch office just to do it and I would prefer to do it on the way if I had to go to the office.

I woke up around noon eventually and saw Suimin’s Friendster being updated and I knew this chicken-tortoise had returned to Singapore. She could have sent me a SMS once she touched down from the plane.

Justus came over to my house and bugged me for very long with his Chinese assessment book. His mum had given him so many pages of work and it drained me off. He could have tried them before approaching me but again he chose to do everything in my presence and with my companion so that he could chat at the same time.

Anyway, I saw Suimin online in MSN and thought she would be very busy but she messaged me some time later, however, to ask me to find songs for her again. For the rest of the day, I became her translator for she was so enthusiastic to chat online with her China friends. She called me a few times over the phone and the main purpose was simply to ask questions. I finally received the photos taken with her at the airport but they were all too blurred, which was really saddening.

While entertaining her, I spent my time wisely to edit my property website by editing the graphic but progress was not good. The ear piece saved me from my starvation that I was able to take my dinner while helping her with the translation while my brain was in good condition.

Time seemed to pass by very quickly and by the end of the day when Mike messaged me in MSN, I had to admit to him that nothing much was done for the day. I really should work more selfishly towards my goals without being interrupted by anyone, inclusive of babes. The main problem of course lay in me for I had always begun everything so enthusiastically but towards a quarter to completion, I started to slow down with too many things brooding over me.

I was supposed to join the volleyball gang the next day but Kaven’s flat exercising was fitted nicely at 8pm, such that I could not appear at both Clementi and Hougang at the same time. The plan to go for dinner at Newton after the volleyball game had vanished from my calendar.

The struggle of the decision to my path of life continued but again, to no avail. At least I should switch to a better company. It was difficult to work without transportation and hardworking attitude alone was useless when there was no gut. Sincerity and honestly were burying me away from light.