Lost Track of Training

I didn’t know what had gotten into me that I totally forgot about the volleyball training. All in my mind was that Mingfa was trying to get a friendly match for today with the Singapore Combined School. Moreover, the training days of each week were not constant.

I was out with my mum to make my spectacle and I could not leave her behind while I hurry home on my fast pace. It was rare for me to be out with her when I was so busy with my job, websites and volleyball. She would most probably starve herself if I were to make my way home myself and in any way, I didn’t want to be an unfilial child.

It was obvious that I wouldn’t lie and for my passion and thus I would never want to skip any training to build regain my skill and confidence. I was already feeling bad enough when I received more calls when I had already made myself clear that I was outside and might not be able to get down.

It was meant to be a good night but my mum could obviously sense my depression. We took our dinner fast and walked home in a reasonable speed that she would not feel the pressure from me that I was in a rush. I went all the way down to Clementi despite the training was going to end soon.

One thing I can never understand is that some people often have to trouble the rest to help them with things that they can actually do themselves. When your friend is already late due to some personal reasons, trying to rush down in his quickest pace, do you feel comfortable by asking him to get something for you while he’s “on his way”?

I feel so lost about human’s mind.

Do you subconsciously think that since the person doesn’t hold an important role, you can even afford to have him late for longer?

I don’t talk much sometimes but I do observe better than most people. When you often have to repeat and raise your voice in order for your friends to hear your questions or words, it certainly shows how much you really weigh in their inner hearts, which they may not even realise it.

To Be Alone

It has been quite a number of days when I don’t do my usual lengthy report of my daily life.

Those assholes who come across my life should be celebrating right now for I haven’t been exposing their deeds. It’s also good for friends who have been unintentionally hurting me over and over again.

You don’t need to check in each time simply to see the damage you have dealt.

I’m learning to numb myself and work will soon devastate my feeling. It’s now my destiny and dream – to be alone.

Wasted Saturday

Progress in web building has been slow, or rather, not moving at all. Saturdays are always good for catching up with my work but I wasted my previous one at the office instead.

Do make sacrifices for only people who worth it. Perhaps, two more months before my scheduled freedom.

You Play Sarcasms?

“It has been a while I last seen the weekly ISU updates. Do you remember the protocol still?”

Are you trying to be sarcastic? Let’s play then.

I have been putting it aside simply to spend the time on solving problems for your clients to contribute to more than fifty percent of your total revenue and you obviously know my effort.

Let me ignore all requests on every Friday to do the damn report for you.

Can’t Stand Them Smoking

I get so pissed off when I see my close friends smoke. They used to be so innocent and they even used to stop other friends from smoking as well.

I have been in terrible mood since end of last month when my money making site being massacred and my more than half a year of efforts went down the drain.

They are directly affecting me so much as if they are trying to make me berserk.

Maybe I have cared too much that I have gone overboard because some people’s business aren’t my business.

Some things are beyond my help. Just like years ago when I tried to stop some underage female friends from drinking, they did not seem to appreciate me at all.

Why am I bothering so much?

Sites Moved to Sub Domain

Thanks to Mike, I’m able to create sub domain by myself. I think doing with sub domain is more appropriate than using folders since they do not really belong to my main site; moreover, my main site’s folder will be neater.

http://bmccvball.sillydumb.com
http://buayascript.sillydumb.com
http://fallenforpink.sillydumb.com
http://foodwatch.sillydumb.com
http://lovesick.sillydumb.com
http://property.sillydumb.com
http://smokeforwhat.com/smokeslayer

I hope I will have time to revamp Smoke Slayer and then I will probably get a new domain name for it before I try to exchange links with big websites. The intention behind the site is to discourage smoking and I believe I should not waste my effort and stop it halfway.

Losing My Mind and Eventually My Soul

People who experience more dejections would more likely to get tougher. There is, however, this possibility that he would become emotionless.

Would you still care for me if one day I lose my innocence and ignorance?

You have never cared and you never will, and so, does it matter? Oh, so it really doesn’t matter to you.

Why are you here reading about me? If I have continued to type every single detail of my daily life, will you bother? Are you here just to find out whether did I curse you after you mistreat me?

I feel the need to get wild and one day I’m going to lose myself. You know one day even you cannot stop me. By then, don’t feel guilty.