The Space to Start Family, Not Sex

I was having dinner with Jake’s mum together with my mum and younger brother on Wednesday when she asked me why I did not get a girlfriend.

At first, I told her I could not get any. Later, I admitted to her that some of the main problems were due to lack of time and financial stability, and that my house was small.

Her response was that it did not matter even if my house was very crowded because I needed not to bring my girlfriend home to do business when I was in a relationship.

I was stunned and embarrassed as my brain went into a daze. For some time until we changed topic, I had forgotten my initial reason.

It was not about the space for sex I was talking about, but the future.

If I were to have a girlfriend and we decide to get married one day, we would need countless bidding for a new BTO flat that is “affordable” (my foot!). It would then take at least three years for the flat to be built and be ready.

No, I would not want to get a resales flat in the ridiculous open market and live in greater debt.

The rich people who always pretend to sound puzzled over why the birthrate in Singapore is falling badly are responsible for the downfall. People hate them for good reasons.

I would never want any girl to suffer with me. People may argue that a girl who is worthy of my love would not mind suffering with me but I would still leave things to fate before I am confident of taking care of another person.

Guys cannot be trusted

Sometimes, saying some words may easily shows your shallowness when you are supposed to be at a certain age of maturity.

“Nowadays, guys can’t be trusted.”

I may not know what you have been through, but this is more of a teenager’s saying. And I wonder do you even trust your dad.

Since the internet has become a free private investigator, you can probably check a person’s information online. If all his details are available and clearer than any other guy’s, and you have decided to add him to your social network profile as a friend, learn to trust him more.

You may not mean it but some words can be very insulting.

I guess any guy who is up to no good would probably target a girl who is prettier and has a better figure. The wolf would have also strike the iron hot when the girl first makes a point to add him as a net friend.

Anyway, the worst person I have come across in my life is a female whom I have met three years ago. I know it well that girls can be even more dishonest and filthier than guys.

I may be corny and talking about pretty girls often but I have been single for nearly three years. If I am so desperate, I would have gotten into uncountable relationships. I control my urge and I think with the head on top of my body. There is so much effort I have placed in and I am so proud of myself that any insult that suspects my integrity would be treated highly as an abuse.

In words of fairness, many guys and girls cannot be trusted – not all.

Finding Home Tutor for Oliver

After last Saturday’s volleyball and late dinner, Bernard, Oliver and I took a ride in Weitat’s car. We were asking about Oliver’s studies when he talked about his current tuition sessions.

His E-maths tutor charged him at the tuition rate of $45 per hour and he could not understand anything. He did not voice out and continued to waste his time and money. Then, he praised his chemistry tutor for teaching him “shortcuts”. This tutor had also offered to coach him on physics in an additional session per week but both tuition sessions were eventually spent only on chemistry. He told us that this tutor’s mum was working as a nurse and we came to the picture that this tutor had been chit-chatting with him during the tuition sessions. This science tutor charged him at the rate of $36.67 per hour.

Oliver sounded naive.

I was stunned to know about his $710 ($270 + $440) monthly tuition fee, which amounted more than half of his dad’s monthly income. His dad’s fatherly love for him touched me. He also mentioned that his dad had to delay payments for other bills just because of his tuition.

He asked me to help him to get a physics tutor. I knew I could do something to help him since I was running a tuition agency and we had been actively helping needy students discreetly (due to lack of manpower for even the daily operation with little revenue). At the very same night, I reached home late and approached Tricia. She responded fast to accept the challenge and I was filled with guilt because she had been sacrificing lots of time silently to do extra work.

Our objective was to assist Oliver to score better grades and also reduce the load (cash) on his dad.

It was not an easy process to help Oliver. I sensed that he did not seem to have proper communication with his dad, just like how I often found it difficult to talk to my mum. He refused to let Tricia talk with his dad somehow and insisted that he could make all decisions. We thought his dad had a great stake in this matter since he was footing the bill.

He mentioned that the tutors were introduced to him by his dad’s friend and thus both the father and son felt uncomfortable to sack them, which spoke well of his dad in term of his character. However, I felt his dad’s friend had wronged them by recommending such costly and inefficient tutors. The tutors could be good but it was proven that both of them did not have good chemistry with Oliver and the fact was that my tuition agency could provide him with similar quality tutors with more affordable prices.

He decided to reduce the number of tuition sessions with his science tutor so that the extra money could be spent on the new physics tutor instead. It was not a good solution since it would not solve the problems with his e-maths and chemistry subjects, moreover, it would not relieve his dad off the financial burden. For me, if the tutoring sessions could not help him much, I would rather he spend the time playing volleyball instead of tiring himself off mentally.

Being a short-term tuition assignment, it would actually turn most tutors away. Tricia managed to find a full-time tutor on our side who had proven track record and was willing to lower down his tuition fee. He was able to help Oliver on all the three subjects at the rate of $25 per hour. We made this possible because Tricia was on close term with the tutor and we were doing it free-of-charge (not taking any commission at all). However, over Oliver’s side, he insisted not to replace the tutors.

This tuition assignment bothered me for two nights. I even woke up thinking of it. It had cost me a lot of distractions while doing my work and I supposed Tricia had spent more time communicating with the tutor and Oliver.

Finally, on Monday, Tricia gave me a good piece of news that she finally got to talk over the phone with Oliver’s dad and he had agreed to replace the tutors. I was overjoyed because I was sure there was higher chance for the new tutor to assist Oliver in achieving better grades and it would lighten his dad’s burden financially.

The final result solely depended on how determined Oliver was to catch up with his studies after fooling around throughout his secondary school life.

Oliver’s dad was a great man and Tricia was a great woman. Oliver was lucky to have such a dad and I was lucky to have a good friend and co-worker like Tricia.

Just Busy

Can you imagine when a guy who used to pen his thought down into his blog daily can no longer afford the time to do it anymore? Life goes on but it does not get any better.

He speaks to no one.

If you have accumulated months of frustration and unable to pour them out, perhaps, it may not be healthy.

Life has been really tough for me. I’m leading a very indifferent one from most people by running my own business with the cheapest ways possible. It ends up that I’m draining myself badly due to the fact that I’m the one handling almost all technical work.

Yes, I can task down my work to others.

I can pay someone trustworthy to take over the daily administration work, a SEO company to do the internet marketing work and a web solution company to code a “perfect” system. How much is left and will be earned in future?

Things are definitely not as simple as what others think. I’m, however, committed to improve on everything.