" +
"I'll make your path like rainbow,
" +
"and dump your worries below.
" +
"I'll make the railings tall,
" +
"in case you fall.
" +
"I'll innovate miracle,
" +
"whenever trouble occurs.
" +
"I'll transform my love into shelters,
" +
"whenever it showers.
" +
"I'll cool the sun,
" +
"if you're going to have fun.
" +
"I'll brighten the moon,
" +
"if you want to see it at noon.
" +
"I'll sneak into your dreams,
" +
"to ensure you won't scream.
" +
"I'll make you a heaven,
" +
"with the love I have given.
" +
"I can promise you my life,
" +
"I promise you I'll try, I'll try.");
poemDate("08.08.2000");
poemTitle("Love me, my lover");
poemContent("Confess now my lover,
" +
"whisper into my ear,
" +
"say you are going to love me
" +
"till the sun freezes.
" +
"Kiss me deep onto my lips
" +
"with your love so true.
" +
"Give me your trust I command,
" +
"and I'll ensure your future.
" +
"Seize my heart quick
" +
"before my mind goes crazy.
" +
"Cover my tired eyes
" +
"with your everlasting smile.
" +
"Come into my world of peace and joy,
" +
"where you'll never cry.
" +
"Lean onto my shoulder,
" +
"and I'll show you happiness.
" +
"Inject me with kisses
" +
"whenever you are free.
" +
"And beware of my tears,
" +
"because it can flood.");
poemDate("09.08.2000");
poemTitle("Flying kiss");
poemContent("My heartbeat stopped
" +
"at least for a second.
" +
"I opened my eyes wide,
" +
"and stared at your beauty.
" +
"I wondered if I was seeing things,
" +
"or were you out of mind again.
" +
"You laughed naughtily at me,
" +
"I just couldn't believe my sight.
" +
"An angel moving down on the escalator
" +
"rounded up my mind.
" +
"My eyeballs followed you all along,
" +
"until the heartless wall distanced us.
" +
"You left my mind in chaos,
" +
"while your charm ran around.
" +
"I kept recalling your lips,
" +
"and the kissing sound you made.
" +
"Girl, you were driving me crazy,
" +
"you made me find my love back.
" +
"How I wish you were close to me;
" +
"how I wish it was more than just a flying kiss.");
poemDate("15.08.2000");
poemTitle("Death convict");
poemContent("Someone stabbed me with a friendship knife,
" +
"who angered me with his pretence.
" +
"My back bled; my heart cried,
" +
"as I almost grew furious with my girl.
" +
"Morning saw my tears,
" +
"dripping down with the water splashed onto my face.
" +
"The kind-souls surrounding me,
" +
"where the horrible sorrow was seen.
" +
"My fear push me into a stream of tears,
" +
"there, I learnt to swim in regrets.
" +
"Drowning in the bitter water,
" +
"I realized they were from my eyes.
" +
"My heart advanced to her side,
" +
"before I ignored my tasks.
" +
"My angel passed by swiftly,
" +
"and left my loneliness remained.
" +
"The silent death convict waited in depression,
" +
"throughout the prolonged afternoon.
" +
"There she came to the usual place,
" +
"giving a pause followed by her smile.");
poemDate("17.08.2000");
poemTitle("The love runner");
poemContent("The cool weather started the day,
" +
"for the staggering young man.
" +
"Depression overwhelmed him,
" +
"for he could hardly even climb the stairs.
" +
"The race began
" +
"with hundreds of ambitious men.
" +
"He paved shabbily,
" +
"with the flu and cough he had caught.
" +
"True men never give up,
" +
"just like him who was so determined.
" +
"For in his mind lay a girl,
" +
"whom he had been living for.
" +
"He tried to overtake the strolling crowd,
" +
"he dashed and he almost tripped,
" +
"but he had never thought of slowing down,
" +
"for the power of love so strong.
" +
"He overcame the slopes and the pains he had,
" +
"he struggled to the finishing line in the sixteen position.
" +
"Exhausted he forced himself to forget,
" +
"rushing to his girl immediately to share the joy.");
poemDate("20.08.2000");
poemTitle("Let her be happy");
poemContent("Morning light, fulfill my request,
" +
"shines my love on my beloved girl,
" +
"let her receive the warmth of my heart,
" +
"let her realize the power of love surrounding her,
" +
"so that she can wake up and think of me.
" +
"Afternoon rays, guide my heart to the oceans,
" +
"display my true love to the ships and currents,
" +
"evoke the jealousy of the birds and fishes to the peak,
" +
"let the fantasy of the world envy her,
" +
"thus promote her to the happiest girl on earth.
" +
"I beg mother nature,
" +
"allow my devotion to conquer the evening,
" +
"and I'll stall the sun from setting,
" +
"until she's beside me in her sweetest charm,
" +
"let her enjoy the greatest romance of life.
" +
"Someone please send my regards to Mr Moon,
" +
"convince him to show my face in the starry night,
" +
"let Angela see me no matter how far she is,
" +
"let her know that I'm watching over her,
" +
"so that she can sleep tightly and dream of me.");
poemDate("28.08.2000");
poemTitle("Hidden pains");
poemContent("You can't remember what you said and promised,
" +
"not even when you started falling for me.
" +
"I thought you were supposed to spend more time with me,
" +
"but I don't seem to be worth more than your friends.
" +
"You know I'm sad when I start to mutter nonsense,
" +
"but you just can't differentiate between anger and disappointment.
" +
"Can I kiss you like how couples do?
" +
"Can I hold you deep into my arms?
" +
"If you don't have the urge to want to see me everyday,
" +
"I guess I just have to stay out of your way.
" +
"If you don't appreciate love,
" +
"let me suffer in pain alone.
" +
"You'll know I have given up totally
" +
"when you hear nothing from me.
" +
"By then, you'll see me no more,
" +
"but trust me, my heart hurts more than anyone's.");
poemDate("01.09.2000");
poemTitle("Broken heart");
poemContent("It's all my fault,
" +
"I didn't do enough to make you stay with me.
" +
"Don't lie that I'm nice,
" +
"otherwise you won't leave me for good.
" +
"I can't bear to hate you,
" +
"but I can hurt myself more than how you hurt me.
" +
"You know I'm going to dispirit myself again,
" +
"and no one can stop me except my girl.
" +
"Sorry, I can't help feeling sad,
" +
"because I'm deeply in love with you.
" +
"You're going to hear me cry,
" +
"everywhere, every time.
" +
"Girls are fearful,
" +
"and now you've turned them into devils.
" +
"Can I still believe in love?
" +
"Phobia hesitates me.
" +
"Millions of girls out there are better than you,
" +
"but they just can't love me the way you do.
" +
"Future may piece my broken heart back,
" +
"but it can never be strong with lost pieces.");
poemDate("02.09.2000");
poemTitle("After she left");
poemContent("First day she left me,
" +
"I cried hard; I gave up on myself.
" +
"For more than thirty hours I didn't touch any food,
" +
"everything seemed so fake to me.
" +
"I learned to starve and thirst myself.
" +
"Second day in the depressing morning,
" +
"my hands trembled.
" +
"But I forced myself to write
" +
"the words of truth from my heart.
" +
"I learned to cry without tears.
" +
"Second day in the dull afternoon,
" +
"I sticked hard onto my bed.
" +
"Nothing went into my mind except her,
" +
"and the promise to find myself back she abandoned.
" +
"I learned to face my pillow all the time.
" +
"Second day in the lonely night,
" +
"I left my house to become myself.
" +
"I wanted to cry out freely,
" +
"not secretly on the wetted bed of my cage.
" +
"I learned to buy beer for myself.
" +
"Third day after midnight,
" +
"bottomed up to celebrate for the one month anniversary.
" +
"My face was coloured red
" +
"by my giddiness which I wanted so badly.
" +
"I learned to ignore everything.");
poemDate("04.09.2000");
poemTitle("Two lovers apart");
poemContent("The concern for a friend can only be to an extent,
" +
"you don't have to worry for me.
" +
"If you really love me,
" +
"come back to me.
" +
"You must be mistaken,
" +
"my life doesn't grow any better;
" +
"Without you giving me hope,
" +
"I can take it no more.
" +
"Two lovers apart,
" +
"wanting to see each other.
" +
"You know you need me,
" +
"but you choose to lie to yourself.
" +
"Could it be phobia from the past
" +
"that makes you afraid?
" +
"Or could it be your parents
" +
"who are going to blame you?
" +
"If only my heart can be heard,
" +
"the crying sound will be louder than thunder;
" +
"If pain can voice out,
" +
"you'll know how much I'm suffering.");
poemDate("04.09.2000");
poemTitle("You don't know what's love");
poemContent("You said you love me,
" +
"girl, you don't know what's love.
" +
"I'm willing to sacrifice everything for you,
" +
"but you let minor problems rule your mind.
" +
"You promised to help me find myself,
" +
"now you forget everything and back out halfway.
" +
"Your selfishness thinks I'm going to be fine,
" +
"you add sorrow to my tired mind.
" +
"You saw me downgrade myself;
" +
"you know I'm torturing myself.
" +
"You just don't understand my pains
" +
"and the suffering I'm going through.
" +
"You refused to tell me your discontentment,
" +
"and now you don't give me a chance to amend.
" +
"I'm sorry I can't understand your childish mind
" +
"but I swear I have done my best.
" +
"You are devil in love,
" +
"you hurt me so hard.
" +
"You choose to separate our path,
" +
"even though I'll always be there for you.");
poemDate("07.09.2000");
poemTitle("My world");
poemContent("I'm back to my life of loneliness
" +
"with my shivering heart in pieces.
" +
"Terrors accompany me,
" +
"fearing the cruelty of human beings.
" +
"This world is full of lies,
" +
"where promises can't be kept.
" +
"Strange people pamper me,
" +
"luring me into their traps.
" +
"I see flowers bloom on the winter roofs,
" +
"robbers thanking the policemen,
" +
"and I see crocodiles shed tears.
" +
"I see illusions.
" +
"One day, I'm going to fly high,
" +
"leaving my world of endless night.
" +
"Even if I fall and crush to death,
" +
"I'm certain I'll be happier.
" +
"Someone please heal my world,
" +
"before I lose my mind.
" +
"Save me,
" +
"don't you leave me alone.");
poemDate("08.09.2000");
poemTitle("The ending");
poemContent("Everywhere I go, I see our past,
" +
"the cruel fate brought us together.
" +
"I can't help thinking of you,
" +
"as your image keeps appearing on my mind.
" +
"You can't leave me alone walking in the dark,
" +
"you know I fear to be by myself;
" +
"you know I'll fall.
" +
"Darkness going to kill me.
" +
"A sorry doesn't help much,
" +
"after you have used it countless time.
" +
"I don't want to hear you apologize,
" +
"even if you have done me wrong.
" +
"You know I hate to pretend,
" +
"as I don't want to lie to myself.
" +
"But now I have to imagine,
" +
"that we are back to the past.
" +
"Reality jeers at me,
" +
"mocking at my stupidness.
" +
"My hope to keep you happy perishes,
" +
"as it disperses through the gaming world.");
poemDate("10.09.2000");
poemTitle("Nightmare");
poemContent("I can't forget the dream where our paths crossed,
" +
"the happiness when you told me you had a crush on me.
" +
"and the confession you wanted to stay with me.
" +
"I couldn't believe it was real.
" +
"I set aside my cowardice,
" +
"brave myself up to hold your hands.
" +
"I lived carefreely and confidently,
" +
"knowing that you were with me.
" +
"I feared I might neglect you,
" +
"I tried spending all my time with you.
" +
"But your heart was covered by thorns,
" +
"and thousands of them pierced me.
" +
"The day which I thought we were going to have fun,
" +
"it turned out for me to cry.
" +
"My body weakened each day,
" +
"but you'd never help me stride on.
" +
"Then I realize I'm a fool,
" +
"your love isn't enough for you to stop me suffering.
" +
"Fate has given me another deadly blow.
" +
"I have to believe it's real.");
poemDate("10.09.2000");
poemTitle("She has changed");
poemContent("She sits down there,
" +
"watching him decays.
" +
"He can't accept the fact,
" +
"that his girl has turned merciless.
" +
"He loves her for her cheerfulness,
" +
"and her kindness he believes in.
" +
"Now that days have flown,
" +
"he has doubts in himself.
" +
"The confidence he has just regained,
" +
"is executed by his sweet girl.
" +
"His dreams he determines for,
" +
"vanishes into the thin air.
" +
"He weeps everyday,
" +
"for his lover who's gone.
" +
"He forgoes his interests,
" +
"and lives as a loner.
" +
"He fantasizes for her return,
" +
"dreams about them being together.
" +
"His devotion gains nothing,
" +
"not even a regard from his angel.");
poemDate("12.09.2000");
poemTitle("Lover's meal");
poemContent("Love is like taking a meal,
" +
"the food gets cold over time.
" +
"Even if you reheat it,
" +
"it can never taste like before.
" +
"Foolish man adds in more ingredients,
" +
"attempting all the impossibilities.
" +
"Even if he's going to try for life,
" +
"time shows no sympathy.
" +
"Friends introduce new dishes,
" +
"but he has no budget left.
" +
"Even if someone's going to help him,
" +
"his fear disallows him to accept.
" +
"He sits there staring,
" +
"and the food gets colder.
" +
"Even if a better meal is served,
" +
"he has lost his appetite.
" +
"Sentimental man seeks for the lost,
" +
"even though it can never be found.
" +
"Even if a duplicate can be made,
" +
"the feeling can never be the same again.");
poemDate("13.09.2000");
poemTitle("He's waiting");
poemContent("He lies there waiting,
" +
"spending his time fruitlessly.
" +
"He does nothing but daydreaming,
" +
"because he thinks you'll return one day.
" +
"Don't you remember you have a date with him?
" +
"It's a date without appointment.
" +
"You have to keep him company,
" +
"for he's the one who has given you his heart.
" +
"He ponders over the past,
" +
"recalls your smiles and laughter.
" +
"He wants to see them again,
" +
"when he's holding your hand.
" +
"How can you keep him waiting?
" +
"You know time will distort him.
" +
"He grows weak; he falls sick,
" +
"he disposes of his work and awaits for your arrival.
" +
"He's going to faint soon,
" +
"for his determination is fading.
" +
"He can't go on like this,
" +
"please go back to him quick.");
poemDate("15.09.2000");
poemTitle("Criminal");
poemContent("You make me sound like a sinner,
" +
"you treat me as a loser.
" +
"You want me to act like a fool,
" +
"and now I believe I'm a criminal.
" +
"Judges, members of the jury,
" +
"pardon me for the foolish crimes I have committed.
" +
"Don't send the idiot to the dark room,
" +
"for he doesn't know what he's doing.
" +
"Lawyer, bail me out,
" +
"I'm suffocating in this ghastly cell.
" +
"Isolation and frustration surround me,
" +
"straggling me as hard as they can.
" +
"I hear birds sing,
" +
"but I can't see them;
" +
"I feel bright light,
" +
"but I see only darkness.
" +
"The dripping sound of the raindrops accompanies me,
" +
"while your coldness freezes me.
" +
"I'll rather die than to be locked up,
" +
"but please let me know what's wrong.");
poemDate("18.09.2000");
poemTitle("The love game");
poemContent("Love isn't a game,
" +
"but you have made it seems so.
" +
"You're the player,
" +
"while I'm the cartoon character.
" +
"You make me jump,
" +
"you make me crawl,
" +
"you make me dash,
" +
"and you make me crush.
" +
"You decide on my life,
" +
"you play me hard and choose my path.
" +
"I can't defy, I can't avoid,
" +
"I give you the right.
" +
"Now you choose to quit,
" +
"you leave me motionless.
" +
"I plead for your return,
" +
"but you choose to watch me rot.
" +
"No one can avert love,
" +
"and when it comes it harms.
" +
"Fact has proven right,
" +
"that I'm born to suffer.");
poemDate("18.09.2000");
poemTitle("You've misunderstood");
poemContent("When I tried to take a closer look at you,
" +
"you regarded that I wanted to kiss you.
" +
"You gave me a sharp stare,
" +
"and you thought I wanted to take advantage.
" +
"When I raked up marriage,
" +
"you considered I had the desire to marry you soon.
" +
"You didn't realize I have worries,
" +
"that I wasn't compatible enough for you.
" +
"When I talked about babies,
" +
"you supposed I wanted to make you bear.
" +
"you didn't know I wanted only to play safe,
" +
"in case I might want them when I can afford.
" +
"When I fell in love,
" +
"you gave me a hand and you let go suddenly.
" +
"You assumed I was able to stand by my own,
" +
"and you turned away before I collapsed.
" +
"When you bid me goodbye,
" +
"you believed a kiss would heal my pain.
" +
"You pretended that I was alright,
" +
"when I didn't breathe out a single word.");
poemDate("20.09.2000");
poemTitle("True love");
poemContent("They tell me not to put in too much feeling
" +
"for the fear that you may leave me one day,
" +
"but they don't know,
" +
"the love without deepest love isn't true love.
" +
"When dream becomes reality,
" +
"no one expects it to end early.
" +
"Until it disappears out of a sudden,
" +
"everything seems unrealistic.
" +
"The feeling of the lover near by yet can't get to see her,
" +
"is much more painful than being stabbed by million swords.
" +
"The bitterness grows in the chest,
" +
"that leads to difficulty in breathing.
" +
"The guiltiness for not heeding the advises,
" +
"lies upon the shameful loser.
" +
"Though he's just doing what he has to do,
" +
"because he believes in truthfulness.
" +
"Sincerity can't improve the situation,
" +
"not even devotion can accomplish.
" +
"What's left is going to be lost over times,
" +
"not even can true love escapes.");
poemDate("20.09.2000");
poemTitle("Concede my wish");
poemContent("As your love fades,
" +
"what's left is only remorse,
" +
"and the broken heart of mine,
" +
"which can't be healed.
" +
"When you try to recall,
" +
"the boring romance you're tired of,
" +
"the supposed true love you once appreciated,
" +
"you'll rename it puppy love.
" +
"Someone else who is special may be besides me,
" +
"but your smiles are carved onto my wishful mind,
" +
"what's inside is the feeling of holding your hands,
" +
"and your kiss which landed on my face.
" +
"Nevertheless I'll still be waiting,
" +
"for the day you decide to have someone to love you,
" +
"the sun will finally shine,
" +
"and the flowers dance to their hearts' content.
" +
"When that time comes please let me know,
" +
"I'll try to gather back my courage for you,
" +
"but if I have met with mishap,
" +
"pray for me and admit that you still love me.");
poemDate("20.09.2000");
poemTitle("It has been raining");
poemContent("It has been raining,
" +
"emptiness is occupying my freezing heart.
" +
"The dark sky looks fearful,
" +
"full of dejection and despair.
" +
"But when I look into the mirror,
" +
"I realize it isn't the worst.
" +
"I hear the thunder roar,
" +
"howling out my grief.
" +
"Every time when I close my eyes,
" +
"I feel the sorrows behind my watery eyelids.
" +
"My heart is bouncing,
" +
"wondering when will the river overflow.
" +
"I don't want anyone to see the terror,
" +
"when the horrible disaster strikes.
" +
"Girl, it has been raining,
" +
"but it isn't as much as my tears.");
poemDate("24.09.2000");
poemTitle("Sad Sacrifice");
poemContent("He sadly reflected,
" +
"for the lies he believed.
" +
"Then he realized he was childish,
" +
"to have trusted everyone.
" +
"He had been a fool,
" +
"a sacrifice for love.
" +
"He hated himself,
" +
"for being truthful to her.
" +
"He waited painfully,
" +
"for the empty promises.
" +
"And she in return,
" +
"displayed her selfishness and cruelty.
" +
"He knew he had let everyone down,
" +
"his friends, his teachers, and his dead father.
" +
"He just couldn't believe,
" +
"that he had misjudged a devil.
" +
"All the self-destruction wasn't worthwhile,
" +
"for nothing could touch the heartless soul.
" +
"Then he decided to stop his harassment,
" +
"even though he needed her badly.");
poemDate("26.09.2000");
poemTitle("You're on your own");
poemContent("Girl, don't be proud,
" +
"I just lost my mind.
" +
"Don't say sorry,
" +
"I don't want anything now.
" +
"Just return me my love,
" +
"that you have cheated;
" +
"Take back your promises,
" +
"which are empty.
" +
"You make me believe in myself,
" +
"and I realize I'm nothing great.
" +
"Now I doubt your love;
" +
"I distrust myself.
" +
"You make me a sinner,
" +
"and I have to apologize to my friends.
" +
"Retribution will befall you,
" +
"by then I can't help you.
" +
"Go on flirt with your desperadoes,
" +
"I don't have the right to stop you.
" +
"Go on pretending,
" +
"that you have done right.");
poemDate("26.09.2000");
poemTitle("You have added him sufferings");
poemContent("He has an unforgettable past,
" +
"because he was hurt badly.
" +
"The thousands of efforts he has given,
" +
"cause him millions of depression.
" +
"He tries hard for years,
" +
"and he has almost forsaken the pains.
" +
"But ever since you admit your feelings for him,
" +
"he put aside everything and loves you.
" +
"Being emotional can cause sufferings,
" +
"and being truthful results in one's doom.
" +
"Your heart is a maze,
" +
"that's why he lands in a daze.
" +
"He has queries on his mind,
" +
"all day long he seeks to find.
" +
"You are nothing but a lie,
" +
"an angel who tears life.
" +
"If he ever lets you cry,
" +
"let him be the one to help you dry.
" +
"And if you ever change your mind,
" +
"pray hard that he's still alive.");
poemDate("26.09.2000");
poemTitle("If you ask me...");
poemContent("If you ask me for the length of your friendship blend,
" +
"I'll tell you it's long enough to tie me up for life.
" +
"If you ask me how heavy does your shell weigh,
" +
"I'll tell you it's enough to crash my heart.
" +
"If you ask me how much I love you,
" +
"I'll tell you to count the Yellow River.
" +
"If you ask me how hard have you hurt me,
" +
"I'll tell you it's lighter than how I hurt myself.
" +
"If you ask me how wide is my wound,
" +
"I'll tell you it's large enough for the moon to go through.
" +
"If you ask me how deep is the cut,
" +
"I'll tell you to measure the path we have covered together.
" +
"If you ask me to give you points for your cruelty,
" +
"I'll tell you it's infinity.
" +
"If I ask you how much I am worth to you,
" +
"I can tell from your eyes - nothing.");
poemDate("26.09.2000");
poemTitle("He falls again");
poemContent("Oh heaven,
" +
"set him free please.
" +
"He has had enough of torment,
" +
"for he experiences partings and mourning.
" +
"He walks on aimlessly,
" +
"falling down upon every step he battles on.
" +
"Even though he manages to pull himself up,
" +
"but time has struck him deadly.
" +
"Throughout his life he achieves nothing,
" +
"other than his amazing love stories.
" +
"He recalls the past every moment,
" +
"and now only his bruises remain with him.
" +
"He believes in sincerity,
" +
"and he lives strongly by his principles.
" +
"Yet he underestimates the savagery of mankind,
" +
"where tales of lies seem so real.
" +
"This time he has a great fall,
" +
"he's too tired of picking himself up again.
" +
"He gazes shamefully at his beloved ones,
" +
"and he concedes defeat.");
poemDate("26.09.2000");
poemTitle("Wake up");
poemContent("Come on boy,
" +
"don't be so silly.
" +
"You can't carry on like this,
" +
"for you can't change anything.
" +
"Dumb, she doesn't love you,
" +
"she can't even remember your birthday and telephone number.
" +
"She doesn't like to go out with you,
" +
"she wants to keep a distance away from you.
" +
"Cry? Do you have enough tears?
" +
"How many more hours can you waste?
" +
"She's not touched,
" +
"and she won't be touched.
" +
"She may be a beauty,
" +
"and you like her character very much,
" +
"but she's just too wild,
" +
"she doesn't spare a thought for you.
" +
"Laugh? How long do you want to feign?
" +
"Can't you do it more naturally?
" +
"How can you manage to do it,
" +
"while your tears are falling?");
poemDate("27.09.2000");
poemTitle("Pity the loser");
poemContent("Silence whispers that I'm stupid,
" +
"for I don't know what a girl wants.
" +
"Soon I realize it isn't just care and devotion,
" +
"not the millions of sacrifices.
" +
"I have to doubt your words,
" +
"for everything you do is lowering my intelligence.
" +
"I'm covered by illusions,
" +
"they turn out to be worse than nightmares.
" +
"I'm extremely surprised,
" +
"over the ice-cubes you have thrown at me.
" +
"When you weigh me with your studies,
" +
"you feel I'm much lighter.
" +
"I want to hear you say you love me again,
" +
"and I hope you'll admit it with your heart.
" +
"I want to know whether you'll return to me,
" +
"before I have done things against my conscience.
" +
"Sorry if you are feeling bad,
" +
"I'm guilty to have made you feel guilty.
" +
"When you have overcome your obstacles,
" +
"please remember to help this loser.");
poemDate("28.09.2000");
poemTitle("It isn't the same this time");
poemContent("It's strange,
" +
"when I first go in I pause.
" +
"The feeling is abnormal,
" +
"for I sense something is missing.
" +
"I sit down confusingly,
" +
"the taste of the waiting is different.
" +
"I fake a smile,
" +
"nobody has noticed my puzzling look.
" +
"I sit in front of the mirror,
" +
"the image is in disgust.
" +
"I see the misery face,
" +
"where thousands of questions hide behind.
" +
"Darkness covers my sight,
" +
"not even a million bulbs can brighten it.
" +
"My brain is compressing,
" +
"saturated sorrow is going to explode anytime.
" +
"The hairdresser asks
" +
"for the sweet girl who came with me.
" +
"My eyes damp,
" +
"I, too want to know why she isn't here.");
poemDate("28.09.2000");
poemTitle("Can you hear my agony?");
poemContent("Everything you do is a puzzle,
" +
"I come out with many solutions,
" +
"but some escape with my confidence,
" +
"what remain are thoughts of how you have cheated me.
" +
"Are you still the same girl I used to love?
" +
"Why can't I even hear your voice?
" +
"If you haven't shown me your affection,
" +
"I won't be dreaming of having you with me.
" +
"Raindrops can hit me,
" +
"but the aches are negligible as compared to my sufferings.
" +
"Sweats can cover my body,
" +
"but they can never hide my pains.
" +
"Even if a bucket full of tears is collected,
" +
"you'll pretend they're plain water.
" +
"You just choose to ignore everything,
" +
"placing a smiling mask over my face.
" +
"My cheer can never be the same,
" +
"laughing has become tedious.
" +
"As I open my tired eyes,
" +
"everything turns black and white.");
poemDate("30.09.2000");
poemTitle("If I could speak, would you listen to me?");
poemContent("When the train arrives,
" +
"I can't board it.
" +
"Now I can't even wait,
" +
"I can't make a noise.
" +
"When I carve on the empty seat,
" +
"policeman catches me.
" +
"A mute can't express himself,
" +
"he doesn't have other choice.
" +
"When you watch the depressed man,
" +
"what's actually on your mind?
" +
"A mouthful of apologies,
" +
"and a bottle of guilt?
" +
"What has he done again this time?
" +
"What did he do to lose you?
" +
"He just wants you to give him a chance,
" +
"when your train comes next time.
" +
"He wants to continue his vandalism,
" +
"for his mindful of thoughts.
" +
"He's feeling giddy as he waits,
" +
"you refuse to provide him shelter.");
poemDate("01.10.2000");
poemTitle("I've grown more sensible");
poemContent("Senses flashing into my mind makes me recall,
" +
"all the friends who have been showing me concern,
" +
"and the vigorous sentence to tell me to strive on,
" +
"from the teacher whom I respect greatly.
" +
"Now I know I shouldn't be living just for love,
" +
"I can't make everyone unhappy because of you.
" +
"Friends who enjoy my laughter are equally important,
" +
"and the expectations of the elderly can't be neglected.
" +
"My enthusiasm towards love can never be the same again,
" +
"what's lost is going to vanish forever.
" +
"The devoted soul may still be there,
" +
"but sacrifices are prohibited by the cripple.
" +
"The scenes recapping keep my eyes wet,
" +
"while the ring reminds me not to be naive again.
" +
"I realize who's the greatest liar on earth,
" +
"but I've to blame myself for being stupid.
" +
"I'll try to search for myself without your help,
" +
"since your comforting promise is hollow.
" +
"Finally I know I've to learn,
" +
"setting up my goal poles and shoot between them.");
poemDate("06.10.2000");
poemTitle("The paper covering the gift");
poemContent("He set aside his revision,
" +
"writing down hundreds of romantic phrases.
" +
"He included his sufferings,
" +
"and most importantly his regards for her.
" +
"He dug out his brain cells,
" +
"to add in fantasies that any girl would fancy.
" +
"A swift hesitate ambushed his thoughts,
" +
"before he decided to withdraw his words.
" +
"His loneliness was clear,
" +
"he didn't need to express them again;
" +
"His concerns for his girl was known to everyone,
" +
"it was extra to remind her.
" +
"Finally, he could only come out with
" +
"'Are you happy?'
" +
"All the wishing lay inside,
" +
"and the urge to know her well-being.
" +
"The heart on the cover was ready to break into two,
" +
"a drop of water below represented his tears.
" +
"The poem sat silently on the back of the paper,
" +
"afraid that it might be torn into pieces.");
poemDate("06.10.2000");
poemTitle("The laughter after the fall");
poemContent("When I reach out for the peak,
" +
"you give me a hand and let go suddenly.
" +
"Your dripping tears confuse me,
" +
"for I can't guess your intentions.
" +
"A hundred eagles fail to lift me up,
" +
"not even a parachute can save me.
" +
"A hidden voice tips me off,
" +
"insisting that my savior can only be you or me.
" +
"Then I comprehend why some people smoke,
" +
"while others let alcohol flood their throats;
" +
"They want their grievances to leave with the stinks,
" +
"and the liquid clears their pains.
" +
"I'll keep myself alive in case you might be guilty,
" +
"but I'll never look at things the same again.
" +
"Once being cheated of the phobia can never go,
" +
"despite thousands of opportunities awaiting.
" +
"When you look down and see me laugh,
" +
"your mind is filled with relieves.
" +
"But one day you'll realize,
" +
"the sadist who does this is the greatest actor.");
poemDate("09.10.2000");
poemTitle("A man's agony is a woman's ignorance");
poemContent("When you have done something wrong,
" +
"you can't just say you are stupid or childish,
" +
"don't try to push everything away,
" +
"do forget it and let the poor guy suffer himself.
" +
"It isn't the hatred for your change of heart,
" +
"the disappointment lies in your cruelty.
" +
"A man's integrity's being torn for you,
" +
"yet you leave him in the lurch.
" +
"I can't feel you,
" +
"we're drifting far apart.
" +
"My heart is missing,
" +
"in search of the old romance.
" +
"When you return me the watch,
" +
"I finally realize it's over.
" +
"Everything ends like the junk,
" +
"into the dustbin of the heartbreaking place.
" +
"Next time when you find a better man,
" +
"don't tell him you don't know how to appreciate love,
" +
"please don't give him empty promises,
" +
"and remember not to say sorry.");
poemDate("17.10.2000");
poemTitle("You've gotten what you want");
poemContent("The most cruel way to torture a person:
" +
"put him to heaven before you banish him to hell;
" +
"give him all the cares yet push him away,
" +
"just like what you have done to me.
" +
"When I can't speak to you,
" +
"I turn my emotions into written words.
" +
"The pieces of poetry surface out from the heart,
" +
"would you examine them line by line?
" +
"If I could bring the time back,
" +
"would you choose to abandon me?
" +
"Should I push it thirty more days ahead,
" +
"we wouldn't have started more than friends.
" +
"When you have found a better way of living,
" +
"I can't force you to give up just for me.
" +
"When everything is too late,
" +
"I can only dream about you with me.
" +
"Could it be that you are guilty,
" +
"that's why you hate to see me?
" +
"Regardless of what, I would help you to achieve,
" +
"and I'll try not to appear in front of you.");
poemDate("20.10.2000");
poemTitle("It's still there");
poemContent("She's turning uglier,
" +
"as her heart is so cold that it freezes to steel;
" +
"He's looking worse,
" +
"for the face expression comes from the heart.
" +
"When the burning stars light up,
" +
"there stands a staggering soul,
" +
"as fearing as the dusty cloud,
" +
"and as lonely as the setting sun.
" +
"Kill him! Place him below the flames,
" +
"where he'll enjoy lesser torments.
" +
"Give him the dream,
" +
"where he'll be spared of lonesome.
" +
"Beware of the shattered heart,
" +
"it has the power to make girls hate company;
" +
"It's a supernatural power he possesses;
" +
"a talent blessed by the heaven.
" +
"He seems calm but he isn't;
" +
"it's over but he can't accept it.
" +
"Hatred may fill the air,
" +
"but the love remains.");
poemDate("01.12.2000");
poemTitle("He believed");
poemContent("His sorrows accompany him,
" +
"while his tears drip heartlessly.
" +
"He tries to establish himself a bad reputation,
" +
"hoping she'll return and stop him.
" +
"Each day passes by slowly,
" +
"but she isn't there for him.
" +
"His heart hurts,
" +
"and his brain confuses.
" +
"He jokes and laughs,
" +
"but he isn't happy.
" +
"His friends can't recognize him,
" +
"for he isn't himself anymore.
" +
"He can't believe he's a fool,
" +
"for her cruelty doesn't deserve his devotion.
" +
"He can't believe he's a loser again,
" +
"after he has placed in all his stakes.
" +
"Do you believe in love?
" +
"He did.
" +
"But ever since reality captures his mind,
" +
"he doesn't.");
poemDate("09.12.2000");
poemTitle("There's more to it behind the man");
poemContent("You don't know;
" +
"You didn't ask,
" +
"why would a man continue
" +
"when he knows he's downgrading himself?
" +
"If you were at the backstage
" +
"when you look at the clown,
" +
"you won't be smiling,
" +
"for you know he isn't happy.
" +
"When he's laughing,
" +
"read his eyes for tears;
" +
"If you can't find them,
" +
"you'll know he's more than an actor.
" +
"He has dreams;
" +
"he has fears,
" +
"yet you can't read his heart,
" +
"for you don't care.
" +
"He had fantasy,
" +
"but darkness soon evolved.
" +
"Lightning flash through his sky,
" +
"every moment is horror sight.");
poemDate("13.12.2000");
poemTitle("Guide me to your heart");
poemContent("I cry, I cry,
" +
"because I've lost my way.
" +
"So many trees surrounding me,
" +
"but none look like you.
" +
"I fear, I fear,
" +
"because the night is falling.
" +
"All the cheeky voices surrounding me,
" +
"mocking at my loneliness.
" +
"Miracle, miracle, take me out of this world,
" +
"where lies are not heard,
" +
"where words are true,
" +
"for I shall not live in fear anymore.
" +
"When life is dull and meaningless,
" +
"be sure to enlighten me.
" +
"Give me a kiss
" +
"whereby I shall live in brightness again.");
poemDate("25.01.2001");
poemTitle("Be by my side");
poemContent("The silence's tearing me apart,
" +
"shaking my heart from high to low.
" +
"My tears are hesitating,
" +
"for I can't believe I'm a fool again.
" +
"Your charm which I've tried to avoid,
" +
"is causing me enormous pain.
" +
"How do I ever find a girl like you
" +
"whom I can't take my eyes off?
" +
"You lengthen my laughers,
" +
"but they dispersed off once you're gone.
" +
"My mind sets on waiting,
" +
"for the moment I'll see you again.
" +
"Oh girl,
" +
"you just keep me in panic,
" +
"whereby I forego my vision,
" +
"and fall into deeper concussion.
" +
"Perhaps I live far too carelessly,
" +
"for I fear disappointments.
" +
"But if you were to be by my side,
" +
"I promise you I'll change.");
poemDate("09.03.2001");
poemTitle("It's beyond my control");
poemContent("I can't hide my love,
" +
"I can't save my soul,
" +
"I just can't keep away from you,
" +
"not when my mind is only you.
" +
"Turn me down,
" +
"push me away,
" +
"but you can't change my heart,
" +
"for my love so strong.
" +
"I can't wait to see you again,
" +
"I can't get you out of my mind,
" +
"I can't stand the night
" +
"when your voice is far away.
" +
"If keeping a distance is what you want,
" +
"do it for the sake you'll be happier;
" +
"If the time we had together is only regrets,
" +
"it's only to you but not to me.
" +
"Don't give a thought of sympathy,
" +
"for I don't need your pity.
" +
"I'll live my life aimlessly,
" +
"just the way I used to be.");
poemDate("11.03.2001");
poemTitle("The non-lasting glance");
poemContent("Silence fills the night,
" +
"where peace seems too bright;
" +
"Illusions block the eyes,
" +
"when tears bid goodbye.
" +
"Millions of regrets
" +
"for the romance he fails to grab.
" +
"He falls and he yells,
" +
"failure he'll never forget.
" +
"A dream being distorted,
" +
"leaving his pains hidden.
" +
"His face slacks again,
" +
"when the degeneration begins.
" +
"The tiny heart breaks into a thousand,
" +
"with the cracking sound so magnificent.
" +
"The loner fights to sleep,
" +
"yet sorrow rules his mind deep.
" +
"He prays hard for the next daylight,
" +
"which her charm is still within his sight.
" +
"He discriminates the incoming new start,
" +
"for their worlds are falling far apart.");
poemDate("26.03.2001");
poemTitle("Silent Affliction");
poemContent("I waited and I waited,
" +
"silly thoughts I had in mind.
" +
"Naive mind comes to sense
" +
"when everything can't be the same.
" +
"Love would never return,
" +
"yet lies distort my brain.
" +
"Left my heart alone,
" +
"yearning to see the morning stars.
" +
"Why?
" +
"Something's bothering me.
" +
"Why do tears fill my eyes?
" +
"Why do loneliness conquer my mind?
" +
"I close my lids
" +
"and pretend it's over,
" +
"yet I can't keep her image away
" +
"from appearing in my nightmares.
" +
"There goes the lightning strikes, thunder roars,
" +
"and I wonder if she's in fright now.
" +
"Smiles hide the sinner,
" +
"while curiosity seeks the face behind the mask.");
poemDate("02.05.2001");
poemTitle("Unreachable for you");
poemContent("When you reach the sky,
" +
"teach me how to fly;
" +
"When you freeze the sun,
" +
"never make it melt.
" +
"When you start the rain,
" +
"wash my sorrow away;
" +
"When you host my life,
" +
"pardon me from famine.
" +
"Whatever you want to do,
" +
"no one can stop.
" +
"But before you go,
" +
"please stop my hurt.
" +
"I wonder what will make you stay;
" +
"I wonder where do I stand.
" +
"If heart is going to break,
" +
"I rather not drag.");
poemDate("11.05.2001");
poemTitle("Don't let it end, don't start!");
poemContent("If I can't see you everyday,
" +
"I rather not see you at all;
" +
"If you can't love me forever,
" +
"I rather you not love me even for a second.
" +
"If ending is sadness,
" +
"I rather not begin;
" +
"If finishing is only lonesome,
" +
"stop me from starting.
" +
"The distance we stand is far,
" +
"the broken heart you can't fix.
" +
"Drool on no more,
" +
"for the lonesome so fearful.
" +
"Fly with the cloud,
" +
"to where the wind goes.
" +
"Give me a break
" +
"and drop my tears no more.");
poemDate("11.05.2001");
poemTitle("If only I've woken up earlier");
poemContent("When there's a gap in age,
" +
"and the faces are unseen;
" +
"When mind is naive,
" +
"and the setbacks are troubling,
" +
"I see a hesitation,
" +
"covering my confused mind.
" +
"You've the style,
" +
"which I've longed for;
" +
"You've the kindness
" +
"which I see through your heart.
" +
"But the fear of the failure
" +
"is bugging me days and nights.
" +
"Give me your voice,
" +
"give me your trust,
" +
"and I'll give you my heart
" +
"if you understand what's love.
" +
"But baby,
" +
"give me more time first.
" +
"Yet time has flown,
" +
"words have dried,
" +
"has the feelings gone?
" +
"Sensibility is back,
" +
"and my mind is packed,
" +
"for you leave me no track.");
poemDate("26.05.2001");
poemTitle("Misery of love");
poemContent("I've the feeling of jealousy,
" +
"I've the urge to hug you,
" +
"I avoid you,
" +
"because I'm in love with you.
" +
"The cowardice rules my mind,
" +
"yet it's better this way;
" +
"It isn't worth the risk,
" +
"for I want a good memory left behind.
" +
"Escaping is to deny reality,
" +
"foolish yet useful.
" +
"Memories fade,
" +
"but they don't vanish.
" +
"If you've realized it,
" +
"the anger is not real;
" +
"Sinking in deeper is what I want to stop,
" +
"therefore I've to avoid your beauty.
" +
"See my eyes, read my heart,
" +
"can you sense my love?
" +
"Watch my smile, feel my fear,
" +
"am I just a fool?");
poemDate("22.07.2001");
poemTitle("The love that never fades");
poemContent("He starts his prayers from a free-thinker,
" +
"hoping to stop falling in love.
" +
"He builds a barrier surrounding him,
" +
"as high as the tallest peak he has ever climbed.
" +
"Fighting to sleep,
" +
"yet tears wouldn't dry off,
" +
"for his wandering heart so cold,
" +
"that not a single bird would stay near him.
" +
"Silence paints the night,
" +
"whereby her pictures float in the air.
" +
"Memories saturate the room,
" +
"increasing the ton of sorrow.
" +
"He could no longer deny
" +
"that he still misses her after all these long.
" +
"He couldn't forget her charm,
" +
"which the sight of her pieced him back.
" +
"He couldn't resist fairy,
" +
"he couldn't overcome his feeling.
" +
"He would never fantasize,
" +
"ever since he recognizes fate.");
poemDate("27.07.2001");
poemTitle("You took my heart away");
poemContent("The sun is dull,
" +
"my eyes are blur;
" +
"The tears that break,
" +
"block my view forever.
" +
"The heart that cries,
" +
"the soul that bleeds,
" +
"and the faith that fades,
" +
"for sad is eternity.
" +
"The path is lost,
" +
"the spirit has gone.
" +
"The luck that jeers,
" +
"turns its back at me.
" +
"The scent you left,
" +
"the love I seek,
" +
"the truth that I deny,
" +
"add towards my misery.
" +
"The time had flee,
" +
"before I held you tight.
" +
"If courage was there,
" +
"I'd hold you back.");
poemDate("27.09.2001");
poemTitle("I thought you'd be gone");
poemContent("My stay for the months wasn't worthwhile,
" +
"until I met you.
" +
"And when days passed,
" +
"my possessive mind overruled.
" +
"When the distance was short,
" +
"I would never go near you;
" +
"I wish I could,
" +
"but I couldn't conquer intimidate.
" +
"You gave me my spirit,
" +
"you dragged me back to life.
" +
"Your voice warmed my nights,
" +
"and you gave me an unforgettable day.
" +
"When love was so close,
" +
"and when I felt so confident,
" +
"you looked blindly at me,
" +
"and you would never reply.
" +
"Priority made me lie to myself
" +
"- I thought I could live without you.
" +
"And only when tears drop in endless nights,
" +
"I realize I can't let go.");
poemDate("29.09.2001");
poemTitle("Life's better without me");
poemContent("Down here I sit alone,
" +
"for the next spring,
" +
"where flowers blossom,
" +
"where life is full of hopes.
" +
"So glad that you're not with me,
" +
"because you've a better life.
" +
"I'm rotting each day,
" +
"for the boring life so meaningless.
" +
"But right now I know I'm not alone,
" +
"because someone's here for me.
" +
"As it rains I sing alone,
" +
"because my lonesome would never speak.
" +
"There isn't tear; there isn't warmth,
" +
"as it rains I shiver.
" +
"Hug me deep for my heart so cold,
" +
"kiss me, before emptiness conquers.
" +
"Where words are rare,
" +
"when only silence exists,
" +
"I sing for you,
" +
"I wish for your happiness.");
poemDate("24.12.2001");
poemTitle("White");
poemContent("The route to your heart is full of mysteries,
" +
"hence every step increases the curiosity towards you.
" +
"But falling behind your pace,
" +
"I could no longer reach you.
" +
"The purest heart I've ever seen
" +
"is taking me a ride endlessly,
" +
"to a place called 'miss you',
" +
"with the urge to hug you tight.
" +
"Where heart is hurting,
" +
"where peace is tiny,
" +
"luck would never fall,
" +
"dreams could never be reached.
" +
"Through tears and sorrow,
" +
"I bring your smiles to my sight.
" +
"I take your pictures into my memory,
" +
"I dream of you, I dream of love.
" +
"My soul shall leave without warmth;
" +
"my heart will be left frozen;
" +
"my ashes will disperse into the thin air,
" +
"into faraway land.");
poemDate("02.01.2002");
poemTitle("Measure my love");
poemContent("I saw your fragile heart
" +
"when my past was still dwelling,
" +
"but I'd the urge to help you,
" +
"and I grabbed you tight.
" +
"It's tired to love you,
" +
"for you keep me worried.
" +
"I can't ease my mind,
" +
"every moment you're with me.
" +
"Feel my warmth,
" +
"I'll never leave you freeze,
" +
"at least I'm trying,
" +
"hugging you so hard that I'll never let go.
" +
"I'll never boost my love daily,
" +
"I'll never do like a hypocrite.
" +
"Giving you the best that I can,
" +
"I lay my love for you.
" +
"When you ask me how much I love you,
" +
"I stare at my fingers,
" +
"too lost for words.
" +
"Love - you can't measure it.");
poemDate("04.07.2002");
poemTitle("Lost Memory");
poemContent("Last night I missed you
" +
"And wondered how was your illness
" +
"Every thought hurt my chest
" +
"I don't know how many tears I have shed
" +
"I cried to sleep
" +
"The tears dried on my face cooled the night
" +
"I walked into a dream of endless field
" +
"So many leaves pricked my head
" +
"I leased my memory to the past
" +
"In exchange for a peace of mind
" +
"My head aches each time I try to recall
" +
"I wonder was I happy
" +
"I've forgotten how we used to tease each other
" +
"My mind seems so empty
" +
"Did we enjoy ourselves?
" +
"Had I done something wrong?
" +
"No one seems to know what happened
" +
"Nobody dares to ask
" +
"Before I realise
" +
"It has been buried in the memory lane");
poemDate("15.01.2004");
poemTitle("Believed");
poemContent("Believe
" +
"I never expected but you had believed
" +
"For all I could lighten up, just one day
" +
"I realized how little you had believed me
" +
"You stabbed me a dagger
" +
"And you threatened me not to be sad
" +
"How did you expect me to reply to your piercing words?
" +
"Let my tears do the talking
" +
"My tears dripped like loose tap
" +
"Each drop hit the pillow so hard
" +
"Like a musical instrument
" +
"Following the rhythm of depression
" +
"You called me to expect sounding voice
" +
"But you didn't realize what you did was too hurting
" +
"I spoke my throat full of sorrows
" +
"No word could be released
" +
"I wondered how you had enjoyed with someone you gave so much pain to
" +
"He didn't worth enough for a chance
" +
"You proved me the greatest failure
" +
"I refuse to talk");
poemDate("Monday, February 16, 2004");
poemTitle("I want to speak");
poemContent("I stared at you each time
" +
"The tears on my eyes you didn't notice
" +
"The beauty from your heart seized my sight
" +
"So many delights yet so many pains
" +
"I closed my mouth it wasn't funny
" +
"It was no different from I said I loved you but you didn't believe
" +
"If you felt uncomfortable talking to a mute
" +
"Hadn't you thought he was far worse for unable to express himself?
" +
"I filled my mind full of enquiries
" +
"There were questions which I was afraid to ask
" +
"I didn't know how you would reply
" +
"You were going to hurt me again
" +
"I drew your pictures into my mind every now and then
" +
"They lacked your smiles
" +
"And each time I missed you I wrote them down
" +
"On papers, or into the air
" +
"I wanted to talk
" +
"I wanted to sing my voice
" +
"I wanted to draw your attention
" +
"But when would you believe me?");
poemDate("Wednesday, February 18, 2004");
poemTitle("It doesn't matter");
poemContent("What if I could fetch the stars for you?
" +
"You could never be touched.
" +
"I did my best
" +
"But I have been foolish.
" +
"So what if the whole world feels sorry for me?
" +
"You wouldn't be mine.
" +
"I feel so weak and hurt
" +
"It's none of your business
" +
"So what if you have believed me?
" +
"Yes I'm wrong all these while.
" +
"I don't want to do anything right now
" +
"Because I'm so tired.
" +
"So what if I could see you now?
" +
"You would never glance at me
" +
"I couldn't hug you to feel your love
" +
"I couldn't feel your kiss.
" +
"So what if I could slice my fresh for you?
" +
"You wouldn't give a damn.
" +
"My eyes have been dry
" +
"Because I lose all my tears.");
poemDate("Sunday, February 22, 2004");