I never believed love at first sight, not before I met you.
When his boring college life started, he had been lonely. All along he knew he had been a let down. He hated how others might look at him, a retainer. He knew he had to continue the college life for months before the volleyball tournament ended.
He felt depressed often and his character changed. He feared of nothing in the college. He went to school late and even skipped classes often. He strolled around during lesson time and his face was expressionless no matter how much fun he had with his friends.
His loneliness was driven off in the 2nd week after he met Juliet. He spotted her in canteen and she bewitched him. He saw her during lunch-in hours later and then she went for the year 1 volleyball selection. He couldn’t get her off his mind ever since. That was the day in which he started to believe in “love at first sight”.
Juliet was from a girls’ school. She wasn’t the greatest beauty on earth, but she had “style” which made her look cool. She looked nice with her hairstyle. She’s thin but tall. She was 1cm taller than him, but he could no longer care about what others might look at him in future.
His face was filled with hope once again and he couldn’t stop looking around in college for her everyday. Sometimes he even waited in canteen for hours to try to get to see her. He got her email address and birthday, but he didn’t dare to approach her.
He had a PE lesson that coincides with that of Juliet’s and he didn’t miss more than a lesson. He admired her from a distance and he always tried to do as many pull ups as he could. Others might think that he was trying to show off, but he didn’t care for that was the only way to draw Juliet’s attention.
His friend tried to ask her out on Valentines’ Day but she rejected without giving a reason. She didn’t even try to find out who was the guy. He was depressed. His facial expression was none better than that of a zombie’s.
His teammates tried to make arrangements to help train the newcomers, but they didn’t get many chances. They even sought help from some of the newcomers.
A good chance came by but his intimidation stopped him. In the hall, his teammates would callout his name intentionally and his face would turn red. Even when Juliet was at a close distance, he couldn’t bring up his guts to look at her in case she spotted it. The “training” session didn’t last long.
They went to the nearby shopping centre as usual and the newcomers helped to drag Juliet along. He didn’t dare to sit at her table and the big group of them at different tables didn’t have much to talk about. The atmosphere was tense for him, and both Juliet and he had been the focus of everyone’s attention.
One of his teammates finally thought of an idea and gave him money to “help” to buy drinks. His teammate went over to Juliet’s table to get acquainted and he pretended to pass his teammate the drinks and joined in.
He was so nervous that he didn’t make much noise. Time went by and they decided to go home. He thought Juliet was taking the train and he said that he was taking train when asked. However Juliet went for the bus interchange instead.
Went on the escalator, he watched her from a distance farther and farther away. He knew if he went after her she would know his intention for it would be too obvious. His teammate phoned him when he entered the control station and his urge to see her home saturated his mind but he knew they were already far away.
He got her IRC nick but he didn’t dare to message her. Until one day he couldn’t hold it anymore. They had a good chat and two days later she messaged him when she came online. He was so glad that he even got her new handphone number.
Two days after, he sent her an SMS to ask about her O’level results. She replied him hours later when he was in the cinema with his teammates. He finally had a feeling of being a lucky man. That night, they chatted in IRC again.
The next day he went to the polytechnic with his friend. He tried to make himself think that polytechnic’s life sucks. He wanted so much to change his plan even though it was a “never return” path since he hadn’t caught up with his studies for months.
Juliet called him that night when he was bathing. He gave her his home number and she called him again the same day. It was one of his happiest days ever since he was born. He tried talking her into staying on in the college. He had it in mind that he would change his plan to go to a polytechnic if Juliet stays.
Two days later, she phoned him again and they chatted till morning. Juliet didn’t keep her promise and she put ACJC as her first choice. She phoned him the next night again and she promised to accompany him to register for polytechnic the next morning. Their chat lasted till 6+ in the morning again and she told him to wake her up hours later.
He fell asleep so fast after putting down the phone that he didn’t realize she had sent him an SMS again saying that she couldn’t fall asleep. He woke up in sadness when he saw the message. He had wasted his chance to talk to her more.
He arrived at the meeting place on time and she came soon. That was the first time he saw her in home clothes. She looked innocent with her simple clothes. It was an unforgettable day, for it was the first and last time she went out with him alone. That was also the first time a girl would sacrifice so much time for him.
He was thinking of catching a movie with her after that, but she told him she had a date with her friend to play pool. He accompanied her to Somerset MRT station and they bid goodbye. He sent her an SMS after that but she didn’t reply.
He was worried and he didn’t see her online for the next few days. She didn’t reply his SMS also no matter how many he sent to her. He grew depressed again. He added her nick to his mIRC notify list and he saw her nick online yet not inside the college’s channel.
He finally saw her at the MRT station. She was waiting for her friends and she told him to move on. He had been the greatest dumb on earth that he didn’t stay to accompany her. Even though he knew he would be late, he walked slowly hoping that she would catch up, but his effort lied in vain. He sent her an SMS again but she didn’t reply.
It was on that Saturday morning when he couldn’t wake up for his training. He went online in a different nick and saw Juliet online. He questioned her.
“i just wanna maintain a distance lor..in case u get the wrong idea”
She sounded heartless. He couldn’t hold his tears. She didn’t know she had made him feel more inferior than ever before. He knew he shouldn’t be pestering her anymore. Since that day onwards, he didn’t contact her. He became strange and started his self-destruction again. He stopped joining the college’s channel also.
He couldn’t guess her mind. He didn’t know whether she had ever fallen for him before. He didn’t know what has caused the sudden change in her attitude towards him.
He did more self-reflections. He knew he had given everyone the feeling that he’s a junk. He had been living his days off. He couldn’t give Juliet the secure feeling that a girl would want. He knew he had been the lousiest man on earth.
Before the ending of the first three months, he brought his camera and Juliet’s teammate helped took three of her pictures. Soon, he couldn’t get to see her anymore.
However, he knew his stay was for the tournament and he had to answer to his teammates for his performance in the court. He told himself he would never feel hurt for girls for days again. He told himself that he would forget her.
He concentrated only on volleyball and skipped almost all lessons after the 2nd intake. He spent his time alone inside the hall most of the time. His temper grew so bad that he almost started quarrels with a PE teacher who made him wear the poor quality PE t-shirt when everyone was wearing their secondary school ones. He was rebellious for the first time in his life to a teacher.
After the tournament, he finally had the chance to do what he wants ?think of Juliet. Nothing could stop his tears from falling again. The lies of forgetting her could no longer blindfold his mind. He felt hurt, he felt depressed, and he could no longer pick himself up again.
No matter how many good girls had come across his life he couldn’t stop missing her. He even started to ignore his female IRC chat mates. He became isolated. He spent more time on volleyball and with his teammates. He chatted less in IRC and his channel became a cemetery.
Sometimes, he purposely took buses that would pass by Juliet’s new college, but he had never being lucky before.