Spread the Love – April 2017

While I was struck with extreme bad luck during the beginning of the year due to a few models who had wasted my time, Boon Hui helped me when I was in need of someone to test playing with my new white backdrop. We had a “last minute” shoot and it helped me to test the limitation of my equipment to prepare me for an important shoot with Joy.

After the shoot with Joy, she gave me a good treat. I felt guilty for I was not someone who would appreciate good food and dining at an expensive restaurant was really a waste of money.

There was a volleyball game in NUS new town. Jingjie gave me and others a lift over at Harbourfront Centre after our lunch at MacDonald’s. After that, we went to Tampines and he was the driver who also sent me home. Anyway, Jingjie was the coordinator for the game and it was very kind of him to help to arrange with us even though he was very busy with work.

My younger brother arranged for a Mother’s Day dinner. He managed to get discount through an application and we got to enjoy expensive Indonesian food at low price at the new Tanjong Pagar Centre.

I went over to Marsiling twice to help to take care of Luckie who had his third slip disc problem. During the first stay, my elder brother helped me to fix the tablet he had passed to me much earlier – the WiFi was down after doing windows update. During the second trip, he tried to fix my trolley’s wheels but realised the ball-bearings were spoiled. Then, he found out the model number so that I could get new pieces online.

Spread the Love – February 2017

My volunteers gang had a gathering during February thanks to Huiting’s recommendation of a vegetarian restaurant at Bugis.

Mingfa invited the volleyball gang down to Huayi Secondary for volleyball but only Bernard and I were available. Bernard arranged to meet me at Jurong East MRT to go down together. After that, he accompanied me for lunch.

As my beauty dish’s honeycomb grid was a little bended, I decided to add some sponge to the bag in case I accidentally got it knocked again. My mum helped me to cut and stick some sponge together.

Year 2016 – The Pressure

– Family
There was a dramatic change in my family as my elder brother and his wife moved to their new BTO flat at Marsiling, together with Luckie. From a badly clustered house to a house with only three people left, the sound of silence filled the atmosphere most of the time. There used to be a lot of unhappiness for everyone had very different lifestyle that we wanted to live in. The limited space had always been causing frustration and thus I could firmly testify against those rich hypocrites who were running the country akin to North Korea. I was probably too used to hearing complaint from my younger brother about how the couple forgot to switch off the toilet’s light and my mum who would bottom up every matter to grumble only in front of my younger brother and I.

With the reduction of conflicts, loneliness began taking over. I knew well even with the very limited help in finance in the past, my elder brother actually contributed in other ways. I never wanted to part with my elder brother but I knew it was inevitable. It was simply impossible for them to get a house within or near the CBD area – apart from having limited space for new flats, the price would be scary. Sooner or later, we had to move far away from the city.

I helped out a lot in packing up the remaining stuff to bring over to my brother’s new place. It took quite a number of trips to empty the room they used to stay in, even though my mum quickly turned the room almost as messy as before. It was not because she wanted to keep a memory of my elder brother by creating similar mess, but because she was simply a collector of everything. Somehow, everything could somehow turn useful one day for the poor, maybe no in near future.

Apart from the sadness from the moving out of my elder brother, Luckie’s absence in the house was a big blow to me. I was the one who used to sleep with him when he first joined my family. Since I worked from home, I was the one who had spent the most time with him. It was also because of him, I always hesitated to leave the house since he had fear in loneliness. I stopped my occasion afternoon jog to places like Marina Barrage and Henderson Waves mainly because of him.

The most dramatic thing happened soon after they moved out as Luckie got his first slip disc problem. His lower back caused his legs to become strengthless. After his operation, I went over to take care of him during weekdays since both my elder brother and sister-in-law had to work. Seeing Luckie in such sorry state hurt me a lot. Before he was fully recovered, he had a second slip disc that caused him greater pain than ever. Just as I thought Luckie would be out of my life, the couple spent another 10 grands to save him. I did my part by going over to take care of Luckie during weekdays.

– Friends
The closest friend I had was as usual, Gilbert. He helped me in everything without expecting anything in return – not that I was able to help him much in anything. Apart from him and my volleyball friends, I hardly had many chances to meet up with old friends. I also made many new friends through photography even though it was back to business that not everyone would keep in touch with me after they had gotten what they wanted.

– Relationship
In the third quarter of the year, my relationship ended. She was the most intelligent girl I had ever being with but we had very different priorities in life. She was more into the YOLO lifestyle while I was still struggling with my own life to make ends meet. There were also some differences that we had always struggled with, such as I felt obligated to stay over at my elder brother’s place to look after Luckie but she was fed up for she knew I was unable to work over there without even a proper table. I always felt bad for my mum’s attitude towards her even though she had always been showing respect and offering helps. Unfortunately, it was a bad start after all and my mum was more inflexible than me. I was glad both of us had tried very hard after all. I blamed myself for I was unable to give her a better life – not that I was able to.

– Health
Cough caught up with me for months and I knew well I did not recover because of the food I had been eating – my mum loved spicy food and she would deny cooking them. As for my injuries, my ex-girlfriend helped a lot. After her mum brought me to a Chinese doctor, my back injury improved a lot because it did not ache very regularly. Since she had learned some massages on the acupuncture points, she also improved the conditions of my other injuries, such as my right shoulder. Towards the end of the end, I suffered from a new injury on my left shoulder after carrying the bulky and heavy camera equipment for too long – the nerve was pressed too much that I felt weakness on my left arm.

– Finance
The tuition agency business dropped tremendously since both of my main coordinators were too busy with their lives. One of them had too much family issues to handle while another could buy a condominium just by giving tuition lessons instead. They were both not obligated to spend their time to help me in my business and thus I was more than happy that they still spent some time whenever possible to take up some assignments. Whereas for the rest of the coordinators, they were busy with their lives too.

For my photography services, I was still unable to make any breakthrough as there was a huge competition from photographers who undercutted the market while most enquiries were from clients with low budget. I knew the standard of my work and the market rates, and my strong principle insisted me not to lower down my value or further harm the photography market.

Spread the Love – December 2016

I had a photoshoot with Kelly Lim. Even though the shoot was focusing on her tattoos, she had to show quite some amount of skin. It was the trust that I appreciated most.

For my photoshoot with Prudential, Leslie Eng helped me a lot. He even gave me a lift to and fro the location.

For the photoshoot with Martina, I received help from my new assistant – Yee Wei. She was quiet but helpful.

Gilbert took a day off from work to accompany me for a shoot. Besides being an escort, he did his part as an assistant, enduring some craps together.

I met up with Zaki and he treated me to a 3D movie – Rogue One. I helped him to collect his Wifi-Baby while he was away from Singapore. I met up with him again to pass him the device when he returned. He treated me to dessert – my favourite ice jelly.

During my second meet-up with Zaki, Sirachar dropped by to have a chat with me, which was rather rare for a net friend to make the effort.

Yaozhong insisted to treat me to a super belated birthday lunch. We met up at Chinatown for Dim Sum. He also accompanied me to recce LePark for my next shoot.

Angela Ni took a day off her packed schedule to have a shoot with me. She went from the East to North of Singapore for Koreen who was kind enough to do the makeup and hairstyling for her.

For the Christmas Gathering with my voluntary work friends, Yonghao and his family kindly hosted us. Yonghao cooked specially for us. Some of them also brought food and drinks along. Nancy hosted us for the second round of gathering at her gorgeous place and her fiance gladly welcomed us although we would be disturbing him from his rest. Nancy stunned us with the impromptu supper that she was able to dig out from her kitchen. Jiayu gave me a lift home.

Sam from Manda fixed my Cononmark B4. He also shared a lot of things with me.

Gilbert picked me up for our swim to use our Active SG accounts so that the remaining free value would be brought forward to the next year. He was the driver for the evening, for our dinner and sending me home.

After attending Jake’s son’s baby shower with my mum, his mum and her ex-classmate went to Waterway Point with us and treated us to drinks at Yakun Kaya Toast.

Spread the Love – September 2016

The month began with the resuming of my reservist. I was thankful of the great people who had accompanied me through the depressing period. They talked rot and kept me entertained. The drivers, Melvin, Fabian and Kenneth did us favours by ferrying us around.

I had not one but three photoshoot sessions with Ao Xuan to utilise her holidays. Although she sounded super laid back and lazy, she kept her promises despite having obstacles like rain. The first shoot was a lifestyle shoot done at Boat Quay. The second one was a studio kind of fashion shoot using Tze Khit’s gym and finally, a travel blog style of shoot to complete the entire Southern Ridges. It probably took her great effort to find out about me in order to trust me completely to hang out with me alone. (updates: she showed her princess-like attitude later)

Jake was finally able to meet up with me and he gave me a dinner treat. As usual, he was sharing things with me to try to help me while I was already too bored of updating him on my slow progress in life.

One of the luckiest things that had happened in my photography journey was the meeting of good people. Even people of higher status in life had showered me with love. Angie Mui, the woman I looked up to and someone who was busy in her passion, contacted me just to inform me that the photographs that I had taken for her would be released on the October 2016 issue of Expat Living magazine. Little kind gestures and lots of appreciation from her made me feel great.

Yonghao organised a mini hiking session from Harbourfront MRT to Henderson Waves. After that, we made a delivery of fruits donated by a nearby stall to the free chefs at Bukit Merah where they hosted free dinner for residents on every Sunday evening.

Spread the Love – August 2016

My mum noticed that I had many photography equipment lying around and she packed some space at the shelf previously used to put Luckie’s stuff for me to store things.

Gilbert had a free movie ticket as one of his colleagues fell sick and could not go. He even picked me up to go over to Lido together. I stopped him from sending me home after that and I actually made it home earlier than him. It would take him double the time if he were to give me a lift home.

During the re-shoot with Angie at her place, she cooked dinner for both her new social media manager, Mary, and me. It was great to be given a treat by someone of a high status who had cooked personally for us. In fact, Angie had arranged the shoot such that I would gain more exposure for Mary would be capturing the behind-the-scene photographs – if Mary were to use them on her publication.

Weitat arranged around three sessions of volleyball games at Yusof Ishak Secondary School and sent me home twice. During the last session, we had dinner at Clementi and I was able to go home by myself since the coffee shop was quite near to the train station. Alas, he was very concerned if I could catch the last train and I felt very touched. Alas, I could finally feel less guilty by not troubling him. After one of the games, our favourite auntie footed the bill for our supper at a coffee shop in Bukit Gombak, which made me feel very bad since there were quite a number of us. Jingjie bought many bottles of greentea for one of the sessions and shared with us generously.

As I was asking my elder brother about using HDMI cable to replace VGA cable for my computer, he told me he had a spare one. When he came back to my house, he actually remembered bringing it along.

My hairdresser endured another last-minute booking from me as I was about to go for reservist. As usual, she was not pissed off. Anyway, she charged me the same price since twenty years ago and she actually needed not take my business.

During reservist, the drivers Fabian, Melvin and Kenneth gave us free rides that had reduced the amount of time and energy used in travelling. I made a new friend, Teck Hui, a social worker, who gave me a treat on the second day.

Spread the Love – July 2016

Letian organised a baby shower his newborn and invited Tze Khit, Daoxiong and I. After that, Tze Khit gave me a lift to the nearest MRT even though he was running late for his appointment.

Gilbert brought me to the Fitness First gym at 100AM again. He managed to push me to do some real workout with the gym equipment and then a swim at the pool.

Yaozhong spent quite some time to go through computer’s component at Sim Lim Square, creating a shopping list for my new system. Not every friend would spend the effort and time when he was busy with his life.

I had a photoshoot with Jolene at Gold’s Gym The Strategy. I was glad that Bobby had suggested the outlet or otherwise, I might have used one of the two outlets in Tanjong Pagar, which was much smaller and the result would not be so good. Jolene was one of the best models I had worked with in terms of her attitude and intelligent. I was mesmerized by her appreciation for every single thing I did and said.

Weitat organised three volleyball games at Yusof Ishak Secondary School. Even though he had grumbled about the tedious job, he sacrificed himself, knowing nobody else could do better than him due to his connection with all the small groups of players. For the first game, Weitat had to rush off immediately as he had a plane to catch and Jingjie gave me a lift at Clementi MRT station after our supper. I was glad that he had opened out and shared some of his troubles with me. However, I had to rush off to catch my last train and thus could not accompany him longer at the car park to chat. Anyway, “black bean” uncle and auntie gave us a treat for the drinks again. For the next two volleyball games, Weitat gave me a lift home as usual and I didn’t stop him for the last trains were probably gone.

After Shuh broke up with me, Olivia and Stephanie gave me some cooling time before contacting me about a week later to show me concern. It was very sweet of them.

Justine was another sweet angel who had been texting me to show her concern after I posted any new Facebook status. She could be blunt and fierce, but she always spoke with a kind intention.

I visited Wanling at her place and she cooked lunch for both of us. Candy gave me a lift to the MRT station in the evening. A week later, Gilbert and I went over as well and we had a more splendid dinner.

Spread the Love – May 2016

During the interior shoot with Rashi, her mum served me with treats. It was a very kind gesture.

I had a portrait shoot session with Marjorie and I was glad that she trusted me with the planning and she was even generous enough to engage a professional hair and makeup artist as well. I appreciated such clients for their generosity and their drive to get better photographs.

When my sister-in-law informed us of Luckie’s second operation within less than two months for his second slip disc problem, I thought she was joking. Since they had already poured in 10 grand of fund for his first surgery, I did not expect them to save him for the second time. They were actually planning to have a baby this year but they gave up since their saving was drained. Some people would say that giving birth in Singapore was not expensive but they did not factor in many small details. Most importantly, if you were to give birth to a child and not able to supply him/her with the necessities to equip them for the future, I would rather you give up the thought of having a baby just for the sake of having one.

I met my best client ever. She was Angie who helped people to design picture frames that fit the interior. Her clients consisted of many expats and she was definitely very wealthy. She was elegant, energetic, inspiring, kind, generous, appreciating and helpful. During my first shoot with her, she suddenly enlightened me on a wrong use of word for one of my lengthy worded portrait photoshoot albums. I supposed she had gone through my entire website and she told me she appreciated my writing and I supposed she could tell my sincerity from my writing.

My volleyball gang and I had a beach volleyball outing on one of the Sundays and Tze Khit was finally able to join us. He drove over to my place to pick me up and thus saving me a lot of trouble even though Weitat and Jingjie would definitely try to pick me up near Vivocity as well. I was still owing lots of conveniency to the drivers at this point of time and at times, I felt useless.

Year 2015 – On the Verge of Breaking Down

Relationship

The most significant changes of the year was the removal of my “single” status. I was never ready to be grounded because reality was cruel and that money was as important as oxygen in Singapore; I didn’t want to take up responsibility that I couldn’t shoulder. Without money, I didn’t have time. For the past countless number of years, I had been alone not because I hadn’t met any nice girl, but because I wasn’t ready and thus didn’t take any action. In year 2015, while career was still vague, I still wasn’t ready yet.

As a photographer, I had countless interaction with pretty and hot girls. Most people would probably think that I was a typical superficial guy who would only go for “super model” type of girls with hourglass figure and flawless looks. Looks would fade but every aspect I loved about her would stay. She wasn’t my ideal type of girl by looks for I had always favoured the athletic build or “SYT” types of girls but her intelligence proved to be more tempting. Nobody could understand me more than her, although nothing and no one was perfect. She had also showed her thoughtfulness and tolerance towards me. Our communication was great and it was rare for anyone to achieve that with me. She had been my personal doctor and English tutor, displaying her excessive talents and appreciation for her imperfect boyfriend.

The biggest problem was that she was extremely clingy, which I liked, yet couldn’t afford to enjoy due to work. My mum often acted as if I was jobless, in fact, she treated any job without CPF contribution from a boss not a job. Therefore, the amount of time I had to spend on the two women was really killing me and sometimes I wished I could just give up on everything and laze around at home just to entertain both of them. There was a few times we got to meet each other for seven days straight. She was also a superwoman who could multitask and text me regularly. Work got piled up as my production rate declined badly. I couldn’t do some of my internet marketing work while I was forced to delay some essential tasks, such as posting my work within the golden hours. My private photographs taken with friends during outing would be delayed for many months before I could squeeze some time to work on them. Whenever she behaved like a little girl while showing her appreciation to me for doing some things, I felt more pressurized than ever for she was unintentionally expecting me to do even more when I had already pushed myself to the limit. Her optimism was a double edged sword for the positiveness would influence me; however, she took things far too easily, which differed from my style of doing things.

The journey to adapt to each other’s flaws proceeded beyond the end of the year.

Family

I continued to be the free receptionist of the family since I was at home most of the time. Everyone, except my mum, had been purchasing items online and the delivery-men would trigger the dogs’ (Luckie and the neighbour’s crazy dog) barking often. Salesmen, surveyors, flyer distributors and retired neighbours were culprits too. No matter how much you loved a dog, sudden loud barks would definitely make you “jump”. I was also abused by telephone calls from weird friends of my family even though everyone already had a mobile phone to attend to their friends. Luckie continued to bother me by waking me up with his barking and then pestering me either for food or to bring him down for a walk. My only break-time was when my elder brother reached home and until my sister-in-law went to sleep – Luckie would be locked out of the bedroom, which finally saw a change for the later half of the year. My mum would even call me just to check the location of anyone or if she had forgotten to switch any appliance off. Very often, she would also turn back to the gate after leaving home to ask me to pass her her forgotten items like mobile phone or keys. Instead of calling my mum directly, my elder brother would sometimes text me to tell my mum when he wasn’t coming home for dinner. Despite my mum would always go to my younger brother to seek help, nobody realised I was the one who had spent most time entertaining her since my elder brother would be inside the room whenever he was at home while my younger brother was not at home most of the time and slept before my mum got home from work. I was the one who had to listen to her grandma stories multiple times because she would tell me directly, loud over the phone to her many friends and then to my siblings. I even had to answer to my mum over any new or misplaced item in the house since I was home most of the time and she expected everyone to notify me everything. The list of problems was too long to be remembered. The perfect job of working from home was soiled badly, affecting the progress of my work.

The harmony was shaken a few times throughout the year in the low income family, having too many people squeezing inside a small house of two bedrooms. The biggest argument was about fairness. We spoke up our minds and finally, around five years since Luckie joined our family, my elder brother started allowing him to sleep inside the bedroom instead of bothering me at night when I was working.

My younger brother had his own way of pampering my mum that I totally couldn’t agree on, because it caused my mum to be extremely over relying on us while he wasn’t at home most of the time. My mum was often simply behaving like a kid and thus it was definitely more challenging. Being filial didn’t have to be overdone, even though most people would agree to over-pampering her since they didn’t know the full scenario. I was the quiet observer in my house who stayed at home most of the time and nobody knew what was going on better than me. I knew there should be a limit to everything and besides, I had my own limit too. To put it in simple words, I wasn’t as capable as my younger brother in term of money-making and I really sucked at it.

Friends

I owed a lot to Gilbert. He appeared most of the time in my monthly hero list. Often, I felt stressed for I knew I could never help him as much as how he had helped me, including all the small kind gestures.

The most depressing thing was when I tried to get back the money I lent to my old buddy years ago for his marriage, he suggested paying me back through installment but didn’t even make the first payment. I often recalled that time when he promised me to return me around two months once he received his salary, it dragged on for countless years without receiving any cent from him while his son was already three years old. The most ridiculous fact was I was probably the lowest income earner in our group of friends and I was the only one who lent him a hand. I felt betrayed and it caused me sleepless nights. I learned to be more careful with whom to help in future.

I made new friends through photography but unfortunately, I didn’t have time to meet up with most of my old friends. It was such a pity to drift away from friends who had been through a lot with me in the past. There were only a few volleyball games and thus I could only meet up with the guys once every few months.

Work

My tuition agency was giving me more headache than ever. Apart from the daily chores, I also had to build up on security for the website. It was endless trouble that most people wouldn’t know the effort and doing things behind the scene was making me feel helpless and unappreciated. The problem was that I could see many things had to be done but it was going to be a hell lots of work. All the automation and information would require time to work on, and yet without doing them, I would be doing some same boring stuff often. To sum up, the effort and time I had spent on the business overwhelmed the revenue. Eventually, it was years of effort that I couldn’t give up.

There was some slight improvement in my photography work but it didn’t make much difference though. The fund generated was not even sufficient to cover up the cost of buying the equipment. I couldn’t take up too many projects for the time I had to spend on post-production was too much. I spent more time on marketing than the actual shootings. Although I did meet many kind clients and nice models, I had also encountered many time-wasters online, in fact, more of the latter.

Fallback in Photography

I got badly slashed on the route to expand my photography portfolio when one of my younger brother’s friends showed her true colours. During the early days of my photography journey, she volunteered to collaborate with me for a couple shoot with her then boyfriend. As she was an educator and they were together for quite long, I didn’t anticipate any problem. I spent weeks to do professional post-processing work for the album and gave her ridiculously large amount of photos that would cost over three grands for the standard. Obviously, in the name of building a portfolio for couple shoot, it benefited the couple much more.

Unfortunately, they broke up a couple of years later and she asked me to remove the photos entirely because it would somehow hurt her whenever she got to see them, like as if she would even visit my portfolio. I explained to her professionally, including the fact that male and female models who didn’t know each other would take up couple shoot projects together. She probably knew the facts that I had the copyrights over the photos even though I didn’t raise the point, and she resorted in using bitchy lines to try to insult my professionalism. She was so disgusting that I could feel the chill deep inside my bones that I decided to take down the photos because having a bitch inside my portfolio would tarnish my reputation – not because I was afraid of putting my younger brother in a difficult position or what.

Alas, she got what she wanted, from the start, a free professional couple shoot which many young couple were dying for and yet couldn’t afford, and eventually, the removal of the professional work when she no longer thought they were useful to her. However, this spoiled brat had also displayed her true self – someone who could be very nice to friends during good days but could do anything to them if they were to go against her childish demands, especially during bad days.

It was a gigantic damage to me because the shoot covered three locations and I had been trying to do photoshoot in different parts of Singapore to add to my list of beautiful places in Singapore. I could persuade my clients to shoot at the same locations but every shoot would occupy weeks of my time and I could only take up a few shoots per month.

Another hurtful thing was some friends took pity of the bitch just because she broke up with her boyfriend, likely due to having different directions in life and definitely not due to any unfaithfulness. None had considered the effort and time I had put in for the entire album of over 70 professionally fully edited photos for the couple who didn’t have professional hairstyling and makeup on when the gentleman had quite bad complexion. The travelling around with the heavy photography equipment and the weeks of frustrating effort to produce the final work were taken granted for. Even the lady who had insisted me in doing commercial standard of editing photos was soft on the bitch. Even though at this point of time, my equipment and skill in photography had already far exceeded the quality of that album, the master pieces of work were already better than most of the outdoor pre-wedding shoot albums I saw in Facebook.

Finance

Despite doing freelance photography, the income generated from the shoots was entirely spent on equipment upgrades and replacement. My main income source was from the tuition agency, which could hardly cover my monthly expenditure. Dating put further pressure on me even though my girlfriend wasn’t the type of girl who would demand good food and branded stuff. From a near zero spending staying at home to having to spend for two people made a very big difference.

My younger brother unintentionally placed huge burden and pressure on me since years ago by upping the sum of contribution to the household. I had to turn down wedding invitations and I didn’t even want to renew the ridiculously expensive Singapore passport. Years of having extremely low income together with the high expenses was a torment to my brain. The most ridiculous thing was that my monthly contribution to the family and mum was a few times higher than the combination of my elder brother and his wife’s, while their combined income was a few times higher than mine. Their reason was they had to save up for their new house. Nobody had probably given a thought that I had to save up for marriage and to get myself a house, which I was dying for, in near future as well.

While my mum’s fiance health was extremely good with the extra contribution from my younger brother, nobody seemed to know what she had been spending the money on other than lottery. Often, when I came to know that she had bought useless things after being conned by strangers or friends, I would feel very upset because I couldn’t even bear to pay for some essential things for myself; even when I had to carry 18 kilograms of bulky equipment out for work, I would rather risk injuring or over-exhausting myself than to spend money on cab.

I didn’t know how I managed to survive as there were months that I had to “eat into” my saving.

Volleyball

Weitat organised and paid for using the indoor court at the OCBC Arena a few times. However, my shoulder and feet injuries (could be plantar fasciitis) made me a cripple during my last two games with them. It was terrible to feel the pain before I could even take off to do spiking. I couldn’t jump to my usual height and even if I could reach the peak, my shoulder injury forbid me from doing the swing to hit the ball. It was pretty useless to explain about my conditions when everything I said was treated as an excuse, or at least I didn’t appreciate much of the sarcasm.

Alas, I was also quite unlucky that I was always placed in the same team as one of the most competitive and inconsiderate guys. He played as the setter most of the time and I didn’t get to spike even when I was playing as the main spiker. When I was lucky, he had no choice but to set the ball to me, which happened at most twice during every set of game out of 25 points. Since it was a “no choice” situation, the ball was always delivered badly while I had already given up and thus unprepared. Playing volleyball under such situation killed my confidence. Besides, he was quite a show-off and decided to waste lots of opportunities by dropping the second ball over, as if he had a high scoring rate. Of course, I didn’t voice out since I didn’t want to make anyone feel stress or awkward over such leisure games. I hated being there just to make up the number although my main motive was to spend time with them.

Health

I got seriously ill for only a couple of times, which was much better compared to the previous years. However, more injuries plagued me as it further affected my mood for the worse. My right shoulder and feet injuries were the main devils while my girlfriend was able to reduce the pain of my back injury with her skill learned from a Taiwanese physician. She also brought me to a Chinese physician at Ang Mo Kio who further eased the pain caused by my back injury. I felt weak as all the injuries restricted my freedom of movements.

2015 was certainly one of the worst years ever. I was mentally stabbed and robbed of my calmness and patience. There were many lessons to learn from and the most important thing was become stronger and not give in to shit.

Spread the Love – May 2015

When Gilbert knew about my plan to take Singapore scenery photos for my website, he suggested to start it when he was owning a car. He planned the destinations and routes, did the hard work (driving) and did not even care about petrol fee. During the trip, he was very patient with me taking my time to snap some shots. He also knew about my pathetic income for the previous year and thus even tried hard to treat me to meals.

Weitat organised another dinner gathering even though a few people dropped out last minute. It was normal to “fight over” the bill with the O-Dao uncle and auntie over dinner. However, since Weitat did not consult the few of us (the younger ones) beforehand, he paid for their parts of the bill himself instead of splitting with us.