Year 2009 – Year of Hidden Fuel

Year 2009 was one of the busiest years in my life, having to cope with both work and studies, let alone my dreams. Time management was never my forte. I knew well I could never excel in any of them given the time restriction, but I had to persist on in order to get my degree at least.

Jingkun was the person who urged me to further my studies. I was never keen in continuing with my studies anymore for I was more or less set for pursuing a different career, not under the corporate ladder. Since my diploma was related, I was able to skip two years of the course to proceed to the third year directly, and that was the reason I was willing to take it up.

I got to know more cute students in ITE Clementi and I became closer to more of my colleagues, whom I regarded them as life saviours, building paths for the future. Nevertheless, my frustration to leave the workplace despite all the good elements was too strong that I struggled to stay more for the money. Sometimes, I hated myself for being a money slave. I was all set to leave by the end of the year but the kindest boss in the world needed my help due to shortage of staffs, I staggered my way towards the next couple of months of the new year. After more than two years of struggle, I finally managed to enjoy a full week of holidays without much worries regarding work.

Irwin’s idea to start a small business with me was put on hold due to our tight schedules. He came back to Singapore a few times but there were a couple of times he flew off before we could even meet up. The few times we met up were either to cheer each other up or together with other people.

Due to the time constraint, I was strayed badly away from my friends. No gathering was organised by me and I had to turn down some outings as well. I did not even go out with my buddies, Gilbert and Peh Kian wee anymore. I even missed sending greeting to some of my friends on their birthdays, putting a pause to my yearly initiative to do my part to make them slightly happier.

Family’s relationship was stable enough. I had a dispute with my elder brother’s girlfriend once, which made the entire family, including relatives, predict the future; I was sad. One major problem was regarding money, which my mum had been pouring into my ears indirectly every now and then. The bills of the family were gigantic and I was disgusted because it was crap, knowing there was so much we could do to reduce it. The big fish tank besides my work station and two new birds owned by my elder brother never failed to irritate me, especially after midnight. Upon finishing my studies, I was glad that I could spend more time with my younger brother, at the expense of stalling of work.

Financial was stable since I did not quit my job. Apart from paying the extreme high school fee, I spent more than ever on food during lunch with colleagues. Going out with family often burned my pockets. I tried to save as much as possible so that I could go jobless for months after quitting my job.

Relationship was of ups and downs. I got together with a very good girl but communication was a barrier somehow and. Then I tried to be a saint and sank into a pool of acidic love unprepared. I looked back and realised I could have written a non-friction love story that could strike the entire Singapore; it was all typed out but I had no intention to expose lies since there was no hatred for all the cruelty done to me. Somehow, my perception for love was changed, to an unknown extent, and my enthusiastic to help lost sheep was massacred. It was a good experience to expose myself to the ugly side of the world. The resistance for relationship was stronger than ever.

Health was worse than ever. Moments of sadness brought my body down. Apart from the usual sore throat, cough and flu, the Chinese physician saw a problem with my stomach, which was causing me suffering after each meal if I did not rest enough before walking.

My dreams to start my websites were never near finishing lines. The fuel within me was ready to heat up but I could never restore my energy.

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Weird Lunching Team

On Tuesday morning when I reached my desk, I saw the driving basic theory book. Kevin remembered it well and spent extra efforts to even place it there, which made me very touched.

It was not an easy morning when there was invigilation to do, especially having to arrange the messed up tables and seats in the normal classroom. Luckily, I was seeing my favourite class.

I had one of the weirdest lunching team. Since Mei Hoe had work to do, Vivian joined Daniel and I at the “Dead end”. I took a plate of wantan mee while both of them had fish soup. The stall was ridiculous to charge Daniel an extra forty cents for changing the noodle to rice, but Daniel claimed that the bowl of soup had more ingredients.

We had half an hour lunch, one of the fastest ever. After sending Vivian back, I accompanied Daniel to IMM’s Giants to get apples. I wanted to get some for Mei Hoe but the expensive and big ones did not have very good skin. After choosing for very long, I gave up.

I was studying for my driving test all the way inside the car on both trips. However, on the returning trip, I almost dozed off completely a couple of times.

I stayed for longer than usual again in the late afternoon before walking alone to the MRT station. I went to Long John Silver’s at Plaza Singapura for dinner and Stephen joined me after that. We moved to The Cathay’s Starbucks to meet up with Soon Siong and later, we did some testing and I was quite amazed by both the programmers’ work. Andy did not go down due to work. We stayed until around 10.30pm before we called it a day.

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Long Hours of Meeting

I managed to pull through my Sunday outside when I was not feeling well. The usual weekend burnt was back again for my studies.

As Soon Siong had predicted, the meeting would drag for an hour before everyone was present. We met up at the usual place, at The Cathay Starbucks, but the seats with power source were all taken up and the guests did not seem to be leaving after standing there together with Soon Siong for nearly forty-five minutes. A group of youngsters were playing Dota while another ang moh lady occupied two tables with five chairs, and she reminded me of those Dracula shows in her red and curly hair.

We moved to SMU where Jeremy met up with us. Jeremy and I formed a recce team in search of a better place. We shifted to the accountancy’s study table to realize that there was no Wireless@SG connection. After wasting so much time, we set off for early dinner at the Kopi Tiam across the road after some discussion. I had a big plate of char siew rice, which was very rare, yet I was not full after finishing the entire plate. It was probably due to the bad diarrhoea the night before. In fact, I was feeling very weak, moreover, with the muscle aches from the continuous days of sports for the past few days.

We moved to the first level of SMU after dining. I bought a cup of soya bean drink and Jeremy soon admitted that he could not withstand the heat. We decided to move to some café instead of going down to the SMU’s basement that was secluded from the free internet access.

Our first station at the Coffee Bean café was a disappointment with the number of students occupying the tables. After that, we decided to try our luck back to our usual meeting place again. We split into two tables until the sofa seats were empty, and we finally merged together as a team. I was exhausted by the. This day, Andy seemed to have come to enlightenment that he managed to spot some major flaws, which we could have improved a lot. I was very glad that he had pointed them out, but at the same time, I was very disappointed with the continuous changes of our project game play. It had been months and we had been making major changes for almost every meeting. We were too short of time.

I tried to read up about the sockets notes given by Jingkun in my tiredness and discomfort body, and it spelled only exhaustion. I had been missing Java programming for years and the basics were enough to give me problems.

The meeting lasted until 10.30pm and the preparation for the next day was a phobia and caused frustration.

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Thrice a Week

Last week was the rarest week of the year. I played volleyball thrice in a week alone. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday marked the history ever since I started working in my current job almost two years ago.

I did not play as good as in the past anymore.

On Thursday, I stayed alone inside the office until six plus. The effort to start setting up the poles and net boiled me up so much when one of the Pilipino guys started bringing his laptop out to pretend busy. The group of them was good players but certainly freeloaders. The game was full of ups and downs, but I was glad enough to amaze myself a couple of times. I walked home by myself.

On Saturday, I had my FYP lecture 2 before going home to change up and meeting Jingkun and Weitat at Vivocity. Dinner was settled at Long John Silver’s before we set off for Clementi. The game was boring at times and my performance was never consistent. We had dinner at Changi Airport Terminal 1 where Jingkun and I lost to the temptation of Popeye’s chicken. We ended our night at the Mustafa before Jingkun sent me home.

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It Refuses to End

It was only during last week when my Shi Fu patted my shoulder and I realized my pimples had not subsided for weeks. The scars seemed to remain forever.

The past few months of struggle between work and studies, inclusive of two modules and my final year project, almost killed me.

I had no vision of pulling through, as though I was on the journey to hell, on a non-return path. Little did I know the perseverance could save me at the expense of almost everything else.

It has not ended.

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FYP Second Lecture

Saturday was finally over. It was days of torment before that, trying to design and do content population for a new site for FYP. I could not take the stress that many works were pending; but luckily, boss gave me a green light to focus on my studies first.

I quite liked my own design of the topmask, but due to the lack of time, my anxious mind could not come to a term with me.

Listening to Mr Prem was a hundred times more useful for the project. His mind was clear and he knew well what were required.

Reaching SIM at 9am, I only got to go home after 4pm. However, I got to see quite a number of babes around as usual, which was enjoyable.

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Gone are the Exams

Days of mugging are never something that I would want to experience again. Now that I am left with the final year project, I can concentrate better; or at least, I can do better than taking two modules together with the FYP at the same time.

There are many things that I wish to do but never have the time to touch at all; I have given up many of my routine work. The sacrifice is too big that I feel so lost.

Gone are the exams, gone are my sights.

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Life is a Bullshit – Society Needs the Paper – Toilet Paper

The words refused to go into my brain. I was not interested at all and thus, worsening the situation.

I threw away free marks for simple questions. I knew I was not going to do it well.

For the start, I knew I could hardly survive. I was simply going for the sake of the piece of paper. If it was not for it, I would have made better progress in my life. How cruel the society was, or rather, how undetermined I was to set this path in my life.

For all I know now, I must try hard not to use the paper in future, because the better man does things uniquely.

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