How Many Ten-Years Do We Have In Our Lives?

One of my favourite Chinese drama shows, which had just ended recently, was Rosy Business. I was quite surprised that Gilbert did catch it as well. The story was based on the olden days of China during the Qing dynasty and I expected not many people would be interested in it. It was mainly about the family of the major rice seller in Wuxi, China. To them, it was not only about profit but the essential of lives of the people, and thus they had to fight against thugs and their evil family members to keep the business going and the price of rice low. I first caught it when I happened to have my dinner at home instead of dining out on a weekend. My curiosity was spiked by the great plot. It was a pity that I had missed out some of the exciting parts where the main characters applied intelligence to overcome problems. The show was not anything like “Huang Fei Hong” or Tom Cruise in “mission impossible”. The hero was not a saint; he made big mistakes and grew mature over times. His loyalty, courage and intelligence were impressive. The usual quote by the hero was “how many ten-years do we have in our lives?” and it clearly reminded everyone not to waste our lives. I know I have been ill-treating myself for the past twenty-plus years. Though I have not produced much result, I have clearly spent most of my entire life racing. I’m been trained not to have lust on food or travelling. I’m losing myself as days go by and soon becoming a zombie. I’m not a smart worker and I’m definitely bad at priority management. I have clearly disappointed many people. I’m never in need of money not because my family is rich but I rarely spend on myself. I’m used to mess around with hunger since polytechnic days. My dad’s last payslip wrote around $1300 before he passed away and my mum spent quite a sum of my dad’s leftovers (CPF and insurance) on renovation of the rundown house, insurance plans that she could not afford, crappy health magnetic mattresses and she even lent a big portion of it to her boss who had been abusing her verbally. One year before I went to the army for national service, I had to start skipping meals after volleyball games. Nobody can understand how much I have been through and thus no one is in the position to judge me. I have to work extra hard because I’m neither a genius nor apple-polisher. There are also some risks that I’m not able to take. I need to do something for my next ten years of life if I can live on.

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Loving You isn’t Enough

Love you is the greatest failure of my life. But if I can’t make you happy, it’s worse than losing you. I have done my best for you, and if you don’t appreciate or listen to me, that’s it. I can only sit back and wish you well. I have learnt that I’m not a saint and I can’t do everything. Though it’s my dream to give you the best of life, dreams usually succeed only when asleep. I love you deep but you can’t feel it till now. Maybe some other guys can do it better than me and I really hope so. I will miss your kisses and hugs, and especially your smiles. I will never forget you, not even your motion and the way you talk. Thanks for trying with me and trying to change your messy way of life. Love you.

All I hope for is the same like when I refused to admit my affection for you in the past – I need you to stay happy, love yourself and make your life meaningful.

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My Current Focus

I have purchased a new domain name. The site must be up as soon as possible before any big one comes out to dominate the market first.

I have been working on it non-stop for the past few days. I want to finish it by this month or latest before the upcoming “school holidays” ends. Will it be possible?

I need to complete the “quit smoking” one and also, work on the one Gilbert has been waiting for. Tze Khit is waiting for me as well, and we need to think and do something big.

I need the time and concentration.

Sometimes I feel lonely because I never seem to be able to get out of this unaccomplished life. I have been working and yet nothing significant is shown.

Peh’s Birthday Wishes

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
i wan a nice surf board pants…billabong

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
whahah

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
and…

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
RSH voucher!!

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
and…a laptop

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
and…a homw theater system

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
and…a LCD monitor

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
and…a plasma TV

kW – this is my new MSN acc says:
so much for now

Birthday wish

I am not a greedy person; I have only a short wish list inside my website under the “About Me” section.

webcam
PHP programming book
PDA
thumb Drive
portable harddisk
IXUS camera
new CPU
guitar
bike
condominium

Since my birthday is approaching, someone please grant me the last wish on the list.

[Shall update again if there’s anymore wish]

A dog for future home

I was causally surfing around for dogs’ pictures as I was chatting with Vivi. Then I came across this site http://www.nextdaypets.com and saw many cute pictures. I would love to have a dog in future though Vivi insisted to have one.

If only I could afford one in future because money, time and patience matter a lot.

Yorkshire Terrier (male)? – very adorable and nice colour!

Yorkshire Terrier (male)

Yorkshire Terrier (male) – very artistic picture!

Yorkshire Terrier (female) – Vivi’s favourite. Very sweet!

Yorkshire Terrier (female)

Yorkshire Terrier (female)

Shetland Sheepdog (female) – I like the colour and the fur

Jack Russell Terrier (female) – Cutie! Jack Russell is very hyperactive and thus it’s more fun to play with, but I prefer a male one

Beagle (male)

Beagle (male) – look at the pitiful face, making people feel like hugging him!

Beagle (male)

Blame the night

I smile, I laugh, I scream and joke like a mad guy. This is how I become happier that I care less than before. I can’t be bothered about how others would think and mock about me.

This is the path to a better life I suppose, just like when I was young and more arrogant. This is the best way to strive on; I bring back my confidence by hiding my flaws and pretend I’m invincible.

I watched the documentary about volunteers; I know I shouldn’t be thinking too much of this enjoyment when I can’t even prioritise my time properly to scrub a secure path for my future.

I blame this night, that my mind can’t stop thinking even though my eyes are reddish and my brain isn’t functioning well.

The finest NS life

Going for volleyball training three times per week and you don’t have to book in. You spend the rest of the time at home resting or studying. You need not sign any off pass to go for physiotherapy and you can jolly well start to recover since you need not carry things that would worsen your back.

Life’s so good and I dream on.

Regular swim or cycle

I’ve finally received my SAFRA membership card on this Monday. It’s right after a year of my enlistment date.

I wish it has come earlier. The facilities inside the clubs especially the Mount Faber one excite me. My main interest is the swimming pool.

As for the courtesy of my knee injuries, it isn’t appropriate for me to do exercise which requires big impact on the ground. I assume cycling and swimming can strengthen the muscle and at the same time cause less strain.

One day, I’ll be ready for a regular swim or cycle exercise every week. There’s when I can put aside everything and go out by myself.