Soft to hard

Often, you want to be kind; you give in all your best and you try to give convenience to others. You can’t expect any return but you hope for no evil repay.

Sadly, you can only expect for the worst.

There’re too many people who don’t know how to be gratified. You can’t force or educate them to learn, only to let their self conscience prickle them – if they have any.

Take my work for example. I see the trainees being so shagged and let them go off before I check the rooms, but they actually don’t keep the place clean.

It was finally another usual terrible day after a week. Daniel, Mike and Wah Chuan came and I kindly went back to the office to entertain them though I was rushing off. The room they asked for was issued. Daniel requested for two rooms but as the proper procedure, he had to call TRMS himself. I was at an awkward position, but still requested him to do it since I might be scolded again if I tried to be busybody again. He raised his voice immediately and insisted the job should be done for him.

On account of the small chocolate bar on his shoulder (this is how fucked up army is), I called to check with Ivan and confirmed the timetable was amended but theirs wasn’t updated. They left with satisfaction with the changed room’s keys.

If any important or urgent matter was on hand, why didn’t they come earlier? It wasn’t the first time this gang of friends were doing last minute thing, putting extra stress into my work. If rank was the game, I cared not for friendship. The fact that we went to and fro ROC together froze my heart, and to think that I had delivered keys over to his office inside of the DO room when he was on duty scattered the pieces of my heart, just like lost of friends.

I went to TRMS to face music from Shep to sign my off pass. She seemed to be heated up by selfish people again and I couldn’t bear to trouble her. It wasn’t any special treatment but my self conscience told me not to bother anyone, including stranger. I went back and helped the rest with the carrying of faulty equipments and although they gave me the lighter shares, my condition seemed to worsen with each step I made.

The next time I saw Shep was when she was going for lunch and I couldn’t make her go up to sign it. So, I waited till after the mid parade, let her have another round of scolding for the last minute thing. I was quite used to all her words already but they just made me realise I shouldn’t care too much about others, including her, that I should add on to her headache when she was being screwed.

This world is just too weird; not suitable for soft hearted people. I’m being trained to be cold blooded daily, and I can’t imagine seeing myself a year later.

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