Having a mindful of thoughts, everything has crossed one another that causes confusion, till I don’t know what I’m thinking about.
How I wish I can only see what I want to see and hear what I want to hear. I’m given this pair of eyes and ears to gain more misery.
Suddenly I just feel lost. I hate growing up; I hate seeing my friends one after another, growing up away from their innocence.
I’m trying to go astray too, unlike others, I’m being forced to. Most people wouldn’t appreciate their lives; I hate mine too, not being greedy, because I know well so many are much luckier than me.
I love to vent my anger on myself; I do things that I dislike and despise on. I really hate myself.
None can be compared to me when it comes to silliness. I do things out of sudden without knowing why and where to proceed to and how to carry on. Even idiots are better off – at least they seem to be happier than me.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up and sleep through the complicated life. But there’re too many things I can’t keep avoiding.
Give me a pair of wings and I shall fly to paradise; I shall conquer my fear and my most saturated agony; I shall charge towards the sun and melt my body with my deceased heart; I shall burn my soul in mockery.