Numb with endurance

Usually, people would advise you to endure hardship. Being told the same tale, I persisted on foolishly.

It has come to a point of endurance that every pain has emerged as part of my life, that I’m so used to them to take notice sometimes. My fingers, right arm, back, knees, feet, right toe and the occasionally gastric attack have become my friends, just like those selfish ones who would cause misery to my life.

Being questioned, I realised I haven’t been taking note of my gastric pain. All I know is that the pain is there, but not sure if it’s a needle poking or burning sensation pain. There shouldn’t be a second fool like me in this world, I suppose.

Same goes for other injuries and illness, I can’t describe well until after sever visits to the same doctor or physiotherapist. It may sound ridiculous to anyone, especially those who have to attend to my problems, but I’m just so useless.

I’ve immured to little pain that usually I wouldn’t give a damn. Therefore, I’m still continuing with some exercises that usually land me with aching. This endurance has caused numbness on me that I’m unable to determine the level of hurtfulness properly.

Anyway, the doctor has decided to do an Oesophao Gastro Duodenoscope (OGD) on me. It’s a specialised examination that allows him to look inside my upper digestive tract using an endoscope. An endoscope is a long, thin and flexible tube with a video camera attached to one and controls at the other end.

I should be safe since I’ve only one out of ten thousands chance of having ulcers; I’m not that unlucky yet. However, I hope minor problems can be detected, so that the doctor knows what to do, instead of finding no problem and yet I keep having the gastric pain. It’s just like the case for my knee caps.

OGD sounds so cool that I’d be injected to put to sleep and injected again to regain conscious. It’s just that the tube going down my throat sounds disgusting and I’m afraid of needle.

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