It had been long since I last had a slip. By the time we went out, everyone had given red light except the four of us. My pretty birthday girl who used to celebrate every year’s birthday together with me was stuck at Huiyi’s house and couldn’t join us.

Since I was already quite shag and together with the cough effect, disappointment and Andy’s chewing gum, I didn’t have much to say.

I hadn’t drunk so fast and so much before. It was nothing at first until the alcoholic effect rose to my head and I was numb all over. My heart started to bump so fast. The pub girl came over to join in the fun, challenging me to more glasses. I knew I couldn’t take it anymore, but didn’t want to spoil the fun since the gathering was all for me.

No longer could I hear things sharply. She made me drink up one more glass to exchange for a kiss and I bottomed it up while my head was still swinging.

True enough, she came over by my side but my hesitation made use of the fact that I was drunk to rest my heavy head on the small table.

I tried hard each day to live my day to the fullest; I tried to be wild and rebellious, and never be the toy of love again. Though I had failed, I was no longer a little boy anymore; at least not so conservative to reject a free kiss from a babe.

She went on with her words and I never wanted to be looked down, nor would I want to lose this opportunity. I got up more for the sake of the thrill than the temptation, and waited to see what she was going to do. She thrust over and bended her head down to give a peck on my neck.

Luckily it was just the neck, even though I’d enjoy more if she moved upwards. It wasn’t good to take advantage of a girl who might be sacrificing just for her job. So, I realised I need to work harder to turn myself more bastard.

Severe recurrence came about my mind again. It was just my dream to get a kiss before my death during my secondary school days. I could sense how silly I was. A guy who could sweet talk fluently could easily get that from different girls and I was the fool trying to give my best sincerely and devotedly, sounding so uninteresting to gain any sympathy.

It was my promise to myself that I wouldn’t take alcohol anymore; even during parties or celebration, when my friends or mum offered me, I’d been disciplining myself well. I wasn’t a good drinker in the first place.

My first burp instigated some puke into my mouth. I threw up inside the toilet and thought it was over already. I didn’t drink anymore and we started playing Daidee. It was difficult to pick the cards up when my whole body was so numb and the bottle, jugs and glasses were blocking my view. I won a few games and stopped when my head got heavier.

After some rest, the sudden vomiting stink the place. My jeans were disgustingly decorated and I couldn’t walk out helplessly. Being supported out of the pub, I puked near the door immediately and then moved farther down to give another hellish shot on the ground, throwing up almost all my dinner. I could even see the black small seeds of the Dragon food I took before I left my house.

I gave off the last one, feeling so uncomfortable that as if I almost threw my lungs out as well. I kneeled down there with my hands, face, nose, pouch and shirt in a mess, and of course my jeans were the most pitiful one.

It was this cruel fact of life, that no matter how drunk I was, my mind was still functioning properly, which seemed like stabbing me so hard. Drinking was certainly not a good way to escape problems, because when you got so bad smell all over, suffering, looking worst than a stray dog, the sadness was still there.

I went back into the toilet to clean myself up. I had to take off my jeans to wash using the flush. It took so long to clear almost all the undigested stuffs away. The worst thing was to have an attendant inside the toilet to make me feel so awkward. He asked me the obvious question after I went in the second time and I smiled to him in my unpleasantness.

I got back to the seat, which was cleaned up already, except for the floor still having the obscene stuffs. I’d lost my sense of smell in my gruesome body. There were smells of puke, alcohol, as well as smoke. I began to shiver immediately.

I walked out from the pub, to farther down the road, where I sat there to rest. Andy came out soon but went in again to leave me alone. That was where I observed the night life.

Some people were supported out to puke, and even though they couldn’t even walk properly, they could hold it better than me and not do it inside the pub. Around a quarter of the girls I saw are gorgeous looking, half were average and the remaining was just slightly poor graded.

Was that the kind of life I should be seeking for? Since the world was wide and there were so many pretty girls around, why should I make myself suffer all these years? Since the holy and innocent looking girls often turned out to be bitches, why should I resume my ways of judging people?

My teeth were shivering the whole morning. I had my last puke just besides me, a little portion, but that didn’t make me feel comfortable enough.

At least I knew who the ones who were nice to me were. Four was a company.