[Sunday, 07 May, 2006]
Sunny day was a good day for beach.
I could not stop feeling the lousiness in myself because I tended to forget things too easily that I always fell into the same trap again; this day this friend asked me to go beach and I would answer “okay” and this day this friend asked me to help get people and I would answer “okay” again, forgetting about the previous bad encounters.
It was not nice to be a fool to wait alone at the same old place; nobody was there until at least half an hour later. Somehow if you had tasted it so often, you might just feel like the surrounding people were mocking at you.
It was not like in the past anymore; I had to decline myself from dwelling in the old sweet times. People grew older to seek more important things like their boy-girl relationships and other possessions. The half-heartedness was obvious but I refused to obligate.
How would you feel if you were to give calls to friends who were already late for half an hour to realise they were still asleep and worse still, not going to join you anymore? How would you endure people who did not bother to inform you of their last minute laziness or second thought?
It was tedious to organise any outing when you did not even receive any reply from some of them. Whereas a few would just question “who going?” without any follow-up, while the rest just claim that they were sick just to preserve energy for other events. I did not expect the actual day to be worse.
If you had spent more than a quarter of your latest life with them and suffered these craps, how would you feel?
If your scheduled day was actually a day ahead until this friend requested for change of date that more friends would be invited to the group, yet your friend did not even turn up on the very day, how must you feel? Obviously it was not the first time and of course the person who was fooled was a real idiot, too naïve and eager to believe.
Nobody owed anybody anything; it was just the display of friendship.
If you were to ask me to organise for the next one, it was insult to intelligence and dignity.