Even though you know you are the winner, it is never too good to face lots of challengers still. It is a mixed feeling and I can never explain it.
Jealousy is the lack of trust, but I am seriously not certain of my own feeling. It could be some fears and worries; it could be phobia. I guess it has got to do with self-distrust.
Nevertheless, it is an inevitable fact of life that everyone goes for the best. Even in the past, I would not have cared so much; now that I know I have to fight for what I really want, I finally understand the urge for everyone to strive for their needs.
Love requires too much trust and it takes too much to commit to. For at least I know I am giving in my best, I hope it will never cause me another phobia.