[Sunday, 21 May, 2006]
Early in the morning, I woke up too frequently with the fear of oversleeping. For every ten minutes, I opened my eyes and wondered why Vivi had not called me. Meeting her up at Outram MRT and then accompanying her to Pasir Ris, it was a sweet journey.
I disliked going to unfamiliar places, of a little worrier, yet I persisted on. I knew she want my presence when she was performing and I had to fulfil her dream. It was all because she was besides me, I was about to remain calm.
Stepping out from the train, there were already people from Tzu Chi. It was a weird feeling when you could not stay too near or even hold your partner’s hands; somehow you might need a reminder set into your handphone so that in case you suddenly forgot your location.
We were entertained by her instructor, Mingxi, at the bus-stop. Luckily he was a fun-loving guy. As she was going to get ready, I was left alone. I went up to the second level of the hall, met this high status woman and volunteered for some work since I had nothing to do; she started to show me around and gave very long lecture about the history and ongoing work of the association.
Vivi saved me in the end when she came over to bring me for lunch. Her friends started teasing us around even though they did not know about our relationship. The vegetarian meal was fine to me except for some hidden ginger, but I forced myself to swallow everything since it was not nice to have leftovers.
As the rain started, we were ready to get back into the building, where I was left alone again. The stairs were blocked when I tried to go up to the top storey again as performance was going to commerce soon. When Vivi asked me to join her at the preparation room, the stairs were cleared then.
I was the photographer for that day, which she announced, putting me into good use. It was awkward to begin my work but I soon got adapted to shooting around, except when people came over to look at the pictures or instruct me to specific tasks.
I got to see the boy who was crazily obsessed for Vivi. He had this not-so-pleasant cheeky smile, always staring at her indecently, seemed like he was going to “eat” her up anytime; if looks was not the right way to judge people, Vivi’s description would at least described some of her arrogance and disgusting acts. It just seemed weird that everyone knew she hated him lots and yet they always tried to push them together. And he, being able to cry, tried all means to gain sympathy from their friends.
In the end, one of the aunties tried to get the photos from me. Since there was no business for me to stay after Vivi’s part, I left her my contact number so that I could try to send her some other days. I was quite pressured by her because I was not sure if the quality of the photos would be good since I was using freehand to zoom in to the maximum at the stage which was not very bright.
Both of us left together for lunch at White Sands’ food court, and then followed by the usual routine of sending her home.
It was actually a good chance to realise my dream of doing regular charity work but obviously the time was not ripped yet for I was not ready to commit when my own work was still unfinished and that I still needed a high pay job to realise my other dreams and to allow my mum to live comfortably.
I did not like big organisations as well as the uniforms because of my freedom mindset. The stories of them ill-treating themselves with lack of sleep during events had also scared me that I felt they had overdone it. Most of all, I was extremely in need of my own private time.