I Do Not Want To Wake Up

I’m sorry. I’m just feeling lousy and depressed of something which you would probably find it nothing severe. I’m not a story-teller and I cannot probably relate to everyone what has happened and to even boast about my incapability.

Everyone has different aspects for life and some people value certain items highly while others do not even give a glance; some people treat certain friends like goddess while some people treat friends who treat them well like dirt. In this world, there is uncountable number of people who you never bother to talk to but there will be one who can slash your heart just by a single sentence.

It takes setbacks to grow stronger but I can never recover from the previous wounds that heartless souls have dealt to me. I’m sorry but I’m a weakling at present. More setbacks would only drive me to further self-destruction which I have been trying to subdue since years back when I realise things are getting out of hand and can never be reverted.

I swear I do not wish to wake up everytime for getting to sleep is so difficult when everything crops inside my mind every millisecond. I’m not trying to avoid things and run away but I’m really tired of everything; at least let me sleep straight for a year.

It is not anyone’s but my fault for consistently I pretend I do not care when I really care. It is not that I’m a coward that I fear rejection and failure but I just do not wish to worsen the situation even though it is already bad enough. It is not that I have not tried, and I almost thought I could rise over a night until reality advised me to pretend it was simply a dream. There is not much that I’m asking for but it seems that small things are too much for me that now I believe I’m insignificant to everyone.

It is not within my will to treat someone good and I can never change or divert my interest. I’m so fretted that I cannot concentrate on anything. I’m rotting my life away now and can never accomplish anything.

Put me to sleep!

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