Year 2007 – The Year of Job Exploring

Year 2007 was a total new experience for me. I began the year as a property agent, continued from the previous couple of months. This period lay my poorest days for I did not get to receive my commission (pay) until months later. I gave up after almost half a year of trying for reasons:
– joined the wrong company
– received basic training only four months after joining
– met wrong “teachers”
– market is too corrupted for a naïve me
– too used to help people for free

It was a sad decision for the efforts I put in definitely deserved a much higher income; basically, I made less than a toilet cleaner. However, I managed to make use of the period of time to do up a website I also got to taste the hypocrisy of human beings, from fake people who indulged in the self assuming of being clear conscience.

Carol Ng was my benefactor to introduce me to a web design company, where I met the greatest souls on earth. Everyone tried so hard to stay for each other despite the not appreciating management. I learned little over there as Web Support and I did beyond my job scope. I left within four months together with some of them because I realised it was not worthwhile to sacrifice myself for people who were not unconcern.

I had a breakthrough in my web development. I managed to come out with a site that did give me some earnings for a couple of months before it died. With the money, I was able to get myself a new desktop, which I regretted badly for I could have chipped in more money for a laptop more convenient for a webmaster.

One of my new part-time jobs was filming at Mediacorp. It was thanks to Jesedy that I managed to gain this experience and know more about how filming was done. Each time, I got to make more new friends. However, it could only be a hobby and not permanent job.

I spent more than two months almost jobless, trying to learn PHP and MySQL on my own. The project was halted when I chanced upon a good opportunity as temporary lecturer. My first ever project for the school almost killed me, until the last day of the year, I was finally released.

Volleyball played a big part of my life as usual but my career path was never good. I started playing again a few months after my left calf operation to realise that I could never jump like the past. I lost my touch. The worst thing was when more injuries dragged me behind further.

Relationship began a downfall at the beginning of the year. However, it brought me to sense. My isolation from human beings worsened due to uncompleted projects.

So Alone

It was a terribly disappointing night. The main objective of the trip was defeated.

I seemed so lost and far away from everyone. The darkness robbed me off my voice and I wondered if I had attended the wrong party.

It was all about the mind and not any person. It was not the distance but the self isolation.

Filming Was Quite Cool Yesterday

Due to the fact that I did not have a wink at all, I dozed off fast on the bus 52 from Clementi and missed the stop outside Andrew Road. I woke up in time to stop at the usual stop, at the main entrance at Macritchie Reservoir, where bus 167 stopped. It was a long way back.

CC did not insert my name into the system and thus I had to wait for some time at the guardhouse. Jesedy rescued me once again. I proceeded to fetch my clothes and went straight to the Annex Building’s toilet. After I got changed and entered the door, I realised it was the wrong storey. After slacking for a while at the casting area, Jesedy walked me to Studio 6 together with Monica.

Sara arrived later but soon dashed out to search for her outfit which had dropped along the way from the wardrobe. We took great rest for the studio was partitioned well like houses inside a flat and the mattresses were too tempting.

Filming was nice with Huang Wenyong, Chen Liping, Mizhu-jie and other old familiar faces. It was a comedy show anyway, and spirit was really great when the place was overwhelmed with kind souls. A pity for the camera was unusable and I had to stretch my thumb up to press the flash, which was quite fake.

The journey home was killing. Bus 167 arrived after a long time packed with passengers. I only managed to get a seat at around Newton. After passing by Far East Plaza, I began losing conscious in the jam until Shenton Way. The time taken for the journey home was almost doubled.

Burning Soul for Money

I can become a fortune-teller. I predict it to be so true and deadline is extended. More touch up is supposed to be made then.

It is not my fault if my teammate does not send me his work. We are both being paid to work. Anyway, I realised last time temporary staffs could get paid fifty percent more than us. At least now I know we are not exceptionally paid higher than market.

We work to burn our souls and suffering till health level deceases; we work to find health problems to solve in future. This is not what I have expected in the first place. When I do not have the time to learn stuffs which I’m supposed to, and if I cannot do my prime job well, am I supposed to feel guilty?

There is a limit to everything. I cannot probably burn midnight oil daily though I can be definitely work harder than most people.

My dreams seem to be vanishing.

Gatherings Pending

It is not the greatest awaited day but at least it spells some hopes of temporary release. The deadline could be just a milestone of the entire project.

For now, I’m not even sure if I could complete the project.

Nevertheless, every day after tomorrow is already booked. How to enjoy there are still excessive tasks to complete? I do not even know how much work load will be added.

Everything is trying to kill me.

Split Brain

There are tasks which I can never perfect. To some people, I may have done quite well in some parts of these tasks, but I know I could have done much better, but never to my best.

Perhaps, I need more time and concentration. Or perhaps, if you take away all my commitments, I would be able to focus.

There are probably too many things which I want and have to do.

It has been so bad that sometimes I can get thinking of two different things at the same time.

Merry Christmas 2007!

For those who did not receive my SMS, just to let you know that Uncle Santa has instructed you to give me my present first. Later, he will put yours into your smelly socks. So, remember not to wash them first.

By the way, if you really never receive my SMS, probably I have sent to your old number. Please message me your latest number!


When you finally have an excuse to start chatting with your dream girl, your brain freezes and soon you realise both of you are back to the silence. Soon, she leaves without saying anything.

It has been so long and yet still so helpless.

You can never be brave when talking to the person whom you really want to cherish. After all, you can never impress her.

Triad and Volleyball Teams

I cannot and will never understand why Lim Peihui’s students can never take part in competition with Michael Ong’s students and vice versa.

Is this a triad kind of thinking?

In the past, the few of us could not play for Ngee Ann Polytechnic because Michael Ong did not approve it. It was a terrible feeling. My volleyball career has ever since rotted from bad to worse. I’m so sick of such ruling, which is the degeneration of many players.

Stephen has been playing and going out with us for months. He has even taken part in beach volleyball with us. He is out of Shuqun and I cannot understand why he cannot play for us in the next “open” tournament.

If you were to be trained by coach A but for some reasons you do not play for coach A’s private team, you cannot play for coach B’s private team as well. Therefore, you are set as an outcast and have to give up the game? What is this logic?

We play to enjoy ourselves. We play together because we enjoy each other’s company. We play together because we trust each other but in the end we cannot play together to win honours.

If you were to be born in country A, you can never play for country B? Singapore has been sourcing for young talents from China and some of them have been winning medals for us in various international competitions. Are they betrayers? Will China condemn Singapore? Some of France’s soccer players are not born in France as well.

What I can say is that it is for the good sake of the individual players to move on. It is part and parcel of life.

There is a limit to what I can do. To think positively, at least we can play together other than in competitions. It is probably not much of my problem anymore since I probably will not be playing any longer.

Crashing of Jobs

Because of the previous scene which I trimmed my hair a day before that, I took the trouble to trim my hair again a month after when I was on a tight schedule just for the next day’s filming. Usually, I would only trim my hair every couple of months.

On the actual day, Tuesday, they called me in the morning to say that the scene was postponed to the next week. They could not even give me an exact time.

That was really stupid. I took up the first scene when I was jobless and at that point of time I did not mind if they were fickle-minded because I could re-schedule my own time for doing my own websites.

And for the first scene, they made me go there earlier than scheduled time suddenly and I waited for around two and a half hour. I heard from those old part-timers that it was not so messy in the past.

The fact was that the lowly paid job could only fill at most three days per month and they should never expect me to give up my other job for them. It was not even half of what I had to give to my mum every month.

I did not expect them to drag for so long in the first place and since I did not want to break my promise to Jesedy, I already tried to go down on Tuesday.

If two scenes are supposed to be joined together, it is ridiculous to be dragged for so long. If you see spot the same actor growing pimples in the show after he travels from one place to another, which takes only a couple of seconds, you can conclude that the filming of the two scenes are done on very different days.

I have my own job and life and I cannot wait everyday for them to ring me up a day before the filming to inform me. If it crashes with my job, I would not know what to do. The worst thing is that some people will not understand my situation that I want to focus on my job but have no choice for just this once. It would be so sick having to explain to everyone again and again if they find out about my tight schedule.

One thing is that I would rather start working in my new job next year; I’m definitely not greedy for “easy” money to work in the month of their holidays. The reason I would want to start early is to learn more about everything to get prepared. But the project they give me makes me realise I should have insisted to start next year.