Sometimes when a person wants to do things well badly, he would dwell too much into it until he cannot focus on other things.
Sincere and hardworking people may tend to fall into the trap often. This is when perfectionists get busted.
Studies, work, partnership and dreams…
I had another great day. It had been a couple of months since I last played badminton. It was the first time I used the new racket. The six of us, inclusive of Hirman, Weitat, Jingkun, Mr Neo, Dorothy and I rotated to played doubles. I was totally off form and kept missing easy hits. However, the company was great.
Dorothy kindly brought us (Jingkun, Weitat and I) to the nearby coffee shop for dinner in our smelly jerseys and bodies. That was the second meal of the day, which we had together. After that, she sent us back to the campus before going home.
We were too tired for volleyball. I could have done so much better if I was not distracted in the office earlier when I was trying to trim my fingernails. The long nail instigated fears in me and I did not dare to hit the ball, which caused a lousy performance in front of all the girls, women and aunties-to-be.
After washing up, Weitat sent Kok Chiang home. Then, he drove Gin, Tony and I to my place. The prata shop was surprisingly closed for business, and we shifted to the Golden Café coffee shop.
My “Current Online Users” counter was working fine until I switched webhosts.
I remembered clearly I needed to change the permission of the text file on the server before it could work for I was not using SQL database. However, no matter what I tried, even to the extent of changing the permission for the folder, the counter refused to work.
I asked around my friends but none of the programmers was familiar with writing and reading a text file using PHP. I tried to google for solutions but it did not help, until I found on “www.php.net/fwrite” the line “PHP does not recognise the permissions setting for the file until you restart the server”. It stunned me for quite a moment. I was not using a dedicated server and I was not running the website on my personal server or computer, and it would be troublesome to get the server reset; moreover, I could not confirm it would work.
It actually took me a few days from assuming the servers were problematic to suspecting my FTP application was buggy, and finally to the urge to try debugging. My knowledge of the script was too shallow to spot any problem; moreover, I supposed there could not be a mistake since I had been using the same script for years. I started by adding codes into the different files for prompting. The last thing I did was to do a trial and error to remove a space/tab between a “3” and “000”, which aroused my suspicious. It finally worked.
I concluded that changing file permission was an immediate effect, which did not require restarting of the server. However, it might not always be the case for some extremely lousy servers that could or could not have existed.
Due to some webhosting problems, my main site might be down any time for probably around 24 hours.
During this period of time, loading speed for website that requires images or other files from the webhost will be slow and display will be different.
I had a great volleyball game on Thursday, other that my face was smashed by the ball at an extreme angle from the opposite side.
The fun started off before the game as Kachua arrived at the campus early and I joined him together with Weitat to Jurong Point. We did not really know the exact way but decided to try our luck with the uncertainty. Sitting at the passenger seat was more relaxing and I was certainly blessed.
The old food court at the main Jurong Point shopping centre was under renovation and we changed our plan to the duck rice stall. It was one of the rare times that I did not finish my meal because of Kachua’s brother, the little cockroach, who flew on my food. To think that I thought he was a fly at first…
Walking around the shopping centre was great although it made us tired when we got back to the campus.
I was able to recover my skill slowly, using more of my wrist power. I was not confident with my servicing skill, which I used to be powerful and almost error-free in the past. The lack of practising caused a great dealt to my confidence. I would not have put in so much effort until my spectacle dropped off and I poured in my strength to jump.
We made our way down to the Carl’s Junior fast food restaurant at Big Splash after the game. I wondered why so many teenagers could be there on a Thursday midnight since the place was not so accessible.
It was all good and I was happy throughout the evening and early morning.
The work simply does not turn out sufficient. The expectation points only at the surface. The words doubt my perseverance.
Everything is getting a piece of me.
I hate school I hate work and I hate my dreams.
I had my phone sent to the service centre besides IMM during Wednesday’s lunchtime.
Jingkun and I took Daniel’s car over and waited quite long for our turn. The rest reached IMM soon and met up with Daniel and Jingkun told them to go ahead with their meals first while the two of us could take bus back to office after that.
The fact that upgrading the software to solve the lagging problem would take around three hours wrote a little disappointment on my face. I felt stupid for not bringing an extra phone with me since I would have to leave my phone with them. Nevertheless, I did not know I would have the chance to go over on that day since we were supposed to go the week before since I mentioned about the lagging problem.
We were quite fortunate that we managed to catch up with the rest afterwards, or otherwise, I would feel guilty towards Jingkun and probably Weitat for making them to take bus with me.
As they wanted to queue up for lottery, Weitat, Jingkun and I had a tour around the Challenger shop where I bought a headset for eight bucks. It was the first time I had ever bought one for myself. I needed it to reduce the distraction from all the “hoo-ha” around the office.
After work, Jingkun dropped me at the entrance of the same building. I waited for quite some time before getting back my phone. I walked alone towards Jurong East MRT station to take train home.
The first thing when I reached the office was to take my new Chinese medicine.
The cap was tightly closed but there seemed to be a leakage of the medicine. I was horrified when I saw the inner of the pill’s packet wet. It was sealed and was supposed to be airtight.
I was so experienced in drinking directly from the bottle that I did not bother to fetch a cup. Nevertheless, skill alone was never enough to handle the liquid this time that they started dripping by the side of the bottle instead of flying into my mouth. Within less than a second, my hand was wet and I recapped instantly that I was wearing a white t-shirt.
The medicine was very different from the usual ones. It seemed to be less saturated, yet sticky, or maybe, heavier.
Luckily, I had extra clothes with me for the next day’s volleyball game.
No matter how hard we have been trying to be helpful, we cannot understand how others would judge us. There may be jealousy or misunderstanding, which we are unaware of.
Sometimes, we do get neglected. Then, we start wondering have we done anything wrong.
The images of me in the eyes of others may be too much of a big concern to myself.
Too much thought and concern for others has restricted me from doing things. There have been excess self-blaming and it simply belittles self-confidence.
I realise it does not make much of a big difference for nobody can do everything correctly nor accommodate everyone.