When a human does something, the focus would be on either of the two parties – self or others. There could be a mixture of both, but one’s weightage would be higher than another’s.
“If I do this, what will happen to me?”
“If I do this, what will happen to him?
A person who is more self thought would rather harm others than to lose a strand of hair. Staying closely with him is always at a losing end. He may help you given that he is already on a safe zone, or, unless he knows well he needs your help in near future. He never realises the meaning of “If he’s happy, I’m happy too”.
A person who is willing to sacrifice more for others will tend to lose some benefits in the surface; but within him are peace and joys. He feels more secured for someone would definitely lend him a helping hand in future without asking.
Another way of differentiating the two types of person is through the daily activities he wishes to engage in.
“This is fun, let’s play together.”
“This is good for your future, let’s do it together.”
A self thought person looks at things that are beneficent to him; a worthy friend looks at what you really need and urges you to take up.
I have met the extreme of both types of people. The first type has almost ruined my life; whereas the second type pushes me to get my degree and driving licence, and anything else that can upgrade myself.
Can love make a difference? The perception of human being is difficult to be changed and so far I have not witnessed any success case.
Nevertheless, if a person cannot think and sacrifice more for his love one in a positive way, his life is absurd.