[Wednesday, 4 August, 2010]
The usual deep pondering caused my head spinning. I tried to break the record by going to bed before 1am since I knew it was going to be a boring morning in the internet but my mind refused to stop working. It took two hours for me to give up and start booting up my laptop.
A moment of frustration hit me hard to wake me up. For the past month, I had been strangling myself with greed that had slowed me down too much. I was never in mood for anything. I hated the fact that history always repeated itself.
I started warming up my engine and slowly sped off with blogging, website editing, clearing up my desktop and even uploading of old pending photos. Updating my portfolio with the Chinese poems was a pain in my ass. I realised I had not been adding the new ones for years and it seemed that I did not keep the new ones properly inside my poem files. I exhausted myself but I refused to stop until 7am. I did not feel like going to bed just like having a strike.
Zaki rang me up at around 11am and he guessed well that I was still in the mid of my sleep. He verbally answered to the email I sent him in the morning that our gang was not going overseas anymore for the upcoming long weekend, and he also asked if I knew how to fix router. I went back to sleep and woke up after 1pm.
It was a big struggle to keep my mind focused. I tried hard not to think of catching a movie. The concentration into web design did me well though my mind did wander off some times. The work lasted till late night before I emailed shifu guiltily after the long delay of work with the temporary location in my webhost.
The confession from Vanessa stating she used to be scared of me haunted me throughout the day. The claim was that I was too sharp. I began to reflect on myself for how many tales I had exposed in the past that had drawn people away. I was probably being too harsh to myself. Nevertheless, it was good to be different from hypocrites and only unique people would appreciate.