Human beings tend to look at things from their own angles and believe solely in their own points of view. In my experience, some things may seem simple to some people but it can be difficult to many others – different people have different abilities and experiences. Things may seem straightforward but there can be many little details in order to accomplish them. For example, to open the casing of a mobile phone, an experienced user may just tell someone to pull it apart. However, some phones may require you to press certain part to unlock first. Many things are actually more complicated. I’m struggling hard but nobody can see the direction that I’m heading towards. It is a huge market that I’m exploring but I’m also entering a trade that is heavily congressed. There are many people who have stepped in more than ten years ahead of me and I’m very sure they have maximised their manpower, resources and experiences to think of creative marketing strategies – which I have seen none. My brothers and I have been thinking of ideas but nothing magnificent seems to be workable and thus, it appears to outsiders that none of us has made any effort to do any planning. I try to comfort myself by thinking that all the older companies have run out of ideas as well – at least, some people do believe in this – that I’m just finding excuses. I’m not good in prioritising tasks but at least I know what are required. I have never planned to reach for the sky before taking care of crucial things on the ground that few people can see. I do restructure my system often but it is not that I have not planned enough in the beginning stage; I’m totally new to the trade and almost greenhorn to the extent of coding. I’m proud that I have come out with ideas that have outshone most others. But my task is not all about coding a website just for clients to log in and it is also beyond online marketing can help. I have to take care of different groups of users and their interaction, and I also have to solve problems created by many humans. Things would be very different if I were working on just a blog that mainly earns through advertisement banners. But since I have started something, I’m not going to give it up. I design, I code, I write, I market, I administrate and I entertain confused people. If anyone says I should have done more, I can only smile. If anyone insists that it is easy, go and try starting an agency in Singapore such as maid agency or job agency.
When I answered the auntie next to my office that I did not have a girlfriend, she asked if I were not interested in girls. For once I did not have any interest to joke and immediately denied her. There are too many reasons why I’m not hurrying to get one. To sound really bad, it is simply because no girl is interested in me. On a more positive note, most people should be able to tell that I’m not ready yet. I have been struggling with work for very long and I can hardly spend enough time to accompany anyone. I’m realistic and know well I’m not able to give a girl a good life in my current situation. The cost of living in Singapore is ridiculous. Somehow, something is hindering me from fantasizing about beautiful stories. The phobia is dreadful. So far, no one has the power to make me overcome it. I may drool over a girl but I’m not moving at all and there can never be a chance.