ITE Orientation Camp April Intake Day 2

[Friday, 30 April, 2010]

The first second of the day was the continuation of Hirman’s reflection session. He could assign everything to his emcees but definitely not this task. His enthusiasm, warm-heartedness and firmness clearly stated the importance of the camp. He wanted the students to learn in the midst of enjoyment to see beyond themselves and spare thoughts for others, and to persist on no matter how tough their future would be. I supposed not everyone bothered to listen but those who had listened were people who were more likely to succeed in future.

I did not feel like sleeping afterwards for I was quite worried about the students. I tried to tidy up the photos inside my laptop but I was disturbed by a sudden alert that a student was falling sick. I woke Hirman up and it turned up that that girl did not have a fever. Later on, I went to accompany Aaron for his guard duty but I did not talk much. Upon returning, I was told that Hirman and George were back to settle the problem of the sick student. I went to take my bath before continuing with my work but I did not last till daylight.

Mrs Grace Cheong highlighted to me that by sleeping in front of the door with my head facing it would cause me to have nightmare. I was very glad to hear her advice for I felt protected somehow. The breakfast was nasi lemak and later on, some of my ex-colleagues decided to go for movie and I felt I should be ready for in case anything happened. I dozed off until noon time when I had a shock that I had missed out a few hours of photography. However, it seemed that the activities were not as fun as the previous camp.

I joined Iylia for lunch before we set off to capture all the precious moments. It seemed that she preferred to stick together but that would cause us to miss out some interesting events happening at other parts of the Singapore Discovery Centre. Anyway, I was quite disappointed that everything came to an end soon and dinner was served early so that they could prepare for the performance at night. I helped Iylia with the phototaking of all the classes.

The approaching of the night placed my photography skill into great challenges. I borrowed Diana’s new Nikon camera but it was not as good as what I had expected for a costly new digital camera. Hirman got me to go into the theatre to take photos and during Kelvin’s speech, I knocked out completely since I did not have enough sleep for the past three or more nights. By the time I woke up, the event was about to end. I went to the main area and my shagginess dragged me to the Hospitality Suite to rest.

When everything was over, I stayed with my two ex bosses and Mr Neo to clear up some of the mess. Hirman went off without me after he loaded up the equipments and my bag was inside his car. Mr Neo gave me a lift back to Clementi campus and we were earlier than Hirman. During the journey, I was very impressed with the ultra big moon.

I reached the lobby to see volleyball game going on. There was not enough time for me to go in to greet Mr Peh and uncle Jiaming. I left with Hirman in sorrow somehow. I followed Hirman to Bar Stop to meet up with Jenne and Joei. I had a glass of beer and a plate of chicken pizza. The earlier hunger had caused a lost in appetite and that we left too early for me to finish up my stuff. I felt very lousy for the first time for the little amount of beer I took caused me a bit of drowsiness.

Jenne insisted not to collect money from me. She sent me home before driving off with Joei. I was quite worried for Hirman for he might doze off anytime on the way home but I did not want to distract him by SMSing him to check him up.

It was nearly 11pm when I reached home.

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Virgin Visit to St. James

[Saturday, 24 April, 2010]

I had supper at Maxwell food centre with my family. The noodle was at quite reasonable price at two bucks each bowl. The iced lemon teas from both drinks stall were disappointing. The night was still young, or rather, the morning was too early.

I met up with Irwin in the afternoon at Vivocity. We went to Burger King where Irwin took his early dinner. I got a birthday present for my mum, which was a moving display plant, ran by solar energy. I was almost trapped at the Cannon shop, dwelling on the cool cameras, which I needed quite badly. Eugene joined us at White Dog Café and Irwin took his second dinner. I did not enjoy the fish and chips as much as previous time.

Next, we went to St. James. We tried the Smoke Lounge but only to sit around the bar since we had to open a bottle in order to get a table. We waited patiently for the live band while Irwin treated me to a glass of Singapore Sling. I did not really enjoy alcoholic drinks including cocktail. I tried to slip as much as I could but I could never catch up with Irwin’s speed.

During the band’s performance, an uncle in his white hair and polo tee stood right in front of the low platform to harass the sexily dressed Latin singers. I thought it was a good interaction until the second song started, the man went back to do the same disgusting actions of pointing to the girls and pinching his index finger and thumb together to form a hole. Irwin got very disgusted and ordered us to leave. Since I wanted to stay conscious, I did not bottom up the remaining of my drinks before leaving, wasting more than one-third of the drinks.

After that, we met up with Huiling and her boyfriend back at Vivocity. We went to one of the bars to chill while waiting for Weiye. He reminded me of Kachua’s happy-go-luckiness and I was so glad to see him after so many years since we graduated from secondary school. The couple left while the remaining four of us went to Party World to battle against each other. It was one of the few times I would heck care about my out-of-tone singing.

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Too Early for Farewell Dinner

On Friday morning, I was not sure what time to kick off my day since I was informed of an 8am relief duty days ago, however, the summary of the daily status did not include it. Nobody replied my email. For the benefit of doubt, I dragged my feet to work earlier than usual and it proved that my effort was worthwhile. My dear friend, Xiuzhen, went to school earlier and she killed my boredom by joining me in the class.

I took half day off in the afternoon and rested at home until the evening, leaving for the dinner with the colleagues. It was my virgin visit to 313 Somerset and I was stuck at the basement. The escalators from basement 2 to 3 were not in operation yet and I tried going down the stairs. After travelling down a flock of stairs, the light went off. I got the greatest shock of the year. The worst of all was the embarrassment that I had to conceal. Moving up the stairs slowly with the limited beams of light from the door kindly built with a small piece of glass, I was hoping nobody would be outside. Nevertheless, it was a wrong decision to proceed down, wasting my steps. I met two aunties on my way into the lift and they saved my day by exclaiming there was “Marche” restaurant and I looked at the label besides the button and realised it was on level 1.

Having dinner with the best bosses in the world was enjoyable; however, it was weird to have farewell dinner when I was not confirmed with my departure yet. The food was not to my liking although the ambience was nice. I heard jokes and stories, and I started envying everyone, for I had spent most of my time in front of the computers for more than ten years of my life. There was nothing much I could share, probably except for some sad love stories.

They wanted to go pubbing at Number 5 but it was too crowded. We proceeded to KPO where the filthy rich people went to and there was not even enough space for us to stand. Next, Jenne recommended us to Bar Stop where we shared the table together with her friends. It was a nice place and it would be my greatest fantasy to live in a place beautifully designed place in future. We were left with Weitat, Henry, Jenne, Joei and me.

We made our ways off at around midnight and I missed my last bus 167, having to walk home from Chinatown by taking bus 124.

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Valentine’s Day 2009

My mum went on cruise last Friday and thus, my meals were affected badly. Saturday afternoon saw me fill my stomach with cornflake and milk.

I was a lazy bum as usual.

I pinned high hope for Irwin to get back to Singapore early and he returned in the evening as planned, however, he did not want to risk queuing up with the crowd outside any restaurant since it was Valentine’s Day.

We went for golfing instead and I bought some finger food at the cafe. The crispy lemon chicken pieces were disastrous. It was not very safe to get such food from small cafe because the food may not be fresh enough. Whatever the case, some parts were not well cooked enough.

I strike many air balls before beginning to do the swinging in more an appropriate way than ever – that was to use the left hand’s strength instead of both. I could not get the ball far until I got bored and started to use my waist when I decided I had enough of practice with the “P” instead of “7 Iron”.

We went to Bugis to meet up with Eugene before proceeding to TCC. I was right that the waitress, Charlene, was not around. Anyway, the inside seats were all taken and thus we sat at the non air-conditioned place. We asked for ice water while we were looking through the menu but the waiter claimed that it would be served only when we placed our order. It took them some time to attend to us to take our order later and even longer to bring the water over to drench our thirst. We did not like the attitude of the waiter at all. We were interrupted twice in the midst of enjoying our chat for they brought drinks over like as if we would order new ones before finishing ours.

We went over to a pub at Suntec City where we were questioned of our ages. I was not fan of alcohol. Since there was no backrest and the recent relapse of my worsening back problem put me in sweat. I knew I probably looked pale if it was in the daylight.

Eugene took a cab home. Irwin and I walked towards my place but stopped at a prata shop near Clarke Quay to have our dinner. Irwin’s briyani rice turned out to be just plain white rice, whereas my two plain roti pratas were hard. We were served can drinks without ice and cup.

After we reached my place, Irwin took a cab home. It was around four AM when I reached home.

I had never been through a Valentine’s Day with a girl before but it did not affect my mood.

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Beach and Thai Disco

[Sunday, 20 May, 2007]

It was yet another tough work and I finally got to sleep at around 4am. I got up before 8am to go for my haircut appointment. After that, I came home, bathed and dozed off again after some work.

I overslept and did not give Weitat morning call on time but he did not wake up despite calling him at later hour. I went to Harbourfront’s Seah Lm food centre and waited there alone. Mingfa was only on his way to meet Wilson up and Anqi as usual, was still asleep. I could have waited and hopped onto Wilson’s car but I had to wait for Ken for I was the one inviting him to join us. He came along with Clarence and I realised I could have spent the time more useful by eating first since they did not want to take any food.

We went in by bus and that was the first time they took the bus directly to beach car park. We went to the hotel at Siloso beach straight away because Ken wanted to get changed whereas I needed to pee. After that, we met up with Wilson and Mingfa who had already arrived at our latest hot spot. This time, an extra third court was built but there was no court line.

Ken and Clarence started playing with my volleyball but I only sat down to rest and wait for the noon sun to descend. Mingfa, Wilson and I went to the 7-11 and got ourselves a cup of big gulp each.

Pinky

Fa Ge

Ken

Fa Ge again

Anqi’s digging

Clarence

Apple under shade

Pigson’s digging

Ball man

Pigson

Hang the clothe

Fa Ge

Tiffany

Clarence leaving

Pigson

Pigson again

We started playing on the court but soon, got drained out and left to rest under the shade. Da Zhang met up with us but left soon since we were not playing anymore. Tiffany and Apple arrived, followed by Anqi. I was rotting myself away most of the time under the shade and even gave up a chance to play on the court with outsiders because we had too many people.

Weitat digs like flying

Ken’s digging

Weitat sucks

Ken’s loving smile

Weitat arrived and I joined them to play lazily outside the court when Da Zhang returned. There were two bikini girls going for suntan during late afternoon and Weitat said one of them was my type but I did not get to see her closely. Tiffany left with Apple after 6pm. Afterwards, I started playing with camera. Wilson, Weitat, Mingfa and I got to play inside the court finally. I played defence as usual and did pretty well but Wilson seemed to be exhausted from the previous games already. We won the first match but lost to the second team with an excellent player.

Bikini Anqi

Group picture

Group picture 2

We queued up for another game but gave up soon since there were a few teams queuing in front of us already. Then, we went down to the water, had a good soak and crapped about a couple nearby.

After bathing, I went to Coffee Bean with Weitat. The rest of them, Mingfa, Anqi and Ken, took Wilson’s car and left for Golden Mile. Weitat treated me to a cup of Black Forest while he took Chocolate Belgiam, which was a better drink since I prefer chocolate. Together, we waited very long at the taxi stand at the Beach Car Park. Many peop
le in front of us gave up and thus we managed to proceed to the first in queue but there was no cab coming in. we finally decided to call for a cab for it was already 9pm and the rest of them were waiting for us to begin their dinner. Soon, a cab came over and we got up after the passenger alighted. Until we were near the destination, Weitat finally asked the cab driver how to cancel the previous booking for cab; it was too late already but Weitat insisted in trying.

The gang had their dinner at the Thai restaurant with another guy called Chun Guang. Weitat and I took the leftover food, which was very little. Each of us had to pay $17 each at the end and I thought that was wastage of money for I could have spent less money on something I would enjoy and could have my fill.

We went up to Wilson’s hotspot, the Thai Disco. I was very turned off to see Wilson and Anqi asking for cigarettes from Chun Guang. They started playing games but I did not join in since I did not want to drink. After some time, all of them left to collect stuffs from Wilson’s car and ease themselves at the restroom. I gave Chun Guang some faces and had a slip of the beer. Suddenly three Thai girls came over and I remembered clearly the bad encounters when I went to the pubs with Quek months ago. Luckily, the Thais were not as aggressive as the Pilipino. I was only taken advantage on the back of my right palm when one of them accidentally scratched it and started to “sayang” there while apologising to me. I was not able to “talk cock” with them like what Mingfa told me to, for my English was not good and their accent was kind of weird.

Fortunately, Mingfa came back and I decided to leave. Wilson was asking us to accompany him with Chun Guang but none of us wanted to stay. They tried to get Anqi and I to go back since Wilson could send us home after that but I could not stand the girls. Perhaps, I knew well they were not the type of girls I wanted and thus, I would not take them even for free.

Anqi and I walked along the road and made two left turn, finally reaching the familiar bus-stop at Beach Road. I waited there for her boyfriend to arrive in a cab and finally caught my bus and went home. Work was hectic.

Screwed Up My Interview

[Wednesday, 09 May, 2007]

I worked until 4am and waked up at 9am. I was so tired that I continued to laze around on the bed even though I had planned to make my morning really meaningful.

Later on, I waked up to find my certificates and even borrowed a tie from my brother. I went down to get the certificates photocopied and preceded to the Lippo Building, which was so near to my house. There was a sign asking all visitors to report to the security guard like any other office building but since I was wearing so formal, I tried to act like one of the workers and was alert enough to find the correct lift fast.

I was brought to a room to fill in my particulars. It was a tedious job. Soon, I was given two sets of tests for they wanted to find out whether I was more suited to become a designer or content publisher. I checked my phone and realised Carol had replied me saying that I needed not wear a tie. I was quite lost while taking the tests for I had forgotten most of the stuffs I learnt during polytechnic days. Even for simple programming, I needed more time to get them refreshed. I was brought to another room to be interviewed by the manager called Kan Seng who was friendly to me. However, I behaved too lack of confidence that I guessed the company would not call for me if there were many other interviewees. One thing I was sure was that the company was going to expand by recruiting more staffs and the manager obviously would regard me as an honest guy.

I went home and dozed off soon. My brother and his girlfriend arrived home afterwards and tried to disturb me from my sleep. Just as I thought I could spend the rest of the day to finish up my own stuffs like updating of my old blog entries and photos, I was told that there was a viewing in the evening and Mingfa had promised his friend to have a meet up, such that I was the only free person to handle it.

Jianhao called me when I was waiting at the void deck. I knew his birthday was around but I did not remember seeing it on my website’s calendar for this day was only the babe, Sherry Ong’s birthday. Since this day was not Jianhao’s birthday, I guessed it was the next day and that was why he had asked Mingfa and the rest out as well.

I got to chat with Yvonne, the agent, and her clients were late. They were satisfied with the house for they were really easygoing, except that they had old parents and needed to know about the polling of the lift soon.

I went to Lot 1 to meet Jianhao. I loitered around there and got myself a cup of bubble tea. I felt quite uneasy for I was wearing long sleeve shirt which I had wore for the job interview in the morning instead of wearing a polo tee.

I messaged both Mingli and Xinyi since they stayed nearby, but both of them were in school. Mingli promised to join us but I had to wait for Jianhao. Mingfa and Mingen were around Alexander Road. Since they were going to Halo Bar which was so near to Mingli’s location, I hurried them to go and meet up with Mingli first.

Cars are parked diagonally – so weird

Beautiful

When Jianhao arrived, we went to meet his client immediately. We actually needed to press the buttons on the lift to talk to the owner first but we went in directly. After the doors closed, we realised the buttons could not work except for the alarm bell, which did not stop after five minutes later.

Jianhao called his client who came down to meet us. That guy was actually a colonel and that was why he looked so calm and respectable. The way Jianhao explained his situation was not very direct. We only got to leave after some time and I was very worried for I did not want Mingli to wait for too long. Before leaving the condominium, Jianhao was chatting with another client who was so nagging and thus we had to waste longer time stopping at the roundabout.

Alas we set off to join the rest and I was glad that they had arrived and met up with Mingli. I did not want to take any alcoholic drink but Jianhao got five bottles of Heineken and I tried to finish one bottle, which turned my face red fast. All of them already had their dinner except me and I was forced to buy some chicken popcorn type of finger food with chicken wings, which cost $6.50 each.

There were a few other volleyball players as well and among them there was a girl with hot figure. There was a pool table and karaoke but I participle in none and not even in their dice game because I did not want to drink more.

I hope Mingfa would not start mixing with friends at pubs.

Wilson and Pauline are bad companies

There was this SMS from Wilson late at night, asking me if I wanted to go for drinks. At first, I thought he had quarrel with Pauline until I realised both of them were side by side.

They came down by CCK and I thought Mingen was with them but Jianhao was inside the car instead. So, the four of us went to a pub where Wilson’s sister worked at, along the road to Chinatown.

The atmosphere was weird and both Jianhao and I didn’t feel comfortable. Suddenly Wilson started to introduce the place was called MOX and it was a gay pub. Not discriminating gays, but I didn’t want to get too near to any. Things could get worse if any of them tried to get hooked up with us.

Pauline’s presence was a shield; at least I thought they would realise we weren’t part of their culture. However, I was in a white sleeveless shirt with a “69” logo behind, which might cause misunderstanding. Oh well, fcuk heck.

It wasn’t as bad when Wilson mentioned there were lesbians too and true enough, just a short distance away at the balcony with a transparent door intersection, there were these two girls sitting down there, and one of them was a babe. She was just nice at my angle but the darkness spoiled my enjoyment of the sight.

I had a glass of alcoholic drinks with a name of whatever “butt”. I felt it was strong as the first few slips already got my face burning. After a while, I needed not to look at the mirror to know my face was freaking red. I knew I couldn’t take it anymore after finishing the whole glass.

We left for MOS (Ministry of Sound) and that was my first time going there. I was checked on my pouch at the entrance but the guy wasn’t thorough afterall and there were nothing else for my spectacle and contact lens’ containers and a camera. We went in with the price of $25 which I thought was actually a waste of money.

The place was big and at least there were girls. I didn’t know if I were seeing things or all the babes had gone there, that half of the girls were quite pretty.

So, was it a trend for all the pretty girls to club? Maybe that was the reason why I was alone because I didn’t have the money and time to indulge myself in these places.

But there were too many couples to be envied of. Girls and guys were dancing intimately and hugging, kissing each other. Sometimes I started to wonder if they were real couples or just got hooked up on the spots. The guys were of course lucky asses.

There were also uncles who made me laugh at their actions. It was good to be young at their ages and so I had to change my mindset to such that old people did club as well. Luckily, I didn’t see any old grannies wearing sexily, trying to get some loves.

Though I hated the smell of smoke, I was more immune to it. For strangers yes I would try to withstand but certainly for friends I would preach and nag.

The first glass of drink was diluted or maybe I was already drunk that I couldn’t feel the power of the alcohol; my head was already numbed before leaving the gay pub. The second one was stronger and tasted better. I didn’t know their names because Wilson was the one exchanging the coupons for the alcohols when I knew nuts about them.

Dancing wasn’t nice as the previous time two years ago when I was Chinablack when I had more friends with me. Wilson was funny and Pauline paused to stare at him a few times. Sometimes I felt Jianhao and I were lightbulbs but Jianhao was luckier since he could have brought his girlfriend along if she wasn’t working or what.

The fat Malay girl who shook her butts so well didn’t impress me at all. Then, the uncle was the last survivor on the higher ground (I wasn’t sure of the term). After some time, it was crowded again.

Anyway, we were at the spot where there were fewer girls, though Pauline told me it was good to get crowded with girls so that I could rub their butts from time to time. But I would prefer a non-sneaky one.

It was good to get high once in a while, especially when nothing turned up good; however, not to the extend of drinking too much. I shouldn’t have taken the hot stuff at the gay pub afterall. We left MOS after spending around two hours there.

Wilson was great with his parking and he could drive after drinking as well. He drove us to a nearby place for supper. The first coffee shop claimed that there wasn’t any plain roti prata anymore and we knew it was bullshit; they just wanted to sell more expensive food. I preferred it to be plain since young, same for other food, no matter what delicacies could be added.

We moved further down to another shop then and it had such high technology with an ordering machine outside! For such casual place I didn’t expect much and that was the cause of my shockness. The more stunning part was the cost of just a plate of fish and chips – eight bucks. It was just a coffee shop and not a high class restaurant.

I was granted with my two plain prata but suddenly I felt so floated in my stomach. Then, I started to get very high. There was almost such a big delay of the alcohol effect. I wished I could finish them since they tasted nice but I couldn’t.

Wilson sent me home before going to Jianhao’s house to get three bottles of unfinished liquor before bottling up near Wilson’s place. Just as I got down the car besides the stairs to my lift, I vomited. I sat down at the stairs outside my house but the dizziness didn’t go away. I went in and then started to vomit again. After bathing, it came again.

They were so much better than the previous time during my birthday though I vomited three times as well. Similarly, the highness didn’t drive all the shit away from my mind.

Hellish smell and puke

It had been long since I last had a slip. By the time we went out, everyone had given red light except the four of us. My pretty birthday girl who used to celebrate every year’s birthday together with me was stuck at Huiyi’s house and couldn’t join us.

Since I was already quite shag and together with the cough effect, disappointment and Andy’s chewing gum, I didn’t have much to say.

I hadn’t drunk so fast and so much before. It was nothing at first until the alcoholic effect rose to my head and I was numb all over. My heart started to bump so fast. The pub girl came over to join in the fun, challenging me to more glasses. I knew I couldn’t take it anymore, but didn’t want to spoil the fun since the gathering was all for me.

No longer could I hear things sharply. She made me drink up one more glass to exchange for a kiss and I bottomed it up while my head was still swinging.

True enough, she came over by my side but my hesitation made use of the fact that I was drunk to rest my heavy head on the small table.

I tried hard each day to live my day to the fullest; I tried to be wild and rebellious, and never be the toy of love again. Though I had failed, I was no longer a little boy anymore; at least not so conservative to reject a free kiss from a babe.

She went on with her words and I never wanted to be looked down, nor would I want to lose this opportunity. I got up more for the sake of the thrill than the temptation, and waited to see what she was going to do. She thrust over and bended her head down to give a peck on my neck.

Luckily it was just the neck, even though I’d enjoy more if she moved upwards. It wasn’t good to take advantage of a girl who might be sacrificing just for her job. So, I realised I need to work harder to turn myself more bastard.

Severe recurrence came about my mind again. It was just my dream to get a kiss before my death during my secondary school days. I could sense how silly I was. A guy who could sweet talk fluently could easily get that from different girls and I was the fool trying to give my best sincerely and devotedly, sounding so uninteresting to gain any sympathy.

It was my promise to myself that I wouldn’t take alcohol anymore; even during parties or celebration, when my friends or mum offered me, I’d been disciplining myself well. I wasn’t a good drinker in the first place.

My first burp instigated some puke into my mouth. I threw up inside the toilet and thought it was over already. I didn’t drink anymore and we started playing Daidee. It was difficult to pick the cards up when my whole body was so numb and the bottle, jugs and glasses were blocking my view. I won a few games and stopped when my head got heavier.

After some rest, the sudden vomiting stink the place. My jeans were disgustingly decorated and I couldn’t walk out helplessly. Being supported out of the pub, I puked near the door immediately and then moved farther down to give another hellish shot on the ground, throwing up almost all my dinner. I could even see the black small seeds of the Dragon food I took before I left my house.

I gave off the last one, feeling so uncomfortable that as if I almost threw my lungs out as well. I kneeled down there with my hands, face, nose, pouch and shirt in a mess, and of course my jeans were the most pitiful one.

It was this cruel fact of life, that no matter how drunk I was, my mind was still functioning properly, which seemed like stabbing me so hard. Drinking was certainly not a good way to escape problems, because when you got so bad smell all over, suffering, looking worst than a stray dog, the sadness was still there.

I went back into the toilet to clean myself up. I had to take off my jeans to wash using the flush. It took so long to clear almost all the undigested stuffs away. The worst thing was to have an attendant inside the toilet to make me feel so awkward. He asked me the obvious question after I went in the second time and I smiled to him in my unpleasantness.

I got back to the seat, which was cleaned up already, except for the floor still having the obscene stuffs. I’d lost my sense of smell in my gruesome body. There were smells of puke, alcohol, as well as smoke. I began to shiver immediately.

I walked out from the pub, to farther down the road, where I sat there to rest. Andy came out soon but went in again to leave me alone. That was where I observed the night life.

Some people were supported out to puke, and even though they couldn’t even walk properly, they could hold it better than me and not do it inside the pub. Around a quarter of the girls I saw are gorgeous looking, half were average and the remaining was just slightly poor graded.

Was that the kind of life I should be seeking for? Since the world was wide and there were so many pretty girls around, why should I make myself suffer all these years? Since the holy and innocent looking girls often turned out to be bitches, why should I resume my ways of judging people?

My teeth were shivering the whole morning. I had my last puke just besides me, a little portion, but that didn’t make me feel comfortable enough.

At least I knew who the ones who were nice to me were. Four was a company.