Dear Dreams – Page 87

Life is a Bullshit – Society Needs the Paper – Toilet Paper

The words refused to go into my brain. I was not interested at all and thus, worsening the situation.

I threw away free marks for simple questions. I knew I was not going to do it well.

For the start, I knew I could hardly survive. I was simply going for the sake of the piece of paper. If it was not for it, I would have made better progress in my life. How cruel the society was, or rather, how undetermined I was to set this path in my life.

For all I know now, I must try hard not to use the paper in future, because the better man does things uniquely.

I could have Insisted and Done More

A form of regret in life is being unable to render help, or rather, not insisting to help.

When you ask him about his project, he assures that he has handled much bigger events before. You smile and feel relieve for you trust his ability.

He has done all well and impressively.

Nevertheless, there are always some minor requirements he may have left out, which may be significant to a different organisation where he is new to.

You feel shit because you realise you could have assisted him in some other means, which are essential, though would not contribute to the success of the event.

Kind people should all be given the torch to light up their paths, regardless of day or night. This is the way to promote beautiful life and to express our gratitude to them.

Trying to Study

The final two papers are on next Monday and Wednesday. I’m still feeling sick and not ready to study.

I have to start neglecting things to get my focus.

Teachers’ Day Celebration 2009

I was never able to return to my former secondary school for Teachers’ Day celebration since my polytechnic days. Thereafter, army and work had disrupted all my plans.

Last Monday’s Teachers’ Day celebration was quite disappointing. I was not expecting much but at least not students skipping school just to go back to their secondary schools. There was celebration in their current school and yet they did not even want to turn up. It clearly showed the weightage of the two schools to them – the former and the current.

Since I did not step into the classrooms regularly, I did not really mind but felt sorry for the rest of the staffs.

However, there were better incidents to be dwelled on. The first thing in the morning to see presents were really heart-warming. Wee Lian had given me a keychain while Diana excited me with a book on the classroom lectures of Yu Dan on Confucius. The book was in English while I already had the videos and contents in Chinese and it was an unexpected joy for me. The boss and big boss had never run out of ideas to give away presents during celebrations.

Hirman was the chairperson for the Teachers’ Day celebration community. Everyone pinned very high hopes on him due to his usual drive, joyous character and creativity. Somehow I wished he had not done it as well as we had anticipated for some of us had to embarrass ourselves with the Michael Jackson dance. It was terrifically fun.

It was definitely my last celebration.

Air-Conditioner Phobia

Since last week, my stomach was not feeling well. Followed by the sore throat was my bad backache and flu.

The weather was warm but the cold air-conditioner at night that was causing shivers in me upon waking up was more terrible. What was worst was the big air-conditioner spitting freezing air right on top of me in the office.

For the past few weeks I had been hugging my little pillow inside the office. I was not trying to act cute nor making the office cosy like my house obviously.

Curry was the Main Culprit

As I had expected, after the intensive curry-eating period, sore throat regained control over me. It was since Saturday morning, the pain started and I had a terrible weekend certainly. I had already tried to take less of it but it coordinated too well with all the heaty food that I had taken throughout the entire week.

VIP to the Max – Very Inconsiderate People

Everyone needs freedom, but freedom does not come easy when we have to consider for others. Each time, we should put ourselves in other people’s shoes.

What is so difficult about following a big group of friends to different stations when the initiate plan is to go and leave together? There is no rule to stay closely together, but at least, simply within the same location. What is so difficult about doing it? Why do people have to go opposite directions to disrupt the plan?

Can the entire group split into smaller groups to scatter around the big site? How bad would communication be when there are thousands of people walking around at the foreign place? What is the use of the tour guide then?

Are you proud to be the odd ones out? Are you trying to attract attention by such unique yet irritating manner? Oh yes, it is definitely easier to outshine by doing irritating things than to do things that benefit others.

If you were to lead a company of soldiers, they would perish due to your attitude and immature decisions. If you were just a normal soldier, you would cause the entire company to perish as well, because you simply do not follow instructions.

The funniest thing is to behave the opposite from disciplined soldiers inside an army camp. What a shame.

Getting Rid, As Many as Possible

I get quite disappointed for unable to clear up one of the pending work. Each tiny work simply piles up the mountain, stacking on my shoulders and brain.

I fail to shorten the list of existing tasks on my Gmail’s Task List and I’m quite irritated.

Sometimes we do not have a choice.

Wrong Decision Certainly

It was one of the worst days ever even though I was expecting the opposite.

Perhaps, I should not have hold on too tight to my principles and not expect for perfection.

Nevertheless, it proved well again that I had made a wrong decision.

“You can make money but you may not have the life to spend the money.”

The Lost Battle Again

I had one of the nicest lunches ever.

However, work was tearing me apart once again. The last minute things foiled my plan and got me wearier than ever.

I started to panic to recall all the past loads that almost crashed me completely, to realise that I might have made a terrible decision again.

It might not be as bad as what I could foreseen.

Nevertheless, I was ashamed of myself for not being firm with my earlier decision to release myself. Money had beaten my faith and dreams again.