If you are going to do anything for me, I would not ask for your clothes off, but for you to live a proper and meaningful life.
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Terrible Day
The terrible backache accompanied my day of torment. It was the first time I stayed out of office for nearly eight hours at work. My throat was dehydrated and sore.
It was my choice but I did not expect it to be so bad.
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Weekends Burning
I hate the weekends being burnt. The worst thing is to get both Saturday and Sunday rooted to the laptop.
It was all enthusiasm at first but all the torments have turned everything into a phobia.
My back aches badly, so bad that my brain cannot even function properly.
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Third Visit to Marina Barrage
There, I’m advancing alone again in my staggering steps. If I fall, will you pick me up and bring me to my destination, along the chaotic paths to the beautiful Barrage?
Two Saturdays ago, I finally went for a jog after missing it for countless months. I was sad that I could only use the excuse that both work and studies were pressing too heavily on me that I could not really afford the time.
Jingkun had inspired me so much to keep myself fit. It took me days of dozing off immediately from work to finally make my lazy steps on the road; the weather pardoned me as well. I got to use my new Nike arm pouch at last.
I had no confidence of completing the journey after working out continuously for the past few days; moreover, I had not jog for a long time. I did not bring my Ez-link card or any cash along because I never want to let myself have any excuse.
The route was filled with construction workers, mainly inclusive of those from Bangladesh and China. The air was badly polluted with all the constructions. I did not see any other jogger around, unlike in the past. The roads were uneven with paddles of water, which never seemed to be able to dry up, making the journey more difficult.
I was shocked upon my arrival. The place was crowded with people of all ages, and half of them seemed to be families, whereas the rest of the youngsters were probably classmates. There were more than twenty kites hanging in the air and of course, a couple of them seemed to be trying to hang people instead. All in my mind was a new horror movie – the kite killer. It was a new experience to see the large number of visitors. Apart from the grand scene, the quietness had been revoked.
The second to the beautiful scenery was the cute girls around. A couple of the girls’ outings definitely brightened up my eyes. It was one heaven other than SIM and The Cathay.
It was in the early six and my body was dried up by the strong wind. I missed the days I left my previous job, living carefree and having to jog to Marina South Pier any time I wanted. The tranquility brought poetry back to life.
晨雨清凉，随心而静，让风一睹我逍遥过！
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Feeling Weak
I had been dozing off in the past few days, leaving my system on overnight.
The worst thing was to wake up early in the morning and started knocking out again soon, but to regain conscious only after noon and was late for my project meeting. My body was too exhausted and I even felt giddy and brain block for very long.
I need to doze off even earlier on my free-will and not accidentally dozing off.
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The Commitments and Principles
I never wish to set myself into greater commitments but good choices are often limited. Here I stagger in again, deeper and deeper. I try to battle the stress with craziest cheers, but soon to realise that laughers require strength as well. It’s only me and my principles, but often to contradict with my exhausting heartbeats. Everyday I reprimand myself and tell myself I need to stop soon.
I’m too shagged to talk and open my eyes.
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Saturday Early Morning
Last Saturday, I finally revisited the Chinese physician for my weak stomach. My mum wanted to go for acupuncture and thus she remembered that I needed to go back to get medicine. I was quite busy but also lazy to go back before that.
I was stunned when she went to my neighbour right before going to the lift. We had to wait for a while for this auntie who often dialed my house’s phone early in the morning even though she was staying only a few doors away.
It was a pathetic wait this time. Every old people seemed to be early and I suspected they waited at the door before the operational hours began.
It took quite some time for the acupuncture and the heavy rain stopped for us. Other than buying food, my mum also did some marketing and I had to accompany her.
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Teambuilding Games
Last Friday was the teambuilding event. I took half day off from boss in the morning since it would be redundant to travel to the west and to the east after that. It was the only off I took during the entire holidays.
I had a long rest while waiting for Jingkun to call me. I did not have much appetite and could only force myself to crave for a Mc Chicken burger. I was on my way to the bus-stop at Keppel road and decided to give a try at the MacDonald’s at Shenton Way. The brisk walk started my draining day and I was glad to reach the bus-stop before Jingkun. However, on the way, I remembered there was a drive-through MacDonald’s at East Coast Park and felt very stupid.
The entire event was quite fun, although it was under the sun and not everyone was enthusiastic about it. I was glad enough to group with Dorothy, Magdalene and Joy since they were among my best clicks. We started off with thinking of a team name and decorating a banner, and we got the highest votes. Next game was to fetch water using plastic bags from the sea and collecting them from a distance away using a piece of towel swung over by two members. I got my bottom wet since I went deeper into the water as the plastic bags started floating away. We emerged the champion group again.
One of the games was called off due to time constraint. We started sandcastle and kite making, as we separated ourselves into two groups. I fetched the water over from the sea for more than ten times and got myself exhausted before direct hands-on with the sandcastle. I was quite certain that our sandcastle topped the competition, however, the nicely decorated kite could not kick off in the air.
My team emerged the overall champion among the four games. I was very excited to receive the prize but it dragged on and I almost thought there was none. Everyone started leaving during the barbecue session once they got their stomachs filled. In the end, the call for the prize presentation caught my weary body.
I was very disappointed when I realized the prizes for all positions were the same; I felt our efforts were totally thrashed. It was not about the value of the prizes but the identification of our commitments.
The day was fun with all the friends around, especially the splashing of water with Hirman and Magdalene.
Since Jingkun left before the prize presentation, I took a lift from Dorothy instead together with Mrs Lui. She dropped me at Cantonment Link and I was more than happy with it.
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Helpless in the Dream
Because the horror was going to begin again, my emotion was all tensed up, mixed and lost.
Last Friday morning, I woke up a couple of times and in the midst of one of the sleeps, I had a dream, or rather, a nightmare.
I was on my way to work and I felt weak out of a sudden. My discomfort halted me at around Queenstown. I seemed to collapse and lost my conscious until more than four hours later and I was extremely late for work. I was not feeling well still and since Mei Hoe stayed nearby, I tried to contact her but to no avail. I was panic because it was ridiculous for me to be late for work for almost half the day. Somehow, I managed to meet up with some friends later and I was brought to a weird building or sheltered bridge. Everyone was dashing through it and I wanted to make it back to the office fast, hence joined in the run. It was not an uncommon scenario where my legs could not catch up with my mind; no matter how much energy I used, I could barely cover a few centimeters.
It was one of the worst feelings I had and had been encountering in my dreams where I was too helpless to do anything.
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Long Hours of Meeting
I managed to pull through my Sunday outside when I was not feeling well. The usual weekend burnt was back again for my studies.
As Soon Siong had predicted, the meeting would drag for an hour before everyone was present. We met up at the usual place, at The Cathay Starbucks, but the seats with power source were all taken up and the guests did not seem to be leaving after standing there together with Soon Siong for nearly forty-five minutes. A group of youngsters were playing Dota while another ang moh lady occupied two tables with five chairs, and she reminded me of those Dracula shows in her red and curly hair.
We moved to SMU where Jeremy met up with us. Jeremy and I formed a recce team in search of a better place. We shifted to the accountancy’s study table to realize that there was no Wireless@SG connection. After wasting so much time, we set off for early dinner at the Kopi Tiam across the road after some discussion. I had a big plate of char siew rice, which was very rare, yet I was not full after finishing the entire plate. It was probably due to the bad diarrhoea the night before. In fact, I was feeling very weak, moreover, with the muscle aches from the continuous days of sports for the past few days.
We moved to the first level of SMU after dining. I bought a cup of soya bean drink and Jeremy soon admitted that he could not withstand the heat. We decided to move to some café instead of going down to the SMU’s basement that was secluded from the free internet access.
Our first station at the Coffee Bean café was a disappointment with the number of students occupying the tables. After that, we decided to try our luck back to our usual meeting place again. We split into two tables until the sofa seats were empty, and we finally merged together as a team. I was exhausted by the. This day, Andy seemed to have come to enlightenment that he managed to spot some major flaws, which we could have improved a lot. I was very glad that he had pointed them out, but at the same time, I was very disappointed with the continuous changes of our project game play. It had been months and we had been making major changes for almost every meeting. We were too short of time.
I tried to read up about the sockets notes given by Jingkun in my tiredness and discomfort body, and it spelled only exhaustion. I had been missing Java programming for years and the basics were enough to give me problems.
The meeting lasted until 10.30pm and the preparation for the next day was a phobia and caused frustration.
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