Dear Dreams – Page 86

My New Chinese Medicine

The first thing when I reached the office was to take my new Chinese medicine.

The cap was tightly closed but there seemed to be a leakage of the medicine. I was horrified when I saw the inner of the pill’s packet wet. It was sealed and was supposed to be airtight.

I was so experienced in drinking directly from the bottle that I did not bother to fetch a cup. Nevertheless, skill alone was never enough to handle the liquid this time that they started dripping by the side of the bottle instead of flying into my mouth. Within less than a second, my hand was wet and I recapped instantly that I was wearing a white t-shirt.

The medicine was very different from the usual ones. It seemed to be less saturated, yet sticky, or maybe, heavier.

Luckily, I had extra clothes with me for the next day’s volleyball game.

We Cannot Accommodate Everyone

No matter how hard we have been trying to be helpful, we cannot understand how others would judge us. There may be jealousy or misunderstanding, which we are unaware of.

Sometimes, we do get neglected. Then, we start wondering have we done anything wrong.

The images of me in the eyes of others may be too much of a big concern to myself.
Too much thought and concern for others has restricted me from doing things. There have been excess self-blaming and it simply belittles self-confidence.

I realise it does not make much of a big difference for nobody can do everything correctly nor accommodate everyone.

Work and More Work

Works are coming in from everywhere, both official and unofficial. I’m feeling the stress.

The worst thing is that I have no mood to get started.

I can only blame myself for choosing this path and hopefully it would end three months later.

Cupboards in front of the Train Doors

At Dhoby Ghaut MRT station, when I was getting out of the train at the purple line (NEL), everyone was standing on or behind the yellow lines. There were however two Indians standing right in front of the doors when obviously there were many people waiting to get out of the train.

I hardened all my chest muscle that I had left after slacking for almost a year and walked straight once the doors opened, without any intention of giving way to the two dogs who were trying to squeeze in before the rest.

Obviously, passengers getting into the train should make way for those who were getting out. These bastards were selfish and thoughtless that they would only care about themselves at the expense of others. These brainless creatures were simply lengthening the time taken for all passengers in regardless of moving into or out of the trains.

I felt so excited for a few seconds when I banged into the male dog, as he was pushed forty-five degree by the impact. He turned and stared at me and that made me even more joyous. I was feeling so strong at that point of time and I wished he would be a firm ass.

I could have taken out my phone and do a video taking but I was simply lazy and the doors would have opened before I activated it.

Actually, there were two staffs just a door away, but they did not seem to be doing anything. As transportation fee raised and we had to fork out more from our money, we were actually feeding those useless bums. Of course, most of the staffs did show enthusiasm in their work, but there were a few obvious black sheep among them.

Break Needed

Old task ended and new task arrived. There was never sufficient time for ample rest before new cycle began.

It had been nearly two years since I stuffed my brain with unrest.

I’m desperate for a long break.

Turn Bad Situations into Best Situations

The world is big and choices are plentiful. There are wrong and bad options and we tend to make mistakes at times. As long as we learn from our failures and do our best in future, it does not matter even if we continue to be the losers in other people’s eyes. Life is like playing mahjong: if you do not have the luck of having good hands, at least try to minimise the loss.

Volleyball and Late Dinner at Newton

I had a great Thursday after so many months of dull days. I stayed alone inside the office until Tze Khit called me. I met him up at the canteen before Kachua joined us.

Volleyball was fun. I felt good that I did not do as lousy as the previous time to disgrace myself again. My team lost most of the matches but we played with fighting spirit, which was more than satisfactory.

We went to Newton for late dinner and I started digging into the remaining of my chicken cutlet, which Weitat bought for me just right before the volleyball game.

It was the first time I took Tze Khit’s van and Kachua’s Malaysian car, on the way to the hawker centre and then my house.

It was one of the greatest nights ever with the companion of so many volleyball-mates. Even though we were lack of many others and could never get together in a larger group, the night was awesome enough.

Help or Not?

It really hurts when your friend who has not contacted you for very long time suddenly messages you just for help. It is sad but you really have to think over your importance in his or her heart; are you just a tool or real friend? It is never a new thing to me but I still have not learnt to turn a blind eye.

Will you be soft and grant the help?

What will happen if you ignore? Problems would eventually be solved and life goes on. The difference is just whether you would be taken for granted again in future or not.

Cold Joke at Wrong Time

When loners feel bored, they usually try to find some ways to capture attentions, especially at the expense of hurting or tarnishing others’ reputation.

Inside an office with a number of strong air-conditioners, even during a warm day, the direct hitting from the air-conditioners would probably freeze a person sitting under them.

When he is repeatedly being asked by his colleagues to move over to their seats, for crap stories or helps, which he cannot reject, a causal sarcastic yet brainless joke would probably boil his blood.

“Do you know why you are so cold? It’s because you have nothing to do.”

Usually, people do not see beneath their sights, or rather, they choose to see only the things they wish to see. They do not see the agony of others and their hard work.

Gone are the Exams

Days of mugging are never something that I would want to experience again. Now that I am left with the final year project, I can concentrate better; or at least, I can do better than taking two modules together with the FYP at the same time.

There are many things that I wish to do but never have the time to touch at all; I have given up many of my routine work. The sacrifice is too big that I feel so lost.

Gone are the exams, gone are my sights.