“Teacher, now is not school time, pharmacy relax (must relax), stop talking about very deep stuffs.”
85 after Volleyball
Tuesday’s volleyball was fine except that I did not play as well as what I had expected. It was probably not because of the recovering finger but the phobia and the expensive chicken rice caused burpings throughout the entire game.
After the game, Weitat drove Mingfa, Jingkun and I to Bedok 85 where we met up with Wilson and Ruoci who took cab down. We were planning to go somewhere to buy ice-cream since we thought we would arrive earlier but it ended up we lost the race; cab drivers could be really reckless on the road. We were missing Mingli somehow since she went for chalet in the midst of the game earlier.
It was a great night somehow when I could see some things had reverted to normal and I enjoyed the gatheringness. I missed the days when we went out in very big group especially after volleyball.
I made a sinful choice of taking chicken chop, knowing that my mum had already cooked. Feeling guilty yet did not want to miss out the fun, it caused hesitation.
The heavy rain cooled the night but it made driving tougher for Weitat from the East to West.
The Babysitters
If you happen to see three teachers removing the tiles from the platform and digging around the floor and dusty underground for silver and not gold, you will probably laugh till you drop.
I guess they are more of babysitters.
Lack of Focus
I have been busy scripting daily for the past week. The amendments along the way are quite demoralising. Initial plan will never be completely stick to, and changes are inevitable; change for the better.
There is however this great problem of lack of focus which is holding things back, or rather, simply slowing everything down. I have been fighting losing battles all these years and as more things start pouring in, the responsibilities massacre my abilities.
Slowly, I begin to realise I have been neglecting many things and people, including my hobbies; but I have yet to achieve.
记得我的好
在这数亿的人群中，你是否曾忽略了周围的人？过去的点点滴滴、某某人对你的善待与包容，是否已随着岁月的摧残，风沙的流失，而烟消云散？你又是否还记得以往未实现的承诺？
我几乎在这些年的战役中全军覆没。时间俘虏了我的青春、希望、欢笑。孤军作战的寂寞、彷徨与疲累折腾着，在离开众人的视线里找寻生存。就是那么吊儿郎当，那么的无助，却坚持着信念，常常又被自己的执著击败。
我无才，就只有一颗爱莫能助的热心；我无功，就只能用一张笑脸激发四周的幸福。没有特地地露出善意，没有装作的行为，丝毫一点都不起眼。
明日如果我见不着阳光，希望你还记得我的好，就一丝丝的特点也可以。
Dragon Boat
Once again when I tried to take a little rest for my back lazily, I dozed off without setting the alarm clock. I had more sleep than usual then, but in exchange for a very rush morning to pack up.
There was no preparation work done and I hardly knew what was going to happen next. It was a fresh morning with lots of smiling faces. The travelling distance was far.
I got another shock of my life at the seaside; nobody had informed me to bring an extra pair of shoes and then we all moved into the water. My legs were soaked and drenched totally.
It was my first try on the dragon boat. It was definitely not as flexible as kayaking but the strength of the united power was enormous. A pity for the journey delayed that we could not go on longer and the short enjoyment was never enough.
After the short tanning session, I was left helpless with my wet shoes.
Smile a Hatred
I dreamed a little too much at times to stir up my frustration, and to realise things were unlike expected. I sank in a little too much before I could piece up my feeling, and the compass refused to stable.
The exhaustion worsened my mood when I hardly could raise any smile. I felt some heavy burdens out of nowhere and there was not much time I could take a break.
It was totally not a good day for volleyball. Despite how my finger was bandaged like a big white sausage, I could never get rid of the pain in my heart. It continued to hurt indeed but strong willed men could easily overcome the phobia.
There was not much I could do before the furiousness shone in the darkest night, erasing the strain on the injured part, to stimulate courage. There was hardly any chance to vent my sudden drive and to prove that anger had brought back what I had been missing all these months.
It was never a good day for the newly dealt injuries. For each time I smile in future, the hatred would surface.
Stoning on the Chair
Another late working night caused the exhaustion yet again. Sleeping at five in the morning and waking up before seven was a torture. I was breaking the rules again by bringing work home.
By the end of the day, I was beaten by the long hours of struggling and disappointments. I dragged my feet to the hall and sat by the side for some time before knocking off into deep sleep.
Mingfa woke me up soon and I got changed. The rest of them arrived in a while and after Mingfa settled the girls down, all of them went to jog while I stayed behind to train the newbies. It was pretty boring since there was nothing much to do before they could start to dig better. As usual, I exerted myself more than anyone of them.
After seven, Weitat, Mingli, Jingkun and I started playing two on two. I was completely a handicap with my sprained index finger because it affected me on digging when I could not hold my fingers together properly, and also, on both setting and spiking. The pain on my right shoulder somehow decided to kiss me again. Weitat and I won the first game but eventually lost when Mingfa took over Jingkun’s place.
When the real game started as our opponents arrived, I missed the first game. This day’s system was unlike Saturday’s one and we could not stay on for another game even if we won the first game; and therefore, we gave up after playing the second game and went for dinner at Clementi.
I reached home after eleven and soon, dozed off on the floor while watching Yudan’s show about “Zhuang Zi”. My mum woke me up at around three in the morning and I started stoning on the chair, half asleep and half deciding and choosing on what to do next – the exhaustion obviously killed many brain cells but my consistency on doing my work at late hours kept me struggling to stay awake. After some time, I finally gave up and went to brush my teeth before going to bed.
This was one of the very rare days which I would sleep for long hour; however, was not uninterrupted sleep.
My Current Focus
I have purchased a new domain name. The site must be up as soon as possible before any big one comes out to dominate the market first.
I have been working on it non-stop for the past few days. I want to finish it by this month or latest before the upcoming “school holidays” ends. Will it be possible?
I need to complete the “quit smoking” one and also, work on the one Gilbert has been waiting for. Tze Khit is waiting for me as well, and we need to think and do something big.
I need the time and concentration.
Sometimes I feel lonely because I never seem to be able to get out of this unaccomplished life. I have been working and yet nothing significant is shown.
Volley My Anger Away
One of the main reasons I love volleyball is that I’m able to vent my anger on the ball. Ever since my injuries dominate and especially the lack of practice after my operation back two years ago, there are not many glorious days for good games.
As much as the pain on my right shoulder sympathizes on me, I manage to at least get my servicing forceful and consistent.
Last evening wrote a complete different story. My mind was occupied with injustice throughout and the gasp of anger blocked my chest. It was not my sprained index finger’s fault but the urge to punish a law abuser who was left scot-free. I allowed my emotion to take full control and my servicing went rocketing out of the opponents’ court.
It was not all bad after all since I was much more vigilant than usual, neglecting all my pains. It was a pity that my noise could not really raise everyone’s spirit. It seemed quite dull at times but I did not stop trying.
Volleyball created miracle once again; after the games, I realised my mood had improved due to the diversion of attention.
That night, I took a little rest before changing my shirt at the hall and left straight away without smoking inside the toilet. The refusal to inhale the second-hand smoke was not for prolonging my own life, but to ensure that I had a healthier body for my remaining days.