Simple life, simple food

I have been chewing on very plain food for more than a week. At first was all porridge until I questioned my mum, she changed it to rice.

Actually, I am quite enjoying this life because at least I am eating all healthy food; I used to eat oily takeaway food daily. There is no chicken or seafood and everything is so simple now.

A few days ago, I had rice with soup which tasted very nice; inside was all vegetables, fishballs, fishcakes and meat balls. It was kind of like a steamboat without all those “complicated” ingredients.

29 September, 2006: Simple is sweet

30 September, 2006

Long Unpublished Comments

I just get a shock of my life again as I am browsing through my Blogger account. I click on the “Moderate Comments” button and see thirteen unpublished comments.

I am really sorry because all along the comment function is set to non-moderated until this early morning; I played with the new beta Blogger’s setting. I have not received any email in the past as well to inform me of the approval of the comments.

Please pardon me.

Since Blogger has begun a Beta version of its new service, I believe things will be better in future.

The pain continues

After more than a week of careful dressing, there is still discharge and blood on the lowest portion of the wound.

It is disgusting to imagine how deep the wound is.

My mum has bought various medical items (antiseptic, dressing, tape, Chinese medicine… etc) just for the wound; each night before she goes to sleep, she will help me to redress it.

I am beginning to feel so cheated that till now I am limping and the pains have immersed into my life.

Am I supposed to walk now when the blood cots are still there and there is still discharge on the wound? Why are there sharp pains beneath the skin now and then?

How many days of my life can I waste more?

ORD Day – Revived My Freedom

[Friday, 29 September, 2006]

Pink is the man!

My projected ORD (Operation Ready Date) date is 30th September, 2006, which was brought forward since it was a Saturday.

I was limping still but I took this great courage to travel alone all the way to Choa Chu Kang by public transport – train. Then, Hong Kiat was supposed to pick me up from there. Waking up at around 0700h, I was supposed to meet him at 0900h but I reached at 0820h instead.

I was not so crazy for my pink I/C (identification card) because I simply had no special feeling over it; perhaps, problems like my leg and money were more important issues somehow, which had neglected my freedom’s mood. Anyway, I had been idling at home since after this year’s National Day (9th August, 2006).

Most people would definitely take a cab down directly but for me, I wanted to save money and test my limit. My main purpose to fetch my I/C so quickly instead of waiting for a better recovery was none other than to show Protein my condition; at least this would give her an impression of how I had been suffering for more than a year. Next reason was of course to have companion of Hong Kiat.

We went to the Terrestrial store immediately to get back our clearance forms. I was surprised but glad that almost all the empty slots had been signed; the CSOs were nice guys. Then, Hong Kiat drove me over to the HG SIG building to get his last two important signatures signed, which he failed to find the last person. Then, we went to return our camp pass first.

He drove back to the parade square and I went up to the AVA room to visit my buddies. They rearranged the furniture again. It was a disappointment that Yuqing was on leave. I got to chat with some of them before going up to room #3-1 to see the new “office”, which was kind of a heaven since not many people knew that room was in operation already. I stayed there to surf the net for a while before Hong Kiat called and we proceeded on with our last two stations.

I walked all the way down and across the road to the main building. I proceeded directly to the TRMS office and got Protein to sign my clearance. The only good thing I liked about her was her attitude when talking face to face. She did try to get information about what I was doing back then before clearing leave and she sounded it like putting a signaller at AVA was waste of manpower. I told her the requirement and could have said more if my leg was not hurting me tremendously.

As I got my plaque and certificate, and was leaving the office, I finally got to see Shep. She was impressed with my looks now though I was always the same. It hurt me somehow when she repeated her assumption that I hated her. She had always being motherly to me and I had only hated her for a few days when we first worked together as she doubted my words that the seniors were abusing their powers; I could not really blame as well since I did not want to mention the individual evil-doing as to not hurt anyone.

As Hong Kiat and I got to the administration office, our final station, Gary told me I had to get a copy of the Dental FFI status slip, which the medical centre had given me the wrong piece (they gave me Hong Kiat’s medical FFI status slip instead). Hong Kiat helped me to go over to the medical centre after I gave them a call. Everything was done after that and my long lost I/C was retrieved; surprisingly I had no special feeling still.

My legs were almost wrecked by then; my left leg was numb whereas my right ankle seemed to be smashed as I had been depending on it too much. I met Kengster and Yuwei just as Hong Kiat drove his car up so that I needed not travel for long distance. He dropped me at Choa Chu Kang MRT.

That was this great disappointment that I did not get to see my “sister”, who stopped replying me suddenly as usual. I wanted to take a picture with her or even had lunch together but she only replied me when I was halfway home.

Singaporeans had once again given me a bad impression again for I had to stand all the way with my crutches; none of the passengers was kind. A couple who boarded at Dover flirted right in front of me, which was unbearable as I had to look out of the windows all the while.

After alighting at TG Pagar MRT station, I almost collapsed. It always took less than five minutes for me to reach the void deck of my house but this time it was near half an hour. Even my arms were too tired to move the crutches and each step was so small. My left leg was near total numbness and I was helpless totally.

I could not help but to imagine myself as Zhang Qian in the Han Dynasty, who travelled long distance in the desert in the show of Han Wu Da Di (http://sillydumb.blogspot.com/2006/09/han-wu-da-di.html). The shabbiness and pains turned me pale. However, the soon arriving Vivi lighted me up a bit.

I survived. It was an impressive effort and determination, which I would never try again.

I missed the ROC trip

[Tuesday, 26 September, 2006]

It was another ROC (Taiwan) trip for the SOCC cadets from Signal Institute again. I missed the time I had there previously.

Siu Hang was lucky to be selected to go with them this time but he had repeatedly dropped me questions once in every few days. The worst time was when I was hospitalised and feeling so helpless, I had to reply him. Nevertheless it was my wish and pleasure to help my good friend.

Anyway, I told him to get me a carton of Pork bowl noodle but it seemed like they were not allowed to order anymore to put into the container to be transported back to Singapore. It was a disappointment since I wanted to share those “powerful” bowl noodles (with meats inside) with my friends who had never been to Taiwan.

Just hours before the plane was taking off as I was feeling crappy, I sent a message to my friend, Captain Phua, who I got to know through my previous trip. I tried to tease him that I hoped he would not be alone during the R&R (Relax and Recreation) trip.

He replied me, “Why would i? I’m not even going. Haha… I’ll be on course, so not going.”

It is the pain all around

A joke too obvious is still never a joke.

Because I am a fool, I never know what a girl wants.

I am never a crazy fan of a person who performs, except someone who shows worthiness and bravery.

I despise on people who express themselves without using any brain at all.

I am a weakling who is easily muted by pains and sorrows.

My effort to light up the nights always turns disastrous.

I am sinned, I am curses, and I cannot walk but limp.

Beware of borrowing library books

[Wednesday, 27 September, 2006]

I borrowed two books from Woodlands library more than a month ago and managed to renew them at Bukit Merah library. The latest expiry date was on 27th September, 2006.

But since I just took an operation and was not able to travel long distance, especially to take bus, I had anticipated about the problem.

I surfed the internet for the web address of the library and saw this function which I could renew the books. I also realised renewing them required $0.50 each, which I did not notice at the machine at Bukit Merah library previously. I decided to renew the books again on the day of expiry, despite spending another dollar.

On the day itself I saw to my terror when the website did not seem to be able to accept the command. I called the number given on the same page and it was interesting, except that I took quite some time to get to talk to the operator. She told me I was not allowed to renew the books the second time. I explained about my difficulties in walking but she claimed that I could get someone to return the books for me. I was stunned at the moment and since it was pointless to talk on to seek pardon, I thanked the lady before putting down the phone.

The small fine was affordable but I was not satisfied that that web page did not include the importance of unable to renew the book the second time, which had led to the fine. It kind of tarnished my reputation for returning books late.

My saviour Kaelyn Ang, previously Pauline Ang, came for a home visit for my injury. We had a very long chat while my leg and back were in pains. In the end, she left with my two heavy books to return to the library for me. I supposed I would get a day of fine then. Luckily the books could be returned to any library and not the original one.

Efforts in vain

[Monday, 26 September, 2006]

I finally made some efforts to get jobs.

There was an advertisement “Temp Event Promoters x 300 (On 1st Oct 06) Urgently Required”, which Terry had told me about it before it came out as advertisement. Gilbert searched the web and found it later. The responsibility was “Wearing the company T-shirt to walk around Orchard area promoting their company”, which was so simple and fun.

I wanted to apply for it with Gilbert and Terry even before my operation but was not sure if I could walk by the actual date. This $50 job was so alluring even though I was not sure how long the working hour was; it just seemed so simple.

So fascinated by it, I used the “Click here to apply” button to express my interest in the job but had received no reply.

Another job was introduced by Mingfa who saw it on the newspaper on Sunday. There was not much information but I was quite happy to hear “with or without experienced”. It was a web design job for Pearl’s Centre and since it was so near my house, I really wished I could help them attract more visitors and could proudly tell my mum about my credits in future.

The person replied my SMS with an email address. I started cracking my head to edit my previous resume done during Ngee Ann Polytechnic days. There was not much achievement and I was quite ashamed and reluctant to submit. It dragged on till eleven plus at night, that person messaged me again to email my resume and expected salary over.

Gilbert was just nice to come online and I sent him my resume with the “cover letter”. He explained to me that my format for the resume was outdated already. He sent me his and I started cracking my head again to edit it.

It was until at around one plus, I concluded that his format was far too untactful for my situation since his resume focused more on his uncountable distinction grades. I sent my earlier one to the given email address. Perhaps, I was too honest that I explained about my leg’s condition, which added in the problem of not receiving any reply again.

A painful sleep

I had a very hard time dozing off. I tried all positions and even not let the calf touch anything, it still hurt. It was a feeling of my inner calf tearing apart. The pain was indescribable but it recited the beginning of cramps; the irritation caused fears as well.

I woke up many times and each time it took quite long before I could get into my dreams again. I regretted messaging Andy to wish him happy birthday at midnight as he replied me early in the morning before the sun greeted me.

The whole operated leg, below the knee was still swelling. There were blood clots (blue black) on both sides of the foot just above the heel, which were about four by two centimetres. There was discharge on the bottom of the wound every night when my mum redressed the wound. My calf was unusually freezing.

Blood clot on the right of my left foot

Blood clot on the left of my left foot

The wound with discharge on bottom

I do not know what is inside my calf now; imagine the doctor removes a ping pong ball size of tissues from your calf, what is left to fill the hollowness? When the bulk of blood vessels are removed, are the rest joint together or the supply of blood on that portion is terminated forever?