Some things just seem to move on smoothly until the very last minute. I have yet learnt how to handle disappointments.
I become restless, lost and confused.
I do not want to care anymore.
The Weirdest Mothers' Day
Every year, my family would go for dinner together on Mothers’ Day. Since my mum’s birthday was just a few weeks before Mothers’ Day, we would normally focus more on her birthday instead.
This year, my brothers and I had spent large sum of money during my mum’s birthday for the Hong Kong trip and therefore, Mothers’ Day’s celebration was somehow “forfeited”.
On the day, my elder brother was still at cold war with my mum and my younger brother went for his friend’s birthday celebration, leaving me alone with my mum. In order not to disappoint her, I accompanied her to Chinatown for dinner.
We had sting ray for dinner. Since the hawker told us we had to wait very long, I went around looking for finger food and got some Shui Guo, and durian flavour’s Tang Yuan. Before we could finish everything, we ordered Rojak from the stall owner who passed by. Together with the sugarcane juice, my stomach was so bloated. It was a dinner well-spent; it was cheaper than a single person’s bill at a normal restaurant.
We went to CK to shop around for a while and I finally got myself a sleeveless shirt. Things were cheap there but I supposed they were old. Since nothing else was to my liking, I chose not to waste my wardrobe’s space.
My Paradise – Marina South Pier
I marked my fourth trip down to Marina South Pier alone last Saturday. On this very quiet Saturday, after slacking and rotting, I finally decided to leave the house after 6pm. I should be leaving house much earlier so that I could stay there longer but it was good enough that I could make my way out of the house.
As I crossed the road to the side of the Singapore Conference Hall, two sweet girls were in front of me, walking towards Marina South. Luckily that they turned around to ask me and I showed them the direction to their actual destination – Lau Pa Sat. In fact, I knew it was already quite late to go jogging and I even thought of guiding them to their destination and giving up on my jog. Perhaps, the beauty at Marina South Pier exceeded the beauty of the girls.
Along the same old path, holding my old torn phone pouch which the zip was already totally damaged, with the music, I jogged to my loneliness, missing the days I had with my comrades. The air pollution had increased as the construction work moved on, and even the roads were dusted by the sand floating and grinding in the atmosphere.
I took a seat on the floor at the cooling place. The crowded area on this Saturday quite disappointed me. There was a couple taking photos around, jumping in front of the camera to capture their moments in the air, caused much jealousy. A tent by the edge with two policemen under also somehow spoilt the scenery. Slowly, I lay down on my back to enjoy what was left over, the wonderful air wheezing by my ears, the soft cheering of the waves hitting the banks, I felt so relaxed. The visitors were too comfortable to leave the place and until dusk broke in, everyone seemed to be clinging to the tranquillity of the superb mankind’s creation.
When the sun had completely left the scene, I picked up my lazy legs and reluctantly bid my paradise goodbye. I had to leave, and I had to get back to reality, because works were piling up to haunt my dreams.
Volleyball on a Friday
We had a last minute decision to play volleyball on last Friday night; I was dying to go home to finish up my website, but in order not to disappoint everyone, I joined them.
I went home to pack up my stuffs and left immediately after having toilet meeting. On the speed faster than my usual quick pace, I hurried to my destination, causing the weakness on my legs. It was a repeated mistake caused by my ignorance. Perhaps, I should jog over instead of doing the ultimate brisk walking.
I was yet again another handicapped man. This time round, we had really nice figure to form a team without anyone having to sit outside the court. I let Mingfa down a couple of times. In fact, my legs almost cramped right after the first few jumps. We wanted to stay behind after the rest were gone but we were simply too tired to play well.
Dinner was at Commonwealth. Mingfa drove us to Weitat’s house to collect Weitat’s dad’s car and we went to return Mingfa’s sister car before proceeding to fill our stomachs. Before that, we barged into Hort Park where I was amazed with the scenery; everything was great except that it was already near midnight and I could not do photography there.
We had Wantan noodle on this very cosy night. The togetherness was very heart-warming. Life would be very great if every night was similar and that we did not have dreams to fulfil. I wished to enjoy these very peaceful nights where I could feel the happy souls, where friendship overwhelmed, as much as possible, because one day we might eventually part.
Switched from HTML to PHP
It took me quite long to finally switch my entire website from HTML to PHP due to the programming method.
All the while I was using IFRAME and probably nobody could notice it if he was using Internet Explorer; Firefox lovers had serious problems viewing the website. Occasionally I had also been amending the website’s coding to synchronise with both Firefox and Internet Explorer, and thus, if you had been observing the site carefully, you most likely would have found some small improvements in Firefox’s view for certain features.
Since the scripting method I had been using depended too much on the frame, it was a very tedious progress to switch.
What are actually done?
– Entire site is changed from HTML to PHP
– All coding is amended to suit both Firefox 2.0 and Internet Explorer 6.0
– Internal site structure is improved for easier future update
– Menus and submenus are shifted and improved
– Scripting and presentation for various pages are improved
Shifting to PHP also means that I would be shifting from Blogger to WordPress in near-to-come. Next progress is to edit and update the contents. Stay tuned.
Meanwhile, please highlight if there is any error.
Work in Progress
In case you find something odd about the layout of the website, work is in progress.
Going to be Jobless Soon
A few days ago, I had sent my superior an email about not renewing my contract after next month. I would be officially declared jobless after then and soon bankrupt.
There has to be sacrifices between money and interest; and I choose the latter because of long term plan.
Jingkun is confident to help me in reducing my work load when term starts again but there are just too many unexplainable and unsolvable problems. I have to blame myself for being too helpful sometimes, or rather, ignorant.
I could have sent the email to my superior later in case I may change my mind but it would be good for him to make proper arrangement earlier. In our cases, not informing is considered as not going to resume; but however, he is probably expecting us to stay on.
Both Mingli and Weitat are not resuming as well, and it would be quite lonely for Jingkun after June. Nevertheless he has to learn to be by himself because it is part and parcel of working life. Things may not be that bad if the rest of our “gang” are professional in their work. This is one of the reasons why I do not wish to stay on, which I have classified as a sensitive issue which I’m not able to let my superior know.
I merely included reasons like my urge to create my own websites and that I was unable to accomplish tasks up to my own expected standard but I did not mention the causes because I did not want to be seen as complaining.
I’m going to miss many people!
Overnight at Weitat's house
The past few days took me a ride on a “mountain-climbing” challenge. My backache was tearing me apart, together with my workload, my deprivation of sleep sent me nodding at places.
On Thursday evening, Mingfa sent the gang of us to meet up with coach right after our work. The dinner was for Weitat’s belated birthday and I felt awkward to be treated by coach as I had not been talking to him since long time ago. Since I had a very unpleasant afternoon during my earlier lessons, the tiredness from the anger added on to my weariness to keep me quiet.
Mingfa drove me home after Jingkun and Mingli, and waited downstairs together with Weitat while I took my bath and packed up. Then, we proceeded to Weitat’s house. It was a good “customer service” experience. Weitat gave up his bed for me and since he did not switch on the air-conditioner, I was able to doze off at around midnight after nodding in front of his television.
It was one of the peaceful nights I had for years, probably due to my desktop was not there for me to work. I slept right till after daylight.
The Arrow Strikes Me Again
It is funny that whenever people need helps, they always think of me before anyone else.
This entire world consists of nobody who is “free” except me.
When our boat faces storm, I would be sent to deal with the situation; and when other boats face the same problem, everyone deems that I’m the only one in the ocean to do something.
It is alright to do lots of extra things than normal people but it is very irritating in situations whereby my main tasks are affected.
My focus and principle all these while is to accomplish all the tasks assigned by the bosses; in Chinese, “不辱君命”.
The fact that I’m unable to achieve my own standard of work due to additional works that I cannot reject tells me that I should not stay on anymore. I must admit my own incapability even though they may not be obvious to others.
No matter who and how many people are impressed by me, and how many compliments I have received, I should not hesitate anymore.
Shifted Desk
There is nothing that lasts forever. Same things go for a work desk. I have already prepared since so long ago to move and thus I have not brought many things along ever since day one.
The days when the four of us were sitting straight in a row would be so unforgotten. It is one of the best things in anyone’s working life to enjoy such privilege of having three buddies sitting so near that we could easily help or look out for each other within a second. I enjoy sitting near the few new friends who have been entertaining me a lot, especially “everything’s perfect”, because she is kind of my ideal mum.
Some people might think that sitting at the edge where many people would pass by is a problem but I’m pretty off the channel since I think totally differently; I love colleagues pass by everyday often and exchange smiles with me. Smiles lighten up me a lot, especially when I’m stressed.
Of course, there are cons to sit among the group that is near the door when access card is needed. Also, sometimes people might tend to take you for granted as well when you are being exposed to line of sight easily.
I’m not being indecisive when I’m offered to be helped to cling on to the place. So much for expecting the changes, I’m only so curious about who has placed a label on the desk without saying anything, which is very impolite, unfriendly and coward. The problem is when I express my regrets for shifting because of all the nice things, people tend to think I’m trying to hog on to the place.
Back to the same old place, I feel so flattered and pampered somehow by the most welcoming mature soul. The annoyance is having to sit near a couple of people who work totally differently from my style, or perhaps, different from the entire workforce’s. Anyway, I shall focus on all the cute people instead.
Being excess sentimental is showing too much of my weakness.