Dear Dreams

[Wednesday, 20 September, 2006]

Towards the dreadful nightmare, I felt lost out of a sudden. Morning was taking a cab to block five and then proceeding to the admission office. After reporting to my ward, I was left with waiting.

For almost two hours, I lay down on the bed doing nothing. It was an awful feeling. The fear and curiosity were frustrated, as time finally showed an unintended mercy.

The nurse finally came in to give a notice to get changed, which caught me unprepared totally. My plan to go to the toilet seemed too insignificant compared to the operation, but I actually waited more than half an hour before the old lady came to push me over to the second level.

My mum and aunt followed. The feeling of being pushed on a wheeled bed was weird but of a new experience. There were a few repeat confirmation of my identity behind each door until the final waiting area, which was just a door away from the actual operation theatre. The two nurses who pushed me over were friendly and humorous.

The introduced nurse waiting inside accompanied me at first but soon, I was left alone there most of the time. The anaesthetist came and explained that there was another operation going on. After some time, she came over to introduce my greatest friend, the needle. She tried so hard to make my veins more obvious, which was so weird to try on my easily visible veins. Her hands were freezing cold and that actually worried me even though she was a doctor.

After a minute of tapping my wrist, she stopped and went over to the operation theatre. It was after some time later, she came back to repeat the same thing. I did not look at my wrist when she was about to cause my giddiness. The ant bite’s pain was not just an instant but twice and longer lasting than usual needle. Then, I was told that I had to wait for another forty-five minutes more. The nurses got me another blanket to keep me warm.

I lost track of time since I did not have my watch on. It was long before I was finally pushed into the theatre from another door. The doctor asked me for permission to put me to sleep. I was not scared at all since I knew I would not feel the pain at all, and perhaps, my greatest fear, the injection, was over.

The theatre looked kind of like a normal dentist clinic. I was switched to another bed again immediately. Then, one of them gave me a mask I thought he wanted me to take in more pure oxygen first. After some instruction to breathe in harder and more, I felt the numbness in my brain, the scariest experience in my life. I was gasping for breath and in no time, knocked out.

When I woke up, I was already at the recovery room. The male nurse removed my oxygen mask and questioned me. Very soon, I started to feel great pain on my bandaged calf and was fed four tablets of medication; I was not sure if the both types of them were both panadols. He let me rest there longer before I was escorted out of the place.

Soon at the entrance, I saw Mingfa and followed by my mum. It was so great to see familiar faces after rejuvenated from death. My mum told me Vivi had called her earlier on and I quickly called to report my about safety. The arrival of the belle gave greater assurance of peace.

Mingfa left to find his friend later and then Gilbert arrived to entertain me more. Chatting with him was definitely informative and inspiring. My mum and Vivi left at around 1730h and Gilbert continued to stay and later went for a quick dinner before he came back to accompany my lonely soul.

Mingfa messaged me a couple of times saying he was not coming back and then later said Wilson might come but ended up both of them were not coming. It was a very good effort though because Mingfa had already rushed down straight after his coaching, whereas Wilson had to work at night.

Gilbert finally left at around eight o’clock.