Dear Dreams – Page 232

Another Saturday morning burnt

[Saturday, 29 April, 2006]

It was so silly to wake up on a Saturday early morning and had to go back to camp.

I took a lazy stroll from Choa Chu Kang MRT to camp instead of a bus. The distance was actually quite short but ten minutes’ slow walk was rubbing my knee caps.

Rongji was still the guard 2IC when I reached before eight. Duty officer was Melvin again and I woke this poor boy up from his sleep to get the keys to open TRMS office to get AVA office’s keys.

Rongji joined me soon and both of us waited for the contractors. I was surprised to see Warrant Rajoo since I thought only Blackie would join us.

As I was going to the water cooler at the accommodation block to fill my water bottle, he was just downstairs suntanning his car. I did not know if I should leave him at the parade square alone but I chose to stay behind since he told me contractors were coming already. I never expected him to walk away with his car’s doors all opened; it was a Saturday and nobody would touch his car anyway.

The sun, who tried to bake me, soon became stronger. After more than an hour of waiting, I gave up and went back to the office.

A sudden opening of door caused alertness and I thought the contractors had arrived, but it was only Rajoo. Together, we waited on.

1100h, they finally came. I was not sure it was whose fault to make me wait for three hours. Rongji brought one guy to CAI rooms while I went to the store room to take out the chairs for another guy to fix.

I thought it was a full day work, expecting to leave at very late hour but Rajoo announced the day was just for fixing of the spoiled chairs and door ledges. I helped the guy in fixing the chairs to make the progress faster, as well as to learn by hands-on.

Everything was done up fast and I went down to the CAI lab one to join Rongji. After that, I showed the contractors to the spoiled floor inside another room and finally ended the day.

The cheapo furniture had caused all the troubles. If someone had tested the quality of the equipments before purchasing them at a lower price, we would not have to waste so much time getting contractors to fix and change them.

Rajoo drove us over to the SI building where I returned the keys to the new duty officer, Teck Loong, again. Rajoo then drove us out to the MRT station and Rongji introduced me to lunch at the interchange.

Byebye Man Utd

[Saturday, 29 April, 2006]

Manchester United loses their Premiere league title again.

What has happened to the team who has won the Premiere league, FA cup and Champion League cup titles on the same year a few years back? What has become to the coach who had been conferred a “Sir” title that year?

How I miss their old glories with all the superb skills. They used to have such good team coordination and each pass posed so big threat to opponents. They used to have the best defence squad and opponents could hardly score, or was it all Peter Schmeichel’s credits?

Roy Keane was the man one or two seasons before he left the team; Beckham helped so much with all the passing. The team used to be the winner for most of the matches they played but suddenly I lost confident in them totally, but still hoped they could buck up.

They remind me of myself; I can be good in some things at first but terrors just keep caressing me internally. However, I will never show my fear because disguising them can only do me good; just like when I was competing in chess games during primary school.

You cannot play any game with fears. I believe the players of Manchester United are of great potential but never be consistent with phobia.

What a match to end their dream of securing the title from Chelsea just now; three nil down with Wayn Rooney being stretched out of the field.

I am not such a big soccer fan, just watch it randomly when my elder brother switches on the television or friends happen to tell me about the big matches.

This is not my house

Into the next day, you still cannot get to bath because your wardrobe is inside a room where a couple are in; you could have knocked the door to get anything you want. So how do you feel when you are suffering just because you want to play kind?

This is the retribution for being benevolent to move the work station out of the room. Humans always take things for granted. It is not once or twice per week but more than thrice and four times sometimes.

Imagine you need to wake up early the next day and you have to wait until after midnight to bath after you have sweated; how long can you hold the uncomfortable and how many more hours can you sleep?

I do not know why each month’s salary should be spent to the last cent, partly to raise the family of those midnight shift cab drivers; I do not know how to raise electricity bill so high and yet the bill goes somewhere else.

Have you ever thought over it that last time when fans were not even invented, how do humans live on? How about before air-con was invented or even sold at an affordable price, how do you manage to keep yourself alive?

I seriously do not like this place anymore.

One day, I would get my own house so that I can have a decent work place with a reasonably fast desktop and a chair which does not aid in giving more backache. I will not have rubbish being dumped all over, which I do not even know what they are. I will have my bed too and not just a mattress on the floor where others step on daily.

I do not need to live a luxurious life but just a comfortable house will do. I suppose many people surrounding me should start to appreciate their living conditions because I am working towards them and they have already got all the needs.

Report sick

[Friday, 28 April, 2006]

I have this bad habit of not going to see the doctor immediately until when more problems arouse.

This day, I actually went to see doctor for my giddiness, eyes and nose irritation, injured nerve on my right finger and stomach discomfort.

I told her about the giddiness and breathing difficulties caused by the nose block. She did not really seem to care about the nose problem. She told my blood pressure and it was the first time I was told to stand up while taking it. Then, she asked if I was knocked on my head or had other injures recently; I answered no. Before leaving, I asked her to check my throat and after I opened my mouth for her, she said “Oh ya, got some problems there.”

I went to collect my medicine and realised there was only tablets for flu and giddiness.

When I was about to leave the building, I remembered I was knocked onto my head a few weeks back, not sure if it was related but I had giddiness on that day itself; I did not tell her about the pain on my right knuckle as well.

Indeed, it is not good to struggle with illness or injures and not reporting sick immediately, because it is either the doctor would find you irritating or you would most probably forgotten about getting solutions for some problems.

Saturdays are important

I do treasure my weekends more than any other days since they are the days most of my friends are free.

I have totally forgotten who has asked to go out for this Saturday since a week ago and I told him I should be free. So, it is no longer important since that friend probably has forgotten it like me.

However, there is invitation to karaoke with my colleagues and Huiqin wants to go beach as well on this Saturday. Just before I can decide how to handle this problem to make sure I can attend both, a Saturday booking in shit work purges the problem.

Since the last time I went back camp on a Saturday was two months ago, it is kind of my turn this time to go back to entertain workers to fix all the new garbage rooms and furniture.

Low budget certainly means high maintenance rate – this is one of the most important lessons I have ever learnt over the past year because some organisation always loves to get cheapo stuffs so that the staffs can waste their time to fix the faulty stuffs up; it somehow helps economic grow and increases job opportunities.

Though not everything is fair and some people can escape all Saturday duties, I think I should contribute and burn this Saturday for the new start.

Chen De promises me two off-days for this hectic Saturday but I rather not waste this precious day. I have accumulated enough off-days, which I cannot bring all to during clear leave’s period and now I have to try to use some of them.

Addicted to sniffing tinner

[Thursday, 27 April, 2006]

I had sniffed tinned for the whole morning till late afternoon excluding lunch time. This day, both Chen De and Benjamin were on MC and Jonshit was no longer part of AVA.

As our strength gets smaller each day, there lies an unknown fear within me. Though Quek has led us out of fugitive already, the team still requires many people. We may be slacking the whole day sometimes, but there are always times when parade or any other event pops in; things will certainly go haywire without enough manpower.

This day, we were still able to survive somehow in times of needs. Troublesome people came to borrow different types of equipments and the remaining three of us were able meet their requirements. Both of them were of great helps when I was not in my usual working attitude with sickness and frustration.

Jonshit started the watching of the nomination of election in the morning and I was attracted to it. This issue would be so hot for the next few days. I took over Jonshit completely after Mani called him back to E-Plaza, but soon I got sleepy with my little giddiness.

I was having a frustration over this dispute. Mani and Jonshit were trying so hard to push the duty to each other, staying away and playing hide and seek. In the end, Mani always had to call AVA and get our guys down; it had become more of a command than helping hands.

So, I wondered if one day AVA team was involved in parade and other events at the same time, we could call the E-Plaza people up to handle all our usual stuffs, properly. I hated this asset issue that caused the lack of manpower and definitely the crappy admin side which always made things difficult for us.

We had a little feast in the late afternoon in the middle of the cohesive event. Food was brought back to the office for me and some other colleagues since we had our duties at the various offices and classrooms. That was only after a struggle at the office by me alone (excluding construction workers).

I told them to get more food back so that we could share some with the workers. There were various reasons behind it and certainly a good move. Most importantly, I believed I would be very happy if I was treated nicely during my work and so it would always apply to others; it would also motivate them to worker harder; and lastly, to finish the food at the events so that they would not be wasted at the end of the day. Anyway, the food was free of charge and so why not?

Anyway, I was sniffing the tinner for so long that I was almost immune to it. It was until Edgar and I went to the spectrum and Miss Lee put me as a temporary waiter before I could “steal” some packet drinks from the table besides her, we got back and I could not bring myself inside the office due to the smell.

It could be really a very fine day if we did not have so many equipments on hands. I realised I should not be too particular over issues and attitudes of others, learning to relax myself was a better solution to all frustrations.

An evil race to promotion

I hate office politics just as much as I hate smoke and cigarettes.

I never expect it to happen even in the army. It is physical tiring and now it adds on with mental torment.

When a desperate man tries hard to rise to power, he can do anything, regardless how others would feel and how much they would suffer.

He tries to push more platoons into the institute at one go, and even shorten the length of their courses; he tries to make the library open till late night daily for self study when the trainees are already tired enough to doze off.

He never expects for the consequences – the worn out of staffs and trainees, especially the knowledge the trainees would bring out after the course. If the trainees cannot acquire all the knowledge and skill due to time constraint, they might as well not go on course in the first place.

Seriously, who can study from 0800h to 2200h everyday? The platoons need long time to prepare for their next day’s exercises sometimes.

So this guy is desperately pinning his promotion on the sufferings of everyone. Every platoon sergeant would have to spend more time with his platoon each day when learning hours are increased; every instructor would have to conduct more lessons; and all the staffs in charge of the rooms have to stay back until the trainees finish their lessons. The inhuman thing is that no bunk is indented for the staffs who need to stay back till late hours; some even have to travel home from west to east.

He calls for a meeting with all the department heads, but he never includes the commander or deputy commander, such that his rank is the biggest during the meeting and he has the say over everything. How smart he is. He even has a back up as one of the department heads, who is none other than his suck cock buddy, the man I despise and condemn, who has given me enough problems during the last few events I was involved.

If he were to stay behind every night with all the staffs and send them home after work, there will not be as much grudges now. Since this guy is a selfish asshole, we will just continue to hate him more each day.

Hopefully, his plan will be voided by able-minded people.

Mum's birthday present

Recently I am facing a big problem which I cannot solve no matter what.

I have made fruitless efforts to seek help from some of my friends who cannot contribute anything special to me.

I need to get my mum a birthday present.

Two years ago, princess picked a handbag which my mum was very pleased with. Last year, I bought a perfume during an outing with the BMCC people. This year, I am at a lost again.

Jewellery, clothes and shoes – they are really hard to be chosen. She is not lack of anything and this year; I basically know nuts about what she needs other than someone to accompany her.

Perhaps, I can bring a sweet girlfriend home and she will be more than happy. Crap.

It simply worsens my illness whenever I try hard to think of it. Maybe I should learn from her and give her a $20 red packet every year; maybe $20.10 perhaps.

An absurd kiss – I love it

[Wednesday, 26 April, 2006]

I was dining in a big group, chatting loudly and humorously. As we were parting, everyone asked for directions so that there was companion on the way home.

For me, I was involved in a volleyball match with Andy and Anqi in the evening at Clementi, so that I would be on the same way as Huimin. I jokily claimed that I would be travelling with her and she gave me the usual disgusted looks.

It was a good opportunity to get nearer to XYZ actually and she gladly agreed to move off with me. We approached the lift and I was surprised that she was going up to the top of the car park to fetch her car because I did not know she had a driving license already.

After we stepped out of the lift, I realised that I had left my bag inside. I dashed down the stairs from level six to race the lift and luckily it was programmed to stop at level four. After retrieving my bag, I took the stairs instead of lift and started panting in front of XYZ.

Looking sad, she told me she had totally forgotten how her car looked like and even the car plate number could not be visual in her brain. She appeared more depressed as time went by.

I did a few questioning but she could not answer me anything. I tried to lighten and give her some hopes by requesting for a kiss if I was able to solve the problem. Out of nowhere, she rewarded me a peck on my cheek. I helped her to one side to sit down and soon she dozed off, looking so beautifully like an angel. I was feeling lucky.

I started walking around to search for her car and even sought help from a guy who looked like technician. I called Anqi but she could not remember the number as well.

At times, I glanced at XYZ who looked so innocent and charming, and it gave me motivation to continue with the search. I was thinking of trying out each car with her key but it might trigger the alarms and suddenly I realised I could have played with the remote control key to trigger sound from her car.

I woke up.

Too mild to visit a doctor?

[Monday, 26 April, 2006]

It has been days since I am not feeling well. I have stomach discomfort, giddy and headache and sometimes I feel like vomiting. All these are too mild that I do not know if I should visit the doctor; anyway the doctor would most probably give me the same medicine like panadols.

It starts to Sunday and probably due to dehydration after the Saturday’s volleyball game or the construction work inside my office.

I do not know which idiot suggest the idea of building a three by four metres partition inside my office to act as the server room. My superiors obviously are heartless or maybe brainless to neglect everyone inside the office – three CAI and five AVA personnel and nine lab technicians.

The new walls are made of soft boards and the original soft board facing outside is torn down to be replaced with bricks and semen. I find it weird because anyone who wants to break into the server room can just break down any of the soft boards to any part of my office and then break down any of the new soft boards.

Anyway, we are just left behind inside the office sniffing in the dust particles; even the expensive equipments are suffering together with us. The CAI personnel cannot continue with their Lectora software conversion and people with weak health like me tend to fall sick easier.

It certainly helps me to sleep earlier every night.

One weird thing about me is that I wake up feeling very giddy every morning but I do not know if I should visit the doctor since it may be just normal morning symptom. I am wrong for three days already.