Ultimate lover

I used to be a flirt, dating many girls at the same period of time, which people usually describe as timer.

Fiona Xie was one of my earliest girlfriends and I really loved her for her great figure. She had all that a perfect girl should have, and extra meat to train up fingers.

Next was Boa, who amazed me with her charismatic. She was so stylish and charming that I couldn’t take my eyes and hands off her. She was one sweet little spicy babe who I couldn’t stop kissing.

Not to be missed out, I had an enjoyable period of time with Jolin Tsai some years back. She was so hot and huggable that I had to spend some time with her everyday without fail. Due to the fact that she had caused severe lost of blood through my nose so often, I had to dump her.

One of the sweetest affairs I had was when I was with Ann Kok. This sweet creature had a hot body and she could satisfy me with whatever I wanted for her brilliant brain so caring, considerate and creative.

I had once ditched Shuqi for I couldn’t stand her naked pictures being distributed worldwide. Her earliest movies had deep impact on our relationship as well. I must be the most stubborn guy on earth.

After which, I started to dated Zhang Ziyi. Her sexy voice and tremulously good featured face scared me out of my wits when I thought I was in the heaven, meeting a fairy.

The only girl who had dumped me was Yi Nengjing, who discovered my date with Liang Jingru. I hadn’t regretted on the date for it was such a wonderful night. I didn’t like girls who had tattoo on their bodies until I saw Jingru’s, which was right above her butts.

I once almost had a fling with Priscilla Chen, but her acting as a nerd in one of the series shows freaked me. She was so beautiful and often reminded me of Ann Kok, but I couldn’t undo the spoilt impression.

I wanted to try on Japanese girls but time couldn’t permit me. As I went into Hollywood stars, I got so shagged each night that I decided I should pause my love invasion for some time.

I used almost two months to spend each night for the last time with each of my girlfriends before I initiated and hurt their hearts. It soon became a daily routine that I felt nothing about being bastard.

I gathered back my shattered love finally, and thrust them into Jennifer.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

If I have a say

When I was young and deeply fascinated by the Romance of the Three Kingdoms show, I never wanted to be a commander.

I never wanted people to mistake that I was doing things for favouritism. It wasn’t good to order people around; and also, working behind the scene and getting no credit was the best way to prove my sincerity in getting any job done.

I had been going through years of brain-washing, doing my best to satisfy everyone, thus decisions were tough to be made. I cared too much about fairness, that I became so fickle-minded.

Over the years, especially ever since enlisted, I realise listening to instruction is a foolish thing to do. There’re too many practising of unfairness and carelessness and it always reflects upon me that I should do something, which I’m powerless to handle.

From then on I’m trying hard to get stronger each day. There’re too many things which I’ve to do personally. At least now I know I’ve to try to be a leader, then I’ll be able to address to more corruption and unfairness.

It may be soon before my determination wears off, moreover with the disabilities, incapability and surrounding factors, it requires double efforts.

Things that have to be done have to be done.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

Can't stand it

It has been a thousand times I tell myself not to bother with selfish people, but the anger can’t subside.

With a little effort, just by doing his own part, it can bring out so much difference. Why does he instead, want to put others into misery?

Has he attained immortality that he needs not care about what others feel about him? He’s the one who’s going to challenge the phrase “no man is an island”. He gives no damn except to his superiors.

If you were to ask me why am I so moody, I wouldn’t have responded. But once we leave the place I can tell you I’ve failed to put things in correct place, which greatly depresses me. His presence brings me down and forbids me from speaking. It’s not that I hate him, but I can’t stand unfairness, selfishness, theft, bootlicking and hypocrisy.

It was his second time to sign after he received the keys and first time to check the room, in the presence of the new superior, and that he might have other motives.

I really wish it won’t bother me anymore because I’ve my own problems and more important things are there for me to stress about.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

Great weather

It’s so funny when you see the grey sky and call the weather forecast station, which confirms there’ll be rain in the next three hours; two hours later, the sun shines over the land.

So I sat in front of the computer, too sleepy to do anything since I had waked up too early. There was anger in my heart, but I didn’t know who to curse. Feeling lifeless, I started playing the outdated Team Fortress Classic with the bots, too simple to achieve any satisfactory.

There was a frustration in my mind, felt so lost suddenly. Jacky Chan’s old movie kept me accompanied and I had some dips of dreams.

I was too restless to make anything happen, until I started off with reading for photography. The menu of my brother’s Olympus C-750 came handy and finally I realised it had a voice recorder function. Dumb me.

Yuqing and Jianwei had a talk with me. Money and girls were the main issues. Yuqing was getting his driving license soon, whereas I was still far from touching the basic theory paper. Sometimes I did wish that I’ve a rich dad to support my lessons and a car – I didn’t have one.

I hesitated to get a pair of contact lens. It’d add burden to my pocket and time. Sometimes I couldn’t help hating my spectacle, which seemed like an ugly mask on my face. The worst thing was during sport games, it moved up and down to block my vision, and often, kissed the floor. What an afternoon of struggle.

I get so tired of life because decisions are thorns. If only I could get back my confidence that I gained during primary school days, I wouldn’t hesitate.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

Morning news

I wake up feeling assured that I’ve done the right thing by staying home yesterday, but maybe should have gone out to take a walk by myself. After all it sounds more like a hint to me now.

There’re always things that I don’t want to witness, not that I want to avoid, but to leave things as they go by and not feel disturbed at the same time. I don’t wish to be brood over it, though I always feel uneasy and unfair. I shall safeguard the facts and let the story ends only in my heart.

It’s a boring week ahead. At least it’s easier to keep my exploded phone bill at a lower cost. My sweetest Jennifer has left for Hong Kong yesterday, the place where I assume beauties are all over, since I really like the type of Chinese there, the style and looks.

As of now the afternoon’s outing is cancelled due to the weather forecast. I should have organised it for yesterday. I shouldn’t have waked up so early as well. Life is always a regret and fate is always playing a fool.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

High price to pay

There’s always a price to pay for being perseverance. Often, we don’t have a choice.

It isn’t for fun or showing off, something which I must do. It’s always the case that when the thing you do doesn’t benefit others, they wouldn’t hesitate to doubt and badmouth you.

I’ve to maintain my dignity and pride though they’ve already been shaken; some despicable people advise me to take care of myself but they say different things behind my back – I don’t know who.

So I work hard in the day, and get my pain in the end. In this night when nobody cares, aching is the companion.

Resembles of the great old days reappear, just when I’m still fit enough to put in my best – nobody praises but still feel so satisfied of myself.

I can still remember how my injuries worsen – the months when I refuse to believe that I’m being taken for granted, trying to be easy-going and magnanimous.

I can still remember the medical officer warning me not to carry any heavy load and insisting that he would give me my rightful medical status. Soon he leaves the dark force when my problem remains unsolved.

With the naiveness and unable body, the inferior feeling gives a big cut while people add in bruises. None knows how much I wish to get things done; none can understand my fetish to redress injustices.

Often, I’m so afraid to adapt to this dark society, that my philosophies stand no ground anymore. A debate of the angel and devil over my ears decides continuation of suffer or lost of my purest soul.

The same question arises over and over again – will you treat me the same if I were a changed person and not as devoted as before?

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

The legendary "Wayang"

I feel so lost once again, failing to understand human beings.

How can a person be so selfish? Why a person who’s much older and has more experience can’t set good example for the rest?

Lazing around, pushing of responsibility, pretending to work hard, stealing of credits, this combination I can despise more than anything.

To me, happiness is not only about able to relax, but to achieve acknowledgement from people; if you manage to rot your ways through when you’re able to contribute more, the hatreds from people will cause you to suffer greater loss.

How sad I feel for him.

No doubts, I still find him amazing to be able to spread his fame. He would be the only one who can escape duties and yet impress the superiors.

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com

Out of jealousy

It rained for so long again yesterday. I wanted to go straight to the third storey to work out after I got back to Tanjong Pagar so that I needed not go down again. I climbed up the stairs feeling so proud of myself that I was finally so hardworking and answerable to my physiotherapist.

As I reached the fitness corner, a couple were there. The sudden “sianazation” dampened my enthusiasm as I turned back and walked off. It wasn’t nice to interrupt even though it was a public place; I wouldn’t want it to happen if I was any of them. They were so lucky to have companion.

A rainy day, at a nice and quiet place, love was filling the air. But how could they do this to me, showing off their love? That was the first and last chance I gave them.

Please change your hideout next time, scandals!

Skai Chan @ http://sillydumb.com