Dear Dreams – Page 254

Death of his kin

Going out with my colleagues were great, except for the wrong purpose. Yongcai’s father passed away a few days ago and we went to attend the funeral.

At least he has two elder brothers who are already fetching money home, while he’s serving the national with the low allowance each month. I mean he’s better off me, because my father passed away with lung cancer when I was in secondary three. My elder brother was sixteen then and my younger one was only eleven. Since then, I’ve been trying hard not to get upset over anything. Though I’ve failed umpteen times, the experiences have frozen my heart more.

Anyway, after the busy day, I didn’t catch the rest on the shuttle bus. I alighted and thought they had boarded the train, so I rushed up. My phone’s battery was drying off after the long day’s work. I finally switched it on but was too late. I met up with Rueben and took a walk down to find Chua at Jurong East.

Chua was a weird guy, because normally my friends wouldn’t want to trouble others, whereas he insisted Rueben to get him a packet of ice tea after we made a big round of search in vain. This time he pointed to us the direction. Though it was a bit far away, I was in luck upon crossing over the road. However, I was looking around the place and by the time I looked in front, a cute girl passed by, we had walked past each other. I sensed she was looking at us somehow. Anyway the coffee shop was quite far away and I made a wrong choice by purchasing the $1.20 can drink there since I could get it much cheaper at a vending machine.

We went back to sit down. Chua seemed fine to us. We couldn’t expect him to cry anyway, I understood his situation well, that he would most probably weep when nobody was around. Funerals in Singapore weren’t like in the movies where you could hear cries throughout the days.

As the rest arrived by bus, namely Fredrick, Ivan and Tze Siang, we had a great gathering. They were kind, fun and entertaining. We gossiped like aunties in the market and time passed by fast. Suddenly I saw Chua Kao Sai and I realised Yongcai and him were relatives. We had a chat about BMCC and PJC before the sky turned dark, we left for our dinner at IMM. I wasn’t feeling that great in my smelly uniform at crowded places.

I had made a fool out of myself a few times by saying “MMI” (Military Medical Institute) instead of IMM since I was always going to MMI for physiotherapy sessions. Anyway the Long John Silver’s place was almost full and we couldn’t get any seat, thus decided to cross over to JEC (Jurong Entertainment Centre). I wasn’t supportive of the idea since IMM was bigger and definitely had more babes to look at.

The Long John Silver’s at JEC was definitely a low rated place for its poor service. We waited for more than ten minutes for all the food to be served over to our table. I would never classify it as a fast food restaurant.

Set aside the food, our conversations went on again. We talked about the upcoming Jianwei’s chalet and the Red house at Pasir Ris. I could feel the innocence of everyone and too bad I didn’t have my camera with me. I seemed to be the quietest guy there but it was really entertaining to listen to him. We sat there for quite long and finally parted after nine. Everyone went separate ways except for Ivan who stayed close to me and we crapped so much in the train that I couldn’t stop laughing.

Sam Toh

I was surprised to receive Sam’s entry on my guestbook – I had never even expected him to visit my website.

This ass loves to act cool in camp and often tries to spite me to anger. He’s a great liar who claims that he graduates from polytechnic but I heard he was from a college – a brainy in disguise.

He’s not a bad guy after all; alternatively I should use “nice and funny” to describe him. You can always crap with him, and so far, he hasn’t shown any temper in front of me.

He’s a regular customer of my department, that’s how I get to know him. Through the ROC trip during June, we’ve become better friends and I’ve even shown him my cowardice at the tall game machines.

Though we always tease each other, I’ve always regarded him as my very good friend. He’s more than what he always appears to be – a real thinker.

He has personally supported my outing though there wasn’t any girl who attended. He’s someone who I want to befriend of, especially outside camp hours too.

What lies

I hate waiting. It makes me sleepy and tells me how foolish I am.

What are lies? What are promises that aren’t meant to be kept in the first place?

From since sunrise till mid afternoon, it wasn’t fun.

It gave me a good reflection, reminding me again that I was wasting my time. I just couldn’t move on, where my inspiration frozen, I couldn’t put anything in black and white.

I lay down and put myself into deep sleep.

My pretty physiotherapist

On my visit to the hospital again, I went to find my pretty physiotherapist. I was lucky enough to bang into her when she was about to leave. From far, she waved and I was glad she still remembered me.

She was with her colleague and I asked her for her contact number. This was the moment my mood dampened. She refused to give me my confidence. I didn’t expect this at all since we used to be chatting nicely during the medical appointments.

It probed me to analyse more deeply over matters. I started to wonder how much I worth to others.

To me, I might treat someone as a good friend, but does he or she thinks and does likewise? I may not show, I may not sound nice, but I really care.

Refused to fall sick

I was so weak that I was going to drop any moment. It seemed to be a virus had caused this malfunction in my body.

It had been since on the train I couldn’t stand properly. Throughout the short journey, I almost fell more than five times. I couldn’t help dozing off while holding on to the bar. If anyone had noticed, I’d be hell embarrassed.

I didn’t finish typing anything and all my ideas piled up. Sometimes I lost the feeling of the theme I was working on.

So, I lost conscious these nights in exhaust.

All in a mess

The aching wouldn’t stop. I woke up with a bad cough, which finally worsened after so many months. Respiration was problematic.

I was late but I couldn’t do anything more. Someone had tapped with my alarm clock before it could drag my ill up from the recuperation.

It was the start of an unpleasant day, perhaps; once again my mind was playing with myself. This job had trampled my personal life so much that it brought my mood down once again. Army – I really hated it. It wasn’t as if I had a choice.

Well, the theatre was supposed to be opened early in the morning. I had told Chen De about it but he didn’t mention anything about who should be doing it.

I guessed I had to do it myself, but this weariness refused to let me be the hero. I seek help from others. Kwang Han had to sacrifice his morning jog which could let him rest until ten. However, he didn’t make it to the first bus as well.

Jonathan helped us to prepare almost everything. We did the rest as to test the microphones and all that. Suddenly, we were informed of the change of time to the afternoon. They didn’t even console Ivan, the timetable planner, to make the decision.

There was in fact some flame of fiery in my thorough body. And that this thing kept flashing through my mind that I shouldn’t be worried about anything since even the second I/C didn’t care. It had always been this case that my mind really went nuts and I refused to listen to advice from all my true friends.

This tiring morning when busyness caught me, the flu pushed my temperature up. I felt like dropping down any moment with my head landing on the table. Yes I really did.

But when things went out of hands again, I pushed myself and soon forgot about everything. I wet myself with sweat when I tried to find medication for others. Life went on and the dumby lived on.

Gilbert's 21st birthday

Gilbert’s birthday was quite impressive but costly for the thousand bucks spent. It was awkward for me at the beginning since Chua had told me to bring swimming trunk and I dressed up so causally for I thought it was something like a pool side party.

Being at the Toa Payoh SAFRA club for the first time, I still managed to find my way there. I didn’t really explore around but I felt the car park was as big as the buildings.

The party was inside kind of a lounge and the other small rooms on the same level were for karaoke. He had ordered a buffet at the door, which the food was quite pleasing to the tongue. He must have spent lots of time decorating the place with the ribbons hanging all around.

There were quite a number of entertainments inside like the karaoke with projection on a white screen and two television sets, the game machine and a pool table – more than any other party that I had been to, except for the swimming pool.

Nothing helped to relieve my embarrassment except the changing of my short shorts to a three quarter, but I was still the only one in slippers. Sometimes I just felt like hiding my face when they teased me with the only pool downstairs – baby pool.

Gilbert had invited his ex-classmates along and I was surprised to find a few of them quite pretty. Gilbert had all along given me this impression that he was a quiet guy and this time he amazed me once again – the first time was his ultimate different looks without spectacle, which he claimed that he wore spectacle just to hide his real self in camp.

Our other colleagues arrived as the party went on. I was bored as usual during the party since no girl was entertaining me. It was all the laughers and the innocent and caring faces, and also, Jianwei’s singing that kept me occupied.

Jianwei’s singing had impressed everyone that even Gilbert’s female friends had volunteered to sing dual songs with him. He seemed to be the star of the night and I admired him for his bravery and confident.

We had Gilbert surrounded and covered his eyes before we made him open his present. It was after some persuasion before he held the piece of cloth up. He was shocked when he opened his eyes to see the g-string.

I was fortunate to have the camera with me. However, I didn’t walk around to take pictures. It was awkward to be the only one in slippers and I didn’t know Gilbert’s other friends. Furthermore, the lack of knowledge of camera skill had prevented me from adjusting the setting to fit the dim lightings. (But I’m still glad that Jianwei has “employed” me as his cameraman for his birthday’s chalet and my aim is to take very good pictures of him and his girlfriend)

As the cake was brought out, I felt I should have done more things to lighten up the party since Gilbert’s friends seemed to be sporting – if only I had prepared.

Gilbert was so busy for the whole night that I hardly ha a chance to talk to him. It was until at a late hour that I confirmed with him that one of his distinguish gusts might be one of my BMT sergeant – 3SG Albert – one of the kind souls who I used to respect a lot.

As the night quieted down with the departure of some of the guests, the army guys settled down for the number guessing game. We ad some alcohol and the remains were for punishments. It was ridiculous that we had to pay an extra seventy bucks to open the bottle of liquor we brought along.

I wasn’t drunk, just felt heavy on my head. It was okay since little alcohol did make me feel happy but soon I was quite addicted to it.

We were reluctant to leave as Gilbert had booked the place until 2am, however, I didn’t want to waste money on cab fare. Ivan and I left before midnight but still missed the last train. We took bus 105 to Commonwealth where we decided to walk home.

Hate it

I hate squeezing in crowded places especially inside the train. Even though there’s higher chance of seeing more babes, I just hate it.

I hate wasting my time when I’m able to jot some stuffs into my notebook, but I don’t have the space. All the strategic places are occupied. I refuse to hold on to any grab so that others can support themselves.

The worst thing is when someone stands so close me and there isn’t space to step back. The train moves like a child in fear, shivering and shaking.

I’ve to fold my arms in case I can’t keep still and then the auntie in front mistakes and doubts my taste. I’ve to twirl my head sideway so that my breathing won’t hit forward. So pathetic.

This day I missed the first shuttle bus again. I knew Raymond should be around and I went up to his office. This guy was far too overboard for his politeness and kindness. Anyway he waited with me for the second bus and he walked out to take a cab.

This evening was just like any other quiet moment until when I boarded the train, I saw to my disgust. This plump guy who looked like a sex maniacs was sitting near to a sweet looking girl in very short FBT shorts, who looked a bit irritated. It took me quite some time to realise they were couple when I noticed his hand was touching her thighs and she did give a few smiles.

Heaven is always unfair – he’s given so much food that he can store so much fats, then he’s blessed with such a sweet girlfriend, and nice beancurd to eat.

Driving and riding

Shit! I got to drive again! It was bloody cool!

I had a busy morning, carrying stuffs around again. I was testing the fire, the aching on my back that I refused to give up. It wouldn’t start immediately and so I tried to endure that I could feel the strengthless back once again.

Then, we were told to move the old computers including some very heavy servers over from the medical block which was so far away. We were given nothing, except for the five men’s manpower. Having some common sense, I suggested borrowing vehicles from the MT-line. Quek called Shep, who called the MT-line but could only indent for the afternoon.

I wouldn’t do thing which was impossible, refused to give up, I took Yuqing and Kwang Han down for a tour around the parade square. I approached the Terrestrial team but they were busy conducting lessons and they couldn’t lend us a Unimog. A few drivers waved to me and I thought they were greeting other people instead; it was a moment of embarrassed because I thought they couldn’t recognise me already. I approached them but they didn’t have extra vehicle. Sam was there conducting test and I sounded out to him and he gladly lent us one of his four landrovers. Next was the problem with the key because the drivers were already gone. I ran to the other end of the parade square where the Unimogs had blocked to look for the safety rover’s driver but the vehicle was gone. It was just seconds of time when I saw him drive back. Faizal – this great man lent me his key, which was fit for all rovers.

I started the driving. It was the credits of Yuqing and Kwang Han that I didn’t fail to switch on the signals before making any turn. I almost forgot I had to clutch in to change gears. It was a smooth journey. I took quite a long time to park nicely and I knew I could actually do it better without any instruction. We switched drivers, where Yuqing took my place on the journey back and Kwang Han made the next attempt to the medical centre. I took the last ride with everyone loaded up and felt so disappointed after stalling the engine twice.

Anyway, it was all thanks to Sam and Faizal that the work could be finished in less than two hours. I was also very touched when my colleagues repeatedly warned me to be careful of my back and not to over-exert myself.

Just when I was leaving camp, I met Jaiyat Singh who sent me to the MRT station with his bike. It was so cool with the air hitting my body, doubtlessly more fun than driving a car.

I don’t know which driving license I should take up – class 2 or 3. I’ve already had skill to drive a four wheeled vehicle and had a higher chance to pass; however the price would drain off my saving and my family doesn’t even have a car for me. Whereas to ride and support a bike is much more affordable, therefore would more likely be my future mean of transport.

From another point of view, when I’m driving a car, my left hand can be placed on the passenger’s thigh; whereas when I’m riding a bike, the passenger would be hugging me from the back. How interesting.

There're some damages

“There’re some damages,” the specialist claimed. He seemed to bring me back from my sleep.

I waited more than an hour while I slept on the chair upon sitting down. To think that I was actually earlier and I got so frozen up in the end.

That guy’s attitude was quite alright but the crowd outside made me want to leave the room soon so that others could get home earlier. Sometimes I felt silly.

I expected no stomach ulcer but perhaps some minor problems since I had weird pains often and when all prepared, this doctor just sounded my problems to be so serious. He showed me the photos ripped from the product of the video camera that had toured my throat and stomach, which were quite impressive.

There was nothing he could do able it, just merely gave me the same gastric medicine and expected me to go back six weeks later, which I was reluctant to, not when others would assume I was trying to “chao geng”.

One unhelpful’s helpful advice from the specialist was that I shouldn’t be smoking or drinking. Damn the smokers?