Dear Dreams – Page 262

The lost phone

Jonathan has lost his mobile phone the previous day. All fault lies on himself for not taking care of it.

He has been placing his phone all around the office since when I know him. Looking at it, sometimes it just makes me so tired because I can’t just assume it’s not there.

I was down at the tentage at the parade square to take over Reuben voluntarily for the IKC2 week because the weather was hot. Jonathan had replied his friend’s SMS and abandoned his phone on the table and left the office with Yuqing.

I can’t understand for the office is much more secure now with the cupboards acting as walls, separating the door from out “secret” working area and how can the phone go missing?

A few of our guys are also inside the office at that point of time, but most probably half asleep. Any noise would probably alert them due to the fear of Shep coming over, especially with the sound made by our wind vane tied on the back of the door.

Hopefully it’s not internal job and hopefully someone’s just playing punk on him.

The phone may be in a very poor condition, too cheap to sell away, but the contact numbers certainly worth a lot.

This would serve a teaching to everyone, not to dump important stuffs around. I’d be speechless if it’s lost when being kept properly. Though we can’t prevent such mishap, at least we can reduce the risk.

May he get back Xiaoqing’s number.

Actually I’m quite afraid of the condition of my phone as well. The Nokia 3120 doesn’t have infra ray or Bluetooth, and the data transfer cable doesn’t work. I can’t transfer my picture or midi files in, and the worst thing is I can’t backup anything. Since memory of the SIM card is too small, I’d go crazy if the phone ever breaks down or be misplaced.

So selfish

Damn. It’s really flaming me up. I mean him.

There’s no lesson except for a room loaned out for the IKC2 week. He has to stay for the event anyway and he can actually collect the key from them at the end of the day.

Since Jonathan has lesson to attend and why can’t he help? There’s no point in making another guy stay also. He needs not do much. In the end he drags Yuqing down, to stay behind out of sudden.

If I were him I’d have hid under the table and not smile disgustingly everyday. What he really needs is a few punches right into his face. He’d taste his own desert one day. He’d be the one and only one loner on this island, unless money can buy him love.

My MSN

MSN 7.5 is out since don’t-know-when. I didn’t try the actual one since there’s a patch file. The obvious new feature is the voice clip, which I haven’t tried since the back of this CPU is unreachable to insert microphone. It doesn’t sound interesting after all. At least for new, my auto idle away is fixed and nobody would be mistaken when I’m away.

I logged into my old MSN account ( sillydumb[remove-this]@hotmail.com ), amazed to find out not everyone had deleted me yet; even some were already inside my new account ( sillydumb[remove-this]@gmail.com ).

I didn’t add everyone back, but leave them a choice to add me into my new account. I sent emails and posted Friendster bulletin to inform them. I was weird, because most of them didn’t talk to me and I didn’t know if they wanted to, or they had already abandoned their accounts.

There was a sudden feel of innocent and naiveness to see some of the familiar nicknames and email addresses. I wasn’t dwelling into the past, just happened to enjoy the sweet memories.

Life used to be better. That was when everyone was more innocent. With less responsibility, everyone seemed more cheerful. Even though people used to bombard me with questions endlessly, it was much better than now.

Life used to be good.

No escape

The more you do, the higher chance you’ll make mistake. For a place where only faults will be recognised, where masks are everywhere, it’s pointless to give your best or even more. Life is more than disappointment. Each time I close my eyes I can see all the torments.

Each time I do more than what I’m supposed to do, I feel stupid; I feel disgusted with myself. Not any of the initiatives can provide more satisfactory to belittle my silliness.

Not in this place.

I begin to feel the urge to get away more. I can’t keep conning myself somehow all efforts would worth. For more I think I should just help to contribute to the place that lifeless souls struggle, my heart drifts away further.

Why do I bother about others when I can’t even improve on my own condition? No hero lives a good life, unless fairytales tell you.

http://www.bloglines.com

I came across this website, http://www.bloglines.com, which I’d seen before but didn’t bother to go in. I was quite curious and decided to take a break from my work.

It collects XML from blog sites. The good thing is that you can have fewer clicks to see your friends’ blog/journal entries in a good format. It allows you to find out which friend has posted new entry to their blog without going through each of their pages. Another good point is that some people have such fantasy background on their sites that you can’t really read the contents. Bloglines have solved this problem.

Of course, there’re cons for using this service too. Imagine your friend wants to keep track of the number of visitors; the slow increasing counter would definitely keeps his spirit down. And also, it doesn’t support all blog hosts, or rather, not all hosts provide the RSS or ATOM thingy. Diaryland may be one such host since I can’t access Da Zhang and John’s sites through Bloglines. Another problem is that, if an entry itself includes weird colours, fonts or line height, viewing at the actual website itself can offer more readability.

My Thera-Band

I’m trying very hard to follow my pretty physiotherapist’s directions to exercise. Although I still have lots of doubts with my knees injuries. They gave me pains since the field camp days when I was still in so good condition, recovering and since the intensive carrying of things and walking, climbing, knee caps started to loosen; it’s not just a long term wear and tear so simple.

I’ve been using the Thera-Band, which is quite troublesome. Now that I realise it’s simple to tie my leg to the stand of the wheel chair inside my office (no normal ones), where I try to straighten my leg.

Sem asked me to get one for him and it was a difficult task. I’ve gotten it from SGH and even though I’ve the 11B to get it for free, I can’t just name any number of them, not even to lie that my Thera-Band is torn when it’s supposed to be so flexible and enduring.

Besides using the Thera-Band, I’m doing the exercise of lifting my straightened legs up to 45 degree and hang in the air while lying down. I used to be able to do it for more than 3 minutes and managed to maintain the timing after for half years. Now, I’m struggling at 1 minute. Something is seriously wrong.

Stretching is a simple since I can do it at any place, lift up my leg at the back and make sure my thigh can feel the tension. However, stretching is different from straightening the muscle, and I need more muscle to hold my knee caps firm.

My back’s condition has worsened after seeing the MMI physiotherapist. I’ve stopped the gym session for around 3 weeks because of that congressed review session which I circled less problems in the survey form and made her mistake that my condition was improving. She has reduced the number of my gym session from 4 to 3.

I’m very frustrated over the aching. I don’t want to have intensive strengthening of all muscle to keep them away. I’m a man who loves freedom. I want to be carefree and do things at my own pace. I’m packed with work and I don’t have time to exercise daily. At least, don’t expect me to start working out when I get home from camp in sweat and bad mood.

Friends with website/blog/journal

For one of the features I’m going to implement into my website, I need photos from friends whose URLs are linked to mine.

Currently, I’ve a popup with a simple description when the visitor’s mouse goes over the text links. I’m going to add a small picture of the owner’s face of size 65 x 75 (in pixels) to each popup. As to maintain consistency, the picture will be in Grayscale (black and white).

I’ve photos of most of my friends, but as to receive no complaint, it’s better for you to send me the photo of your choice. If you’re fussy enough, scale it down to required size (65px x 75px).

For those who are not linked to me, you can send me your photo and URL too.

sillydumb@[remove-this]gmail.com

Thanks.

If only there’s no bug in scripting

I hate bugs that can’t be fixed. I’ve been spending the past 2 days on my website, trying to amend little details. I make big attempt to include descriptive popup over the links to friends’ and my other websites. Everything’s done when I upload the whole site, to discover problems with the text fields of my search functions over other pages. I update my blog’s host with the skeleton of the revamped design, the popups refuse to appear.

This is normal in the olden days, but not when I still have to book in for the next day. With the IKC2 week rubbish, I’ve to even stay back late like around 9pm for at least 2 days. Good news is that I’ve medical appointments on both Thursday and Friday, and finally could get x-ray for my knees and see the specialist. And also, thanks for TRMS for indirectly/directly injures my knees and worsen my back, I need not attend the Half Army Marathon (AHM) in the morning, thus, able to spend more time on my work. Even though this is deceiving myself, I’d rather think it this way.

Guoxin had asked about going back to BMCC today. I didn’t hesitate to ask him to gather the people himself for I knew I shouldn’t be so selfish towards myself. For the past few months I’ve been standing alone to organise outings. I really need some breaks. No matter how stupid I am that I’ve determination to struggle on anything, limping or whatever, I’m still a human after all and I’ll get tired too. To add on, my injuries have poured in great frustration. I sat in front of the computer whole day for nobody had done anything. Next week perhaps.

Dateless days

I’ve been a good boy for the past 2 nights. Other than sleeping, I’m working in front of the computer, except when Jack starts to bark.
My mum had a chit chat session with my neighbours at the corridor last night. I brought Jack to the visitors so that he would stop his noise. Then I started playing with the kid who was only learning to speak. He soon got attached to me and even walked into my house with Jack following behind. Suddenly, Jack jumped excitedly and hit him, and scaring me out of my life as the kid almost fell.
I’ve caught a few of the television shows, which I’ve lowered down the volume. I’ve even skipped the repeated Romance of the 3 Kingdoms show. The songs inside my computer keep me entertained while I try to improve on my website. My forgetfulness slows down the progress, and since I haven’t touched most of the JavaScript stuffs, I’ve difficulty digging for them.
I’ve visited my other sites while taking a break.
http://fallenforpink.sillydumb.com – The song file from external website is no longer there and I exchange it with a Midi file inside my webhost. The guestbook URL somehow has changed and it works after getting new source code from the service provider’s site. Then, I’ve the logo’s Chinese font changed to a nicer one.
http://smokeforwhat.com/smokeslayer – The account in Sitemeter is gone somehow. I’ve created a new account in Countmypage and hopefully it will stay. The concept is good except for some which I’m very dissatisfied with, due to giving in to my FYP supervisor when we’ve different ideas. The graphics are poor because I’ve started the project very late and have no time to create them out of my scarce talent. The top score board is a big let down due to time constraint too, and also, the website is too plain. I’m thinking of re-doing the site and the game. For graphics, I’ve quite a few friends who do good jobs, but it’s better for me to handle everything myself. It’d definitely add on to my burden when I haven’t even finished my personal website.
I’m fighting against time. There’re too many things I haven’t finished. I’m getting sleepy easily, and doze off often, most probably due to the poor working condition. You’ll be shocked to see me using bed as chair without any back rest. Thanks to my back problem, I’ve to lie down very often, where I’m put to sleep.

Allen Wu @ Fear Factors

I happened to see the show Fear Factors the night before. I wouldn’t have watched it if Allen Wu wasn’t taking part in the competition.

Allen Wu is one of the fittest looking guys in Singapore, an actor in the MediaCorp. His origin is unknown to me, but I’ve heard he’s an ABC (American Born Chinese). I don’t really like him for I’ve seen him in some stupid game shows in Singapore, trying too much to show off himself ungentlemanly; he takes simple games too seriously. I’m not sure about his character, but I just don’t like this point of his. It doesn’t matter as long as he would do Singapore proud, so I still hope he would win the game.

If you’ve given deeper analysis to the Fear Factors show, the games don’t require only courage, but also fitness, calmness and lucks. Take for example, the game that you’ve to be tied on a spinning wheel partially submerged into the cold water; it takes fitness and calmness to take the keys to unlock yourself before you swim to touch the floating ball; what fear would stop you halfway when you can’t do anything about it? Moving on to the shooting game, if you’ve shot down all 57 targets with the 100 bullets with your lucks, you wouldn’t have to taste any of the disgusting mixed insect, worm or beetle juice.

I was disappointed with the last stage, where Allen Wu stood on the surfing board with a rope carried by the helicopter. That required balancing skill more than any other. He looked as usual confident but not when he stood up, where you could see him struggling up there; on the very first second, I knew he wouldn’t survive long. He had strength to hold on to the rope, which had one end tied to the front of the board, but he squatted too high that his centre of gravity was high too, thus more difficult to balance.

He could have won the game. No doubt, his courage was still honourable.