Dear Dreams – Page 222

End of the two COC parades

[Thursday, 22 June, 2006]

The two major parades had finally come to an end. The Monday’s one was quite alright for I needed not stay inside the MPH (Multipurpose hall) for long even though I was the one who set the system up together with a few guys. I still went down to the parade square to help out sometimes. In the end, the MPH was not used since it did not rain, but I had to play a stupid Auld Lang Syne song and witness some guys in army uniform doing cheerleading like monkeys or clowns down the road.

For today’s parade, we switched roles with my sister’s team and were to assist them. I was stationed in MPH again, though quite simple but I rather stayed with my sister to chat and learn some stuffs from her.

Christ was in charge of MPH and I was quite surprised that his unit did not allocate any manpower to him. He was of a certain rank and still had to do everything there if I was not around. Since he was a nice guy but was more blur than me, I did not mind helping him, even out of my boundary of work, which Shep had repeatedly cautioned me not to. I even went to carry the rostrum from the fourth storey of the medical block all the way to MPH in my injuries, which I did not want to mention to him; I would never want to give anyone the impression that I was trying to escape work and I did not want to leave him alone.

Anyway, I was quite touched by Shep’s intention of saving us from workload. She clearly understood how assholes from other departments and units had tried to abuse their rank on us, and she would by all means defend us as her henchmen. However, she did not realise how often we would sacrifice ourselves to prevent conflicts; at least I had been doing it.

Since Yuqing was on MC for two days and Gilbert was busy enough with his lab when nobody else was willing to help him out, I was alone doing all the work with Christ in the MPH for the past two days. Though work was not tough, sometimes it could be troublesome especially when the people kept on tripping the cable which we had taped properly on the floor. Even though the masking tape was most probably cheapskate one and the ground was too dusty, it was all the dragging of the boots that had removed the tapes.

It was not so relax at first when all the big shots did not realise my unit was not in charge of the event. Even ISM was expecting Ben to be there. Then, Christ’s superior must have mistaken that I was from his side from the way he spoke to me.

The most tedious job was to stay there all the while to look after the equipments. Those people involved in marching were also assigned there during breaks and lay down like corpses whenever they were resting. Basically there was nothing to do except to write my diary which was too boring sometimes especially when I was lack of sleep. Although Christ had asked me to go off to take some breaks but I chose to stay there all the time because the crowds could be back anytime for rehearsals and that I felt it was not nice to leave him all alone there because I had already experienced it numerous times. He left the place a few times to settle things.

I made the first cock up yesterday when another CD was given and that I had to play two different tracks for two saluting of the different big shots. Since Christ was not in charge of the PA system in his unit, I took over the sound system totally. They did the first salute and then after that, I played the second track upon hearing another salute command but to realise that they were repeating the first one. Kenny raised his voice at me, telling me that I should have listened properly to the cue and that was hurting from his mouth because we were quite good friends. I really wished I could take a look at the cue papers and that everyone should know that I was not there during the previous rehearsals for the Monday’s parade and that I was totally sucked at memorising the Malay commands.

The second “cock up” was when they were unwrapping the flag before the start of the parade. They did not give us any advance notice and that I was stunned when I heard the salute command. Christ and I stared in blank and we did not know if we were supposed to play the music like. Cold sweat dripped and the worst thing was that they saluted for so long and they could be waiting for our music. In the end, nothing happened and so we assumed we needed not do play the music.

I realised the weather forecast totally sucked. It was giving me the wrong information since noon due late afternoon. They did not use the MPH and my days of efforts were placed in drains again; I was quite happy over it anyway for the responsibility being lifted off. Siu Hang, Yuqing, Kwang Han and Rehan who was just dropping by, helped out with the keeping of equipments. After which, we went back to the parade square to help out on my sister’s side.

I could not understand why just a few persons would cause the suffering of hundreds of people for days. The expense and manpower could be spent on more useful things like charity work.

Of lameness

[Tuesday, 20 June, 2006]

I was not listening properly but they were talking about a farewell party or a cohesive outing for their department CDT (Contents Developing).

Since it had to be something related to their department, there was a limitation. Soon, there were craps like going to IT fair or food fair.

“What has the food fair got to do with CDT?”

“CDT don’t need to eat meh?”

I could not stop laughing over the lame reply.

Weak to nowhere

[Wednesday, 21 June, 2006]

I am too weak to type, too tired to talk and too sleepy to think.

Days of tiring work in camp, the lack of sleep and being caught in the little rain sometimes, together with some uncomfortable feeling just put me to paralyze.

The engagements in the television, the phone and the numerous popping out of chat windows, together with the current work on hands almost muted and put me to the ground. I did not want to displease anyone.

But sometimes, I tried too hard to squeeze out time, to realise that my plan did not work out. The waste of effort and waiting are mocking at me.

I do not know how far I can go on for this path is going to bring me to nowhere soon; and if I just do not buck up and still live my happy-go-luck life, I will be left with nothing in times to come – a few more months only.

I am feeling so weak.

Touch the heart

[Monday, 19 June, 2006]

I used to be stronger for I did not know my limit and thus always excelled. But it finally brought me misery at the age of twenty-one when legs injuries caught me when I pushed myself too far in the army.

I started having phobia and often paused to reconsider things before acting, and eventually lost many chances.

But there was this stubborn spirit in my body that always numbed my brain in times of when my beloved ones were in need.

So, this night, I lost my mind again and wanted to try for the impossibility when I was even having difficulties in moving myself; I knew myself well that it was out of my capability. I was not even given a chance though.

How romantic it was for a guy to piggyback his girl when she was feeling sick?

You can always do your best to please someone often but the impact is never more than another person who has the one chance to do something great.

Back at BMCC

[Sunday, 18 June, 2006]

I finally stepped into BMCC (Bukit Merah Community Centre) once again. The usual mosquito bites, the lousy toilets, the dirty store room and things were the same except that my team-mates were not around.

It was Mingfa’s training for his teams inclusive of Clementi Town Secondary and Clementi ITE. The net was set to ‘C’ boys’ height and thus was so low that I felt uncomfortable at first. Since I had not touch volleyball for so long, I displayed a number of disgusting spikes in front of all the trainees.

It was a relax afternoon for me. There was little jumping and running about for me such that it did not pose any problem to my injuries. The weather was fine as well, like the previous day, I thought it would rain actually.

Towards the evening, we left for Redhill hawker centre for dinner. It was a terrible sign that two drinks stalls were just facing each other and that they had to fight over for business so tightly; I felt the pressure and would never want to get any canned drinks. The only western food stall in the hawker had failed me with the taste of their half spring chicken rice.

We waited for Meijun’s family to reach the place before we left for homes.

On the journey home, I was wondering about the future and whether I should be spending my Sundays like that when I had dreams yet to fulfil. I was lost, stuck in between enjoyment, friendship and my future career. After all, Mingfa was there to coach his teams as his career and I had nothing to do there to help me to progress.

Worn off again

[Tuesday, 20 June, 2006]

Fatigue finally catches up with me again.

The previous weekends were spent quite well with friends, doing sports. I did try hard to consolidate the pieces of memories in my head for the previous days but time was the biggest restriction.

I am exhausted and my eyes can barely open now. I am not sure the jotting down of events and thoughts of my life is of any use. I might be just wasting my time after all.

My whole body is aching badly now, especially the lower part of thighs. I feel so weak.

Tuesday, 20 June, 2006

Swim with Gilbert and Peh

[Saturday, 17 June, 2006]

I always thought the weather forecast was very accurate but I was wrong.

Saturday supposed to be the day for the cycling outing at Pulau Ubin and I cancelled it since the weather forecast said it would rain before and after noon. Gilbert and I decided to go for a swim in the later part of the afternoon and Peh decided to join us.

We arranged to meet at three at Ang Mo Kio MRT but the sky from the view of my windows was greyish. I messaged Gilbert who replied me after some time to confirm the plan was still on. I could reach there on time but I was too distracted when Vivi was away and that I tried to finish my diary fast. Laugh for all you want but it was the first time I forgot to transit to another train at Raffles’ Place. I was late for around twenty minutes after I took the opposite train back from Kallang.

Just as we were walking out from the MRT station, a familiar face was staring at me as we passed by each other. Soon after, Ren Yao called me and asked if I was at Ang Mo Kio. I realised I had just seen her sister at the entrance a moment ago. It was cool that she still remembered me.

It was quite a long walk to the swimming pool and we passed by some flats where dead pigeons were found on the ground. Peh called the police to inform them of this suspicious founding since the cause could be some diseases; however, they gave him another number to report about it instead. He dialled the new number and finally that person called another organisation to clear the dead pigeons away. We were quite amazed of the trouble we had to take in order to do good deeds by informing about it.

We got down the Olympics pool and it was freezing. I was jumping insides the water and a little boy near me asked, “Are you very cold?” I acknowledged it and he started splashing water onto me. Then, he started to do it to Peh and Gilbert too. We started swimming to the other end but he climbed up to the ground and ran over instead. We swam around twenty laps, resting a while after each lap, and were disturbed by the little boy once again.

I realised my condition was bad enough that during the second lap, the lowest part of my thighs, joining the knee caps were very fragile. My thighs were going to get cramps anytime even though I did not have any exercise the day before. I knew it was due to the same problem of my loose knee caps, which no useless doctor could diagnose and cure it. I actually finished the rest of the laps with breast stroke, using very little kicking force. I was having this feeling that I might be lame anytime.

Though the sky was a bit greyish, it did not rain at all. We went to Gilbert’s house for a while and then took MRT to Bishan Junction 8. Anyway, I was surprised to see Gilbert’s monitor being so big and placed vertically instead. His keyboard and mouse were cool and that I loved his floor tiles a lot.

It was the first time I took Combo 2 set meal at Long John Silver’s. Comparing the size of the two chickens and one fish, I was amazed. Despite the fact that the fish was much bigger in size, I still preferred chicken.

After exerting myself, I was so hungry that I had to find more food to fill my stomach. I had a meat stick at the basement and finally a chocolate waffle ice-cream at the MacDonald’s to satisfy the thirst for food.

We moved on to Gilbert’s favourite hobby – shopping. However, the shopping king did not manage to get any stuff by the end of the day and was quite disappointed.

Culprit for my future mishap and worsening of injuries

[Friday, 16 June, 2006]

The visit to the medical centre was nothing but a waste of time as well as a seek-scolding session.

I showed him the specialist’s letter and he started screwing me off, saying the content was similar as the previous one. He did not bother about the specialist’s instruction to give me excuse status and threw me out immediately.

I can only pray hard that he would suffer the same injuries as me in future to experience the same difficulties and pains I am enduring; if not, let his future children have the taste. I am not evil but benevolent to do it for the sake of the future patients so that their hamster-look-alike doctor can treat them with more efforts and care.

Seriously, if you are blessed with the rank and pay to sit inside the air-conditioned place everyday, what would you know about people who are suffering outside running errands or under the hot sun?

He is the main reason why I lose trust in western doctors and he is the reason for any mishap I might experience in the rest of my army life.

If anything happens to me in future and if I have lost my ability to testify, I hope someone would point out that the medical officer in my camp has refused to excuse me from activities despite being instructed by the specialists. He, who does not fit to be a doctor, should be held responsible for any unforeseen worsening of my injuries.

Finally her voice again

[Sunday, 18 June, 2006]

I just received a phone call from Malaysia. She called me!

It was a weird feeling last two nights that I did not hear her voice. She felt the same. Luckily it was only for three days and two nights.

How I wished she would be with me whenever I am out with my friends so that my friends can understand my decision. The same goes for her to understand the cute and decent friends I am mixing with, who always treat me with respect.

I am pinning my hopes high again.

IKC2 Re-profiling at theatrette

[Friday, 16 June, 2006]

This new event is going to be hosted up to thrice each month, disregarding the fact that it is straining on our limited manpower. Nobody has spent a thought for us; experienced and rich players would only care for their promotions.

I was only told right in the morning that I had to go back to the theatrette again. So, even though I had told myself I would never get involved in events there, I did not have a choice. So, the responsibility was pushed to me again. I was not sure why people were there so early but I supposed I had to get the place set up earlier, but luckily I was not blamed.

Just as I was almost done with all the setups, I was asked to help out in distributing their stuffs, placing the papers and notebooks on each of the 214 seats. It was certainly not my responsibility but the rank was pressing on me and that I hated to lie to say that I was really busy. Since some of the audiences were already there, it made the distribution work tougher. It was hard to move to the centre of the seats and that some of them were so cheapskate that they took the quite well designed notebook on the unoccupied seats.

I faced another tight situation that they did not have a script for me so that I could roughly know what would be happening and all the sequences. All I knew was that there were speakers and videos to be screened, which involved the change of lightings. The camera man even requested for a brighter lighting, which was reasonable, however the screening of the projector onto the screen would be affected and which I could not fully comply to.

I had set the volume of the rostrum mike to a level a bit lower than normal but the organiser went to test it and wanted me to lower down the volume when he was so near to the mike. Just as the commander was giving his speech, I had to change the lighting with the retarded buttons and did not notice about the volume, which was far too soft. My reaction was fast then when I noticed something was wrong and quickly adjusted it to a volume which was almost perfect for the commander was really a good, confident and experienced speaker who kept a distance from the gooseneck mike. I realised one person alone was difficult to concentrate on both the lighting and sound at the same time, plus the fact that I had to react immediately without any probing of the next item.

The audiences left empty seats in between and then some of them required portable chairs instead. I was told to do the job even though obviously they were fit enough to carry the chairs by themselves. This rank-playing place just seemed too disgusting to me.

I was cool with everything and I used the same light setting for all the previous major events. Suddenly, the officers came into the control room to claim that it was too bright out there such that the PowerPoint slides could not be viewed. To people of certain intelligence, it was obvious that the slides were too poorly designed with black font and dark background, which I told them but they refused to believe until I dimmed the light at the rostrum where the speaker could not read his script anymore. They finally realised I was right.

As other presenters started to read directly from the papers to give very uninteresting talks with eyes looking downwards most of the time, they also tried to kiss the mike at the rostrum. The gooseneck mike was ultra sensitive and without the sponge which was lost quite long ago, they needed to control their breathing in order not to produce irritating “pert” noise whenever before pausing. Then, I was told to lower down the volume instead of them not staying too near the mike. Most of them probably did not realise it was mainly the speakers’ faults though the commander could do his talk well using the same mike. After that, I was told to switch the mike to a wired one. Then, the other presenters wanted to use the rostrum one instead and that was extra work for me.

In the end, Captain Justine proved me right by giving his speech impressively by keeping a distance away from the mike. He knew his work well that he needed not prepare any script or take down any note and was able to elaborate on stuffs from the PowerPoint slides well.

Then, I was also asked to increase the temperature when the organisers who came so many times apparently knew the old air-con could only be switched to either on or off. I also wished I could adjust the temperate for I was freezing as well and had to stay inside the place all the time and certainly longer than anyone else. If your dear company did not want to spend the money, why did you want to complain to the poor innocent and low status me instead?

There was another surprise before the event ended when the deputy commander suddenly used the other rostrum. Luckily enough, I was on alert and managed to switch the lighting and adjust the sound in time.

It was nice to know Captain Justine who was friendly and knowledgeable. However, I was quite disappointed somehow when Ben did not realise the need of me to stay in the control room. I wished I could go down to the office to enjoy the Counter strike game with the rest and avoid unforeseen shit work as well.