Skai Chan
“What is internal beauty?” one of the greatest men I have ever met laughed. The question sank into my brain instantly and stunned me as though I had discovered that I was living in a wrong body all these years. All of a sudden sincerity and self-sacrificing rebutted. I have never cared to impress with my appearance, and nobody has cared.
.
[Thursday, 29 July, 2010]
I was not in a good mood and blogging took me quite long. Crapping with Vanessa and knowing about her boyfriend’s funny opinions on Tze Khit and me kept me entertained to release the tension. I went to bed right after 4am.
My mum woke me up at around 7.30am. I was quite stunned when she asked me if I wanted to follow her to the hospital together with my elder brother when we had already finalised it days ago. She made half boiled eggs for me before the three of us set off, walking towards the hospital. We waited for the shuttle bus at the bus interchange and changed our mind.
The Singapore General Hospital was heavily guarded with nurses near the lifts under each block. We had to register, and obtain a sticker and a stamping on the back of the palm. I was quite taken back by one of the nurses at the Enscopy Centre because of her sincere and sweet smiles.
After my mum went in for her check-up, I went to the toilet for the third time of the day. It was freezing but I was well-prepared in my jeans and shoes, unlike my brother in his shorts and slippers, shivering away. His cup of hot drink turned cold soon. I spent most of the time usefully by typing an article regarding smoking in corridor.
My mum came out before 11am and she looked very pale. The nurse explained her condition to us and even showed us the photos taken inside her big intestine. There was nothing much serious after removing some acne inside but she had to report to the specialist again next month when the lab report was out.
We went to the Kopitiam food court for our brunch. The roosted chicken rice from the Muslim stall was very disappointing. My mum had soup mee hoon while my brother impressed me with his decision to take po pian. After that, we cabbed home.
Once I logged into MSN, Jade messaged me and finally started her webcam for she was supposed to do it with me the previous night. However, my network was having problems and it took me some time to get reconnected. She was in her class and thus, we could not really chat much even with the webcams on. I started nodding and went to bed after her class dismissal.
I got up a couple of hours later. Irwin finally got back to me via MSN to tell me that his already changed plan from viewing of camera at Funnan to movie at Vivocity was once again shifted to drinking at Clarke Quay together with his girlfriend and Eugene. I did not want to get into the hobby of drinking and thus I did not join in.
I was not in a very good mood still. Too much thought circulated in my mind that I started playing a few games of Condition Zero to distracted myself and to burn off the irritants. It was yet another inefficient night being stuck in front of the television.
.
[Wednesday, 28 July, 2010]
I had supper and cleared up the leftover food from dinner. Eventually I went to bed at around 4am.
I woke up at around 1pm, feeling puzzled why my mum did not wake me up for half boiled eggs. It was a slacking afternoon until I started clearing my desktop and updating older photos to Facebook.
It was a terrible night. Jieying messaged me in Facebook to offer me a job but she refused to even give a short brief about it, and she insisted me to meet her up next Monday to tell me the details. I tried hard to tease her, in order to force her to reveal it to me, but it did not work. Out of a sudden, her boyfriend used her phone to call me and scolded me.
She was my ex student, and definitely one of the best and closest to me. It had been more than two years that we had been exchanging craps with each other and I usually greeted her loudly by “food poisoning” in front of our friends and even strangers. We joked with each other just like most other friends, calling names and doing all the insults jokingly.
I did not know why her boyfriend would read her Facebook messages in the first place and what had gone wrong in the conversation. I did not know why she did not explain to her boyfriend about it. But it was obviously not me who initiated the talk and it was more obvious that my dear friend was being over-secretive.
I was more than disappointed in her. It was more than an insult and betrayal of trust.
It proved me the fact that I should never stick too closely to some groups of friends due to communication issues that would arouse in the long run. There were too few people in this world who could understand even my humour.
.
[Tuesday, 27 July, 2010]
I started the day editing the photos taken at Gold’s Gym a month ago to resize and add watermark to them. I made several mistakes when using the automation function of PhotoShop and thus, lots of time was wasted with the hundreds megabyte size of photos. Meanwhile, I also chatted with Vanessa and went to bed before 5am, after sorting out the photos.
My mum woke me up to ask me if I wanted to have half boiled eggs again but I dozed off soon after that and she left the house without checking if I was alive. I woke up at 2pm and quickly filled the two eggs into my stomach.
My mum returned not long later and saw the cold milo on the table. I had problem chewing the fried rice she cooked for lunch for my stomach was not empty.
I went to the gym in the evening and Bobby had brought his cute daughter down because she had injured her eye and he wanted to take care of her. He showed me how pampered the little princess of his was. Andrew went down too and we had some chats over my non-profit websites. After the end of the day one training session, I climbed onto the chin-up bar and was surprised that I could still do twenty times.
After working out, I stayed behind to play with Bobby’s princess as Bobby guided Le Tian on his training. Bobby shared his views on money-making before the four of us left together.
I reached home at around 10pm and quickly took my dinner. Meanwhile, I uploaded the photos for Gold’s Gym’s Facebook fan page. While waiting for Jade’s usual ultra slow replies in MSN, I gave up and went to bathe after 11pm.
.
[Monday, 26 July, 2010]
I went to bed at 3am, but despite staying up the previous night dancing and followed by walking around with Huiting and her friends in the afternoon, I could not doze off. I tossed around for hours and even thought of giving up. It was ridiculous that I was exhausted and lack of sleep, and yet my mindful of stuffs kept me awake still.
My mum woke me up for half boiled eggs in the morning and I continued my sleep until around 2pm. After waking up, my calves were weak and there was minor muscle aching.
The afternoon was mostly about enquiring ACRA and also applying for my new passport since it expired in May. The ICA form was quite irritating for it required an installation of JAVA platform, which I thought I already had in my laptop. At the payment page, I had to download the JAVA file and had to restart the browser, and thus I had to fill up the form again. I also spent some time to browse the net for ideas how to make a shaved head look cooler.
At night, the television programmes distracted me from blogging.
.
[Sunday, 25 July, 2010]
I reached my peak of drinking at times but the sweating reduced the impact that I was able to consume more than usual. Hirman tried to push me to hook up with girls but it was never in my mind to get to know girls in club, moreover, I had never approached girls face to face before.
As everyone started to weaken down, we left for supper at a coffee shop near Bugis Junction. I had only a cup of milo. Hirman’s friend, Jeremy, brought him home. Amy hitched a cab first and travelled towards East. Joei and I shared a cab and she dropped me at Tanjong Pagar.
It was 4+am and I started to feel the effects of bottoming up. My mum was asleep, while my brother and his girlfriend were fishing outside. I started chatting with Vanessa in MSN. Meanwhile, in my drowsy head, I uploaded the photos taken at Shenton Way earlier. I went to sleep at 6am in case my mum would get to see my reddish face and body. As hard as I tried to keep my eyes shut in the drowsiness, I failed badly.
I got up for breakfast when my mum returned with my aunt. I finally got to eat half boiled eggs but it was not as tasty as I expected. The wantan noodle was spicy and I gave up since the alcohol seemed to have affected my throat. Huiting replied my SMS at 11am, telling me she was already at Vivocity, and I started preparing myself.
I met a very weird old guy at the bus-stop who changed seats twice, and he was besides me eventually, whistling shit. Luckily, the bus arrived not long later before I could roar at him. He even got to rush to become the first to board the bus and whistling his way throughout the journey like a moron. In Singapore, there were so many cases of mild mentally disordered people travelling around that I was quite irritated at times.
I met up with Huiting and took a picture with her finally after knowing her for more than two years. It was always a delight for me to take picture with babes, especially those with really beautiful hearts. As she went to register for the Hair for Hope 2010 event, I went to the basement with her three little classmates. They chose to dine at Super Dog and I gave it a miss since I had my breakfast not long ago.
After that, we went up to catch Huiting and started queuing up together. More of her friends arrived and she was a star. She even received a board of photo and messages from her class to show their supports for her. Somehow, I was quite nervous since the place was quite crowded to get a good photography spot and that I had not tried the lighting inside the shopping centre. I could not get a good position as she was sent to another side of the stage for her haircut where it was partially blocked to get a good angle.
Her classmates left after the “after” photography session. I had no plan and thus I followed her and her cousin to find her friends – YongJun and Yongbin. We ended up walking to Breeks at HarbourFront Centre for tea. I was hungry but since none of them was eating, I skipped my food. After that, we walked around as I wanted to get her a cap to show my support but we could not find a suitable one after roaming around the two shopping centres. Her friends left after we visited the pet shop and both of us went down to meet up with her other friends before we went in search of a place for dinner.
We settled down at Fig & Olive. After taking our orders, I went to the toilet and also to withdraw money from the ATM machine at Harbourfront Centre. I crashed into Tingfeng on the way back. I was not as noisy as before for my brain was numbed and that I did not know her friends well. I had fish and chips as usual and it was not really good. One of her friends was very interesting and his appetite was excellent. After dinner, we did a little shopping before closing the day.
I accompanied Huiting to the bus-stop to wait for her bus and in order not to cause any misunderstanding, I did not offer to send her home. I had failed badly to act accordingly to my will for the past few outings, as I really saw the need to see female friends home to make sure they were safe.
After reaching home, I dozed off for some minutes while waiting for my mum to clear the bathroom. While MSN seemed to be more efficient, I managed to send Huiting the photos taken by me.
.
[Saturday, 24 July, 2010]
I was not in really good mood and started playing game until late hour, sleeping at 6am finally.
I woke up at around 2pm. after dilly-dally for some time, I left my house after 4pm for photoshooting alone. I began with Shenton Way towards Lao Pa Sat, One Fullerton and ended before Esplanade after I caught up with Sharon and her family. We had a little chat before I paced home. She tempted me with a job offer to teach a new web module.
My dinner was delivery – hor fun. It took quite long for the food to arrive, and while waiting, Hirman called me to join him at Double O. I took my dinner too quick that my stomach was bloated soon. I rushed to Bugis and met up Joei at the Iluma bridge. Hirman joined us soon. On the way, I was quite disappointed when Hirman misjudged my passion for teaching.
The three of us went in first. Hirman’s friend, Amy, joined us later. The noise was too loud for my ears. There was a weird guy dancing non-stop, drawing all the attention. I was told that he had been doing it at the old Double O. We had different types and drinks and I did not even know their names, except that I knew it was going to cost a bomb. As the crowd started to swing their bodies and legs, my gang got me involved as well.
.
[Friday, 23 July, 2010]
I went to bed after 5am. Zaki woke me up at around 11am to ask me for my email because he was going to organise a trip during the National Day long weekend. Tze Khit dropped me an SMS that he had changes for his website again and I promised him to go down to the gym. My brunch was cereal.
I reached the gym after 1pm and he had some changes with his web form. It was hell to me and it took me some time to figure out roughly what the original script was doing but I was not able to customize it to what he wanted. After having diarrhoea, I continued with the work and provided another better solution for him. He could not believe it would take such long time to simply add another feature and I did not show the stress on my face.
Tze Khit went out for errands while I sat on the sofa and dozed off for a while. Weisheng’s phone prevented me from going into deeper sleep. The unwell stomach had caused weakness all over me, together with the lack of sleep, I waited for Weisheng to start off training at 4.30pm.
Since I was weak, I took longer breaks. I did not dare to overestimate my energy this time and I had lighter weights. The four sets of chin-ups went in the sequence of 18, 12, 10, 8. Eventually Tze Khit complained about my long rest time.
After the workout, I stayed there to chat with them since my mum had changed her mind and decided to cook just for dinner instead of late lunch. Bobby talked about me not having enough protein to replenish my wear-off muscle since I had been refusing to take protein powder.
My mum changed her mind again and she called for delivery instead. After that, I called Ouxiang to ask her about Kaelyn’s wedding and she checked it out for me, and I was stunned for I had typed too much craps in my Facebook replies that she thought I was not going to attend. I was lazy to attend wedding dinners but for great friends, I would spend the time sitting down there just to get a few exchanges of words and taking a group photo.
When I messaged Huiting, she told me there was a major change in her project and thus the website I had been helping her with the design was no longer needed.
.
[Thursday, 22 July, 2010]
Going to bed after 3am, the last time I checked the clock was at 5am. I had weird dream again and this time, my university was attacked by creatures. I went to the washroom, leaving my camera on a wheeled chair outside and it went missing. I went after a big batch of secondary school students who were nearby but could not find it.
After waking up, I continued with the Photoshop to help Huiting with her website and that was the main thing I did for the day. I was too engrossed that I gave up going to the gym.
It was a slow night.
.
[Wednesday, 21 July, 2010]
I spent the morning continuing to edit Jack’s photo. I went to bed before 3am but was woke up by my mum to burn incest sticks for my late grandma. I went back to sleep and woke up after 2pm.
I spent my afternoon working on SmokeForWhat. I went to the gym in the late afternoon and had some chats with Junze.
I rushed home to catch the Ninja Warriors together with my brother and mum while I took my dinner.
.