The sight of her

[Wednesday 28 June, 2006]

No exhaustion could battle the liveliness in her presence. It was the fruit from my previous life maybe; or probably the recuperation of heaven who was always unfair to me.

Though we may be far apart in certain aspects, it does not stop the urge to love each other. After all, isn’t the feeling the most critical part?

Seriously no one has appreciated me as much as she does. She is the first one girl who I believe is capable of having a serious relationship and is full of commitments.

I hate to part.

Friday’s karaoke

[Friday, 23 June, 2006]

Siu Hang’s invitation to the karaoke occupied my Friday night.

First was the meet up with Gilbert at Somerset MRT. I took bus 124 from Bukit Purmei which he boarded the train from Ang Mo Kio. So coincidentally, I arrived just a minute before him.

We took dinner at Cineleisure’s Long John Silver’s as I denied the options of MosBurger and Yoshinoya which he loved a lot. I ordered Cajun chicken rice for the first time. The meat was soft and appetizing but the reason for dining there should be for the cheap food, whereas that meal was in fact quite expensive.

We went to the Party World to join them, having given the false information of the level and room number. The five of us had a crappy night but however my throat was giving me problems again and that I could not really hear my voice at times and often being distracted by second voice that did not rhythm.

We did not make full use of the four hours there so as to catch the train. We left at around 2330h and dashed towards Somerset MRT. Tze Siang and Siu Hang crossed the wrong road (further away), while Yongfu, Gilbert and I smartly not wait for the traffic light at that direction.

However, Yongfu took the same train as Gilbert which was in the wrong direction. He managed to catch the last train still. Tze Siang was not so lucky that he transited at Cityhall and ended up at Kallang. Then he had to take cab home towards the west, costing him more than twenty bucks.

This night, I wasted a chance to get to see Vivi and send her home after her rehearsal at Chinatown again. Disappointment and guilt battled over the relief of accompanying my friends. Love and friendship were difficult to be balanced.

Anyway, that was quite enough for the money spent and I should be saving up more for my ORD fund.

The future permanent physiotherapist of MMI

[Friday, 23 June, 2006]

It was a different experience at the MMI Physiotherapy centre. As Miss Archana had resigned, I was seeing different physiotherapists and I got to see this one who was going to take over fully officially but currently still running two clinics at the same time.

I was informed of how military regimental she was. It was weird of her since she was not army personnel but a medical staff. I preferred medical staffs to be friendly and warm-hearted.

Then, I received a second call to push the appointment time forward from 1410h to 1330h. I managed to get there ten minutes earlier despites all the delays during the journey, but ended up having to wait for more than an hour.

Dom reminded me to greet her just before I went in for my consultation and that was quite redundant since it was my usual behaviour to be polite and respectful being mannered since young.

She asked me to remove my shirt and probed for the exact spot that was having the pain. It was not one but a few parts and I was quite stunned since the pains were living in me for as long as I was too used to them to take enough notice on how and where they were agitated.

She got me to lie down facing downwards to check my spine and commented that my towel was too small. It was the first time I had to use towel during review (not gym) and that she obviously did not know how heavy and bulky the *** towel and my bag were which would further worsen my injuries.

In the end, she expected my condition to improve after the next four gym sessions, which the condition had lasted over so many years and I had been there for nearly a year already without improvement.

Before she sent me off, I questioned her about my knees. She did not know that I had put my injuries together as a case so that I needed not go for more medical appointments, despites that each of my gym sessions was dragged so long. I was quite regretful for there was an essential to pay attention to my knees problems as well.

My website is running on a super duper server

[Monday, 26 June, 2006]

I was waiting for my sister to return to camp to collect some PA stuffs from her. Meanwhile, I went to collect keys from Jianhao and saw Mike who brought me to his office. He was working on his sites and he began to advise me for the at least fourth time.

He also helped me to set up an account to store files into his personal dedicated server, which cost around three hundreds plus per month. However, before I had uploaded my files into the new server, he configured my domain name “sillydumb.com” to point into that URL and it took effect instantly. My domain was thus down again for that afternoon before I reached home to upload my files.

Mike is a great friend who is so unselfish.

So, my website is now hosted on a very expensive and high efficient server, which is shared only between his and my websites. This is so cool compared to others who are paying little but sharing their servers with so many other webmasters. It is also masked properly that it will point directly to the server’s URL instead of just opening the URL inside a frame.

Anyway, there was a bad news that Mike was not going to disrupt soon, but to wait for another year such that he would not have to lose more than thirty thousands dollars; therefore, he would not be renting his office space soon like planned earlier. My plan to learn things from him had to be postponed as well.

Without any doubt, I love my website more than ever now. Next is the plan to revamp it to make it neater.

Sleeping beauty

[Tuesday, 27 June, 2006]

On my way home in a big group from Choa Chu Kang MRT towards Jurong East, my friends alerted me on an amazing sight.

There was one girl who was wearing a uniform like the AJC one, sleeping inside the same cabin as ours. There was nothing wrong to sleep of course but she was sitting on the seat, arching forward, having her body flat on her thighs.

None of us could have done that. Firstly, the back would be terribly tired and most probably would ache after some time. Secondly, the thighs area would be numbed. Lastly, we could not have stretched so much.

We were joking about her throughout the three stations. We thought she could be practising gymnastic or Yoga and that was why she could do that. I guessed it was the World Cup fever that she was so tired. We also guessed she could have missed her station already.

She slept so soundly that she did not wake up even when we reached Jurong East. Then, being kind-hearted, we got Louis to wake her up. He gave her a poke or tap on her shoulder as we were going to alight and she finally woke up in a shock but not knowing who had waken her up. She seemed to be searching for something at first and then stood up. She did not alight.

Then, we continued to joke that she could be furious that Louis had disturbed her sleep.

My lateness and the hypocritical world

[Tuesday, 20 June, 2006]

Things would always go head wire somehow and I was only informed of the duty the day before. The worst thing was that the officer in charge was a paranoid. I was expecting it to be early but never as early as 0645h in the morning.

I was worried at first but the first train got me there in time. Since I had asked Pang to give me a lift from the MRT the night before, I decided to just wait for a while as it would be stupid to walk instead.

Anyway, I realized I had a different approach to ask for a free ride. I made sure it would be convenient for the driver first by asking if he would take the same route and be early as the required time; I would never insist or even ask at all if it was troublesome for him. However, to some people, I just seemed wishy-washy. They never would understand my intention.

I waited there fore more than fifteen minutes and he even asked me to get a large packet of Lays potato chips. As the time tickled off, I started to feel pressurized and truly regretted to ask for the ride. We were later than the first shuttle bus and that I could even reach earlier if I were to stroll from the MRT.

I was so embarrassed when facing the coordinator; although his timing was unreasonable, I was late after all. It strongly reflected to others that I was not responsible enough. The grief hurt me so much. It was not that I had overslept or moved slow; I had made my greatest effort and it was not within my reach to teleport Pang’s car over.

It started drizzling. I did not mind my effort to wake up early to go into waste as long as there were fewer things to do. The sky pardoned us and the run was cancelled.

The officer in charge started giving us briefing and he thanked us for making the effort to go down to help out. Also, he indirectly said about my lateness, which quite irritated me. He insisted on taking actions against the person who did not turn up and as well as the person who did not inform him of getting Mani as the replacement.

Logically, he as the highest rank, the only signed on guy, an experienced warrant officer who was in charge of the run and as well as the only person insisted in taking revenge should be doing the evil job. However, he made Edgar to report to Shep instead.

We went back to report to him and he claimed that he did not know Quek was in charge of getting us to help him and that was why he told us to report to Shep in the first place. That was so fake.

Spreading of religion

[Saturday, 24 June, 2006]

I was at Toa Payoh, feeling so pissed off that I did not feel like talking at all. The fury choked in my chest and went downwards to inflate “gas” inside my stomach.

I thought it was just a normal teen games carnival to promote sports and healthy living. I gladly accompanied Vivi down for the closing ceremony as her team manager insisted her to go down. I could have spent the longest time alone with her if not that we had to reach there by 1815h.

Her two friends including her manager reached earlier than us. The rest were of course late. We went to the MacDonald’s after some waiting and takeaway our dinner when I thought we were late already but we went back to the MRT station instead. We could have a nice meal at the restaurant instead of eating awkwardly, holding the plastic bags and even being the target of some attention-seeking guys.

All was well until we reached the place. Usually prize presentation was swift but it did not seem to end so early this time. I recalled Vivi spent quite some time there for the opening ceremony one or two weeks ago and everything seemed so weird to me.

I did not care who the organisers were though the PA system quite amazed me; the eight speakers powered the air-conditioned place well. It was first time I sat at the middle of the hall where volleyball players dreamed to play their finals at.

There was a big screen powered by the projector from the back and a band with a girl seemed sweet from a distant was performing. However, the way they got all the winners of different games down in large groups was awful and meaningless. Then, there were breaks for lucky draw and I started to find it fishier for the dragging of time.

An insane approach from them was to get a muscular guy to give a speech. Then, he started to preach about his religion and I found it totally no link to the carnival. He talked about how rich he was but all his wealth and family did not matter much to him except for his special “someone” in his heart. I felt like asking him to give me all his money and properties and he would definitely regret his words some months later.

Anyway, there was another muscular guy and both of them gave a tensed feeling, making everyone felt so weak and had to be somehow obedient and comply with them. I did not know it was some psychology game the organisers were playing until they got a very young Thai soccer player to showcase his skill.

The emcee questioned him about his seven days stay in Singapore and he answered everything in Thai language. The emcee would then translate for him. There was nothing suspicious at first until the second question the boy finished his sentences in less than ten seconds but the emcee translated it for nearly a minute and then I realised it was a scheme. I doubted his understanding of Thai language.

With all the apprehensive things going on, I turned to Vivi who explained to me that this carnival was organised by a religion group and then I realised it was a scheme. That was the reason why the opening and closing ceremony were such dragging events and at intervals there were people to preach about the religion.

They obviously had a good vision to influence young people because they would eventually grow up to be rich adults and that at their ages it was easier to manipulate their minds. They were also more naïve and enthusiastic, which could draw more people in.

It reminded me of the past when I was invited to a “concert” and my friend did not even stay more than five minutes on the “stage” to sing. All the songs were about their religion and that everyone just seemed so hypnotized. It was the most uncomfortable place I had ever been to, with the ghostly air all over me and ready to kill my purity anytime.

Although I felt so much like leaving the unholy place, I did not want to leave Vivi behind. She was alright with everything, willing to turn a deaf ear to the craps the organisers were trying to implant to everyone. I could not withstand it that I was indirectly helping them in boosting the total number of people there. I stayed put since I had to keep an eye on Vivi no matter what.

Towards the end of the crap event when I was still calm enough to keep my cool, the emcee asked each manager of the teams to get feedbacks. Logically it should be feedbacks about how the games were conducted, to seek improvement for the future events; however, their ill-intentions were surfaced out instead.

They were not expecting for comments like “the event is fun” or “the referee is biased”, but all about their religion. So, they were asking everyone like “do you want to join my religion?”

It totally disgusted me and I felt like a puppet being fooled to the place like all other people. I got a very clear picture of the real intention of the organisers. The managers of each team were their believers and that was another smart way of preaching through peer pressure. It was so hypocrite of them; it was an insult to sports.

I refused to submit to scheme and in their worthless efforts to breech their religion it turned my attitude negative instead. I was infuriated and the urge to leave the place was enormous for all the threatening brainwashed people polluting the place.

I respected freedom of speech, as well as belief; however, it was irritating to keep talking and pestering others to believe and commit to it when obviously people like me had no interest at all. And if one day I would be so foolishly to fall in love with it, I would throw myself in and need no one to annoy me.

It was the same for all religions that no one should be preaching by underhand methods inclusive of peer pressure, babes or sports. That was also the same reason why I did not intend to join any big charity organisations for their publicity seemed hypocrite sometimes.

I felt so sad. The burning agony in my heart told me how cruel the organisers were to rob my private time with Vivi away. I was also robbed off of speech and was feeling guilty that I was making Vivi worried. I could not start off the explanation to express how disgusted I felt totally.

Irritating brother

[Sunday, 25 June, 2006]

When I was busy with my stuffs last night, my younger brother exclaimed that he had found some small notebooks from a cupboard like as if he had strike lottery. It was not the first time he had gone to the same cupboard to take stationary, sounding like the things there were dropped from the heaven and owned by no one.

Besides having the hobby of collecting dollar notes with nice serial numbers (somehow my old collection was with him or my mum), I idolize notepads with good design and would love to grab the shelves of them from all the bookshops.

So, I had to get out of my chair and search for some not so well designed ones for him.

I woke up early for volleyball this morning and dozed off at around five. I was waken up by my mum to go down to have dinner with my younger brother before he went to book in. it was very reluctant of me to get up of my mattress when I was total drained off my energy and that was still deprived of sleep. I had many things to do at home and that my elder brother and his girlfriend were staying in the room.

Since he wanted to go to the optical shop, he went down first while I took a slip of water and put on my shirt and geared up my phone, wallet and keys into my pouch. As I was stepping out of my house, I realised my slippers were gone again. Obviously my brother had taken them once again for the 382430th time.

It was very irritating for the disrespectful act again. I was not trying to be stingy or selfish but obviously I just wanted to use them since I had bought them and not any other pairs which were most probably more expensive.

Since I was trying hard to sacrifice myself already by wanting to go down and yet faced such crap, I told my mum to go down herself.

Change of new domain name provider

[Friday, 23 June, 2006]

As my domain name http://sillydumb.com was going to be expired, I quickly switched over to a new provider http://godaddy.com a few days before it happened.

I had to thank Ganz again for subscribing with the earlier provider for me; while this time I used my elder brother’s debit card to do it. GoDaddy was recommended by Mike, though I always thought it cost US$1.99, US$6.99 was still cheaper than the previous one.

Then, I was facing problems with the configuration that my domain was down for more than a day. It sucked that I had to wait for hours for each request to be made but I supposed all providers were the same.

http://sillydumb.com was finally up again but I would be trying to mask the domain name and actual webhost address well, thus the domain name might be down anytime.