Dear Dreams – Page 233

The gone television set

The 21’ inches television set bought by my father nearly ten years ago had declared its joint investment into my father’s salted duck eggs business two weeks ago.

It happened so suddenly with some awful smell and I thought there was a new commercial advertisement showing black screen just to attract extra attentions. I would not have discovered it when I was so into my typing in front of the computer until smokes came out from the television set.

And so now without a television set in the living room, I am much more productive. However, the backache still gets me to go into the room to lie down often. To be fair to the evil aching, I am lack of sleep sometimes and that explains the part of the problem.

I have quitted quite a number of shows. Often, I will miss those that I plan to watch as well. Hence, I am one step further away from relaxing myself once again.

Never understand

One thing I cannot understand about my mum is that she keeps complaining about the high electricity bill each month but she never wants to save up.

She knows well air-con is very energy-consuming but she still insists in using it every night.

At first I thought after my younger brother had enlisted, things would be better. However, my mum still insists in switching it on every night and finally I realise it is not my younger brother who wants to enjoy such luxury.

To me, it is more of torment instead. I think using of air-con during normal or cold weather is a waste of money and resource; moreover it will lower the temperature to an unbearable degree. Why pay extra money to torture yourself?

My mum used to be such a miser but now I cannot be certain of it anymore. It is definitely not money well-spent. I mean I do not mind and would definitely appreciate it if the weather is extremely hot that fans cannot help to keep us comfortable.

The next culprit is none other than my elder brother. Last time when he was serving the army, electricity bills were much lower.

He is an enjoyer and would do anything that can please himself regardless of the cost. Despites complaints from my mum, he would switch on the air-con even in the day.

Situations become worse now after he gets a girlfriend who visits my house very often; he uses air-con almost everyday for long hours until the electricity bills are kind of insane.

Even though he has been earning more than me since young, whether getting part-time job or serving the army and till now as an insurance agent, he has been spending so much more than me without saving any cent each month. Basically, his bank account falls to near zero each month and I really wonder if he has any plan for the future.

Another big issue is the mobile phone bill each month. My brother’s bill is more than hundred dollars each month. The money my mum has to pay for his phone bill is more than the price of all the plans except the most expensive one in all the three mobile phone subscribers.

If you do not have a big head, do not wear such a big helmet.

Totally lost

[Monday, 24 April, 2006]

Yuqing sent me all the way home with my “new” monitor in the rain.

The journey was of dangers and tiredness. The vehicles in front were splashing powders of water on the windscreen and there was this curve after Tanglin Mall that the opposite car dumped the whole pile of water till we lost sight for a second.

This day wrote another unhappy era of my life.

I was intending to give Yuqing a treat after that but misfortunate happened. I called my mum in the late afternoon and she finally told me she wanted to have steamboat at Marina South, which was already planned with my elder brother. This ridiculous last minute notice would not have reached me before I stepped home, until I called her.

I was in a dead fixed. I could not leave Yuqing alone for dinner after he had done a great service to me, nor could I disappoint my mum; the next day was her birthday and she had gone Marina South with us for only once in her entire life.

However, we had already celebrated her birthday earlier two weeks ago with my younger brother’s presence; I had even accompanied her and my younger brother for dinner the day before. I thought that was enough.

Besides, I hated dining outside because it wasted lots of my time to travel and wait for the food being served and the rest to finish eating. I also hated the smell of oil on my body and shirt. Having dinner there was worse.

Being struck in a speechless frustration, it aided me greatly in worsening my headache and giddiness. Filial and loyalty screwed me up big time.

Alas, he was able to find two of his friends to accompany him. It was still a night with stricken guilt.

Seeing

No doubt that the urge to see is enormous, you might not be happy even if your wish comes true.

You get tired suddenly and giddiness befalls. Lostness captivates your entire body, leaving your head in endless aches.

You have a battle over desire at the mean time.

You are being robbed of strategy that you completely know nothing about the next deployment.

Seeing though is of a great surprise and improvement, also spells an earlier drawback.

A need to recuperate from the exhaustion

[Sunday, April 23, 2006]

As planned, I stayed home almost the whole day to recuperate and touch up on my stuffs – packing of my wardrobe.

I woke up quite early but dozed off after some time. The day was not very smooth as I realised the need to help my younger brother in his preparation for his return to Tekong. I almost drained off my Doraemon’s pouch for him – my black tapes, kiwi, mini toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and casing etc.

Sadly, he would be confirmed the next week for the seven days field camp. He reminded of how ridiculous trainings could be and all my past unhappy life when I tried too hard to be a good soldier and in return got my injuries.

It was not long before my back started to ache but progress was slow. Soon, it was near evening and my mum came home to ask us down for dinner together. I finally realised which stall my mum always bought my dinner from, for the dishes looked and tasted completely the same.

As we went back home, my mum helped my brother to sew the pathetic sling bag before he was rushing off. Then, he asked me if I had ear piece for his 6610 which he could not find. I handed him one pair but it was not for the same model. Then, I had to give him my new 6230I’s ear piece since he wanted to listen to radio using his phone.

I couldn’t bear to part with it though it was just a pair of ear piece. I was keeping it inside a plastic bag, trying to treasure it dearly as I really needed it. I was allergy to mobile phone radiation that I needed it badly to reduce the harm if someone were to call me to chat on my new free incoming call line.

My elder brother and his girlfriend finally returned from Thailand and I had to stop my packing so as to not disturb them inside the room. I had done too little thing for the day.

Anyway, as promised, he brought some necklaces back so that I had more choices to wear when going out in future.

Ah Bee's beach invitation

[Saturday, 22 April, 2006]

The grey clouds were triumphing over the sky as the sun was setting. They stretched like huge army of the greatest animated movies, so magnificent and enchanting.

It was then I realised the colours red, orange and grey could blend together nicely. Sunset was great and the threatening dark clouds just seemed too benevolent to chase us away.

Nobody saw my urge to take out my camera to capture the most beautiful scenery with the beautiful people. I never wanted to leave the court. The allurement and weariness challenged me to drop out but I had been too stubborn.

No doubt, it was a great day. I did not like the idea of me coordinating with everyone but luckily Weitat had done great helps to get Ken and Junrong down to join us. It was Ah Bee’s idea actually and so many people predicted he would not make it in the end; it was true except that he was so unlucky to run a fever in the morning.

Weitat was so crafty to tell Ken to meet at 1130h when we were supposed to meet at 1100h. I postponed it to 1200h since Anqi and Kachua would be going in themselves later and we did not have many people. In the end, Weitat woke up at 1130h instead and we had to wait until twelve plus for him.

Feng En, Fenghui, Huimin, Yuting and her friend were inside. We started playing together after some time. I did not like the weather for it was too windy; the ball was blown away before and after I dug or set. I realised it was stupid to jog just the night before.

Yuting’s friend soon got me very irritated. He could talk non-stop and even started to insult other players when he himself was not even an average one. The girls had had enough of him as well. The worst thing was that he made me take extra steps and runs each time the ball came over to our side of the court. They planned to go for a movie in the evening but dropped the idea since it was too rush. Somehow, that pest left us in peace.

As the wind slowed down its pace, everyone was so engrossed in the game. Nobody remembered about photo-taking or the earlier plan to go for kayaking. We did not stop until the sky was almost totally dark and rain started to pour.

My juniors separated with us. We took a long walk out to main land as the departure hall was too crowded to even queue up. Dinner was like usual at the food court with lots of craps.

Flawless

Have you ever realised the power of beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?

It is so strong that even when everyone knows the girl is no longer as pretty as in the past, someone still thinks she is the most beautiful girl.

He keeps quiet because somehow their friendship seems to be taken to a test where they hardly talk to each other.

She has never appeared in his contact list once for the entire year though she has been going online; he never knows what has happened but always expects for the worst; he imagines himself as a pest, losing confident no matter how strong he tries to get when it comes to dealing with his princess.

He never forgets the date she has promised him, be it another one year, one decade or even one century. He was once a fortunate guy until repeatedly being rejected for his proposals. She is never free for him.

They have never been close as friends that he knows well nothing can progress further. For his phobia he has taken a step out to strife for his own happiness, but she has been leading him further back.

Her voice continues to mesmerize him as he takes short glances at her. Her laughers take him rides to the heaven times and times again. No one has noticed how he is enjoying her gestures.

Her eyes, her lips and her complexion, though not perfect but have greatly influenced his concentration for the day. There is too much charisma within her.

His heart beats for the urge to draw nearer to her, still as depressive, as night falls to their departure.

She is so beautiful.

Enjoying compliments

I really appreciate compliments especially to my works. Some people may start to say I am vain, but the satisfactory to commitments is great when people are admiring them.
So much thought came into my mind as Siu Hang suddenly messaged me yesterday early morning right after midnight to question me about my works. I took a walk into the website “Fallen For Pink” (http://fallenforpink.sillydumb.com) once again.
With the efforts I had put in for it, I really appreciate myself. It took months to finish the writing as to get to the mood to pen things down. I had never given up.
I always have this low confident about myself that I think my works are under satisfactory; this is why I keep changing the layout of my personal website. But this time I seem to have grown very fond of it. Perhaps, it is due to the absence of seeing it for long.
What makes writing interesting and well-liked is the realistic contents; true life story is of course a positive attribute though some facts of life can be astonishing. I cherish my life experiences. People who have even tried to harm or take advantages of me are painting my life with colours as well.
There is just this pity that my languages powers are not strong. No doubt, I will continue to write, so that thoughts can be poured out from my mind; for greater understanding.
Thanks to all those who turn my efforts into accomplishments.

Dreamed of Cai Chun Jia

[Saturday, 22 April 2006]

I just woke up, dreamed of the singer Cai Chun Jia and another babe.

I wanted to take photo with this singer but after a few individual shots, my mum’s friend wanted me to help them to take family photos.

Suddenly I realised the flash was not working. I scrolled down the photos to discover that my younger brother had taken a lot of photos with his friends just a moment ago; the low battery had caused the unavailability of the flash. I regretted so badly to pass him the camera.

Both the singer and the babe were then missing.

It seemed to be a long dream, which I could not remember the rest of the weird encounters I had inside.

It was a two-hour sleep but not enough to not let my eyes be weary now.

Jog finally

[Friday, 21 April, 2006]

I finally went for a jog again after doing seventeen pull-ups. 14’38 for six rounds at level three was a great decrement in speed, but it was the first time I went for six rounds, which was certainly more than 2.4km.

The burning on my chest after the first round mocked at me that I should not have taken the small piece of bread just before going down. However, I really needed it for I was already so hungry at 1930h. So, breathing was difficult and I had to slow down even though I still had strength to speed up.

There was a pair of mother and son acting weird at the fitness corner. The old people were doing their usual exercises, aunties were chatting under the shelters, ladies were walking their dogs and some China people were chatting at the table, while two idiots were standing under another shelter, smoking away their lives.

As I was taking a stroll after the jog to cool down, I stopped by to greet the auntie who stayed below my house. She was with another auntie and asked me to sit down. She started bombing me in Hokkien and I could hardly pronounce anything properly.

She was talking about my dad’s and other relatives’ deaths and also my army life. She was so curious that why I was jogging on my own when I was supposed to have trainings in camp already. I had not been exercising for donkey months already.

I hope I can continue to exercise regularly to improve my back and knees’ conditions; but I don’t know if I should be jogging because the impact on the ground might worsen my knees’ injuries. It is just that these days, after returning from camp every evening, I am too tired to do anything.