Dear Dreams – Page 237

Pack up

I finally started to pack up my work area on Thursday night. It actually took me more than two hours to sort out all the papers, documents, medicine and other stuffs, which I did not expect it to be so long.

Before I realised, time had passed so swiftly that I could not even grab any moment of enjoyment. I still could not adapt to these long hours of out-of-house lifestyle, where stuffs piled up like mountains and endless sea.

I cannot continue sitting down there, waiting to be pampered; I cannot wish for helps like in the past where all my sincere mentors were around.

Polyclinic, sighs

I went to the polyclinic again. It was the fourth time for the same problems but the fourth different doctor I was assigned to. I really wished I could see the same ones who told me to go back if I had not recovered. So, it had been more than three months I suffered, they indirectly thought it was not long enough.

I told her my nostrils were not wet; I reminded her I had been there three times already. She gave me all the same medicine, including some pills for flu. She said nose allergy caused everything and it was on and off effects; but my condition had been like this since end of last year.

One day, I might sleep breathlessly to my death; or one day, I might not see all the beautiful things anymore.

Flood you

Just as Edgar complained to me just now that I did not forward emails to him, I supposed some others were thinking alike.

I believe I have conveyed my message through my journals and even Friendster account to friends who are interested to receive those funny or interesting forwarded emails from me, to ask them to let me know. A recent entry few weeks back I have included as well; but so far, nobody has emailed me to express interest.

I have another list of contacts in my previous Yahoo email account, which I have emailed every single one of them to drop me a message to my Gmail account; very few have done so. My motive for doing so is to make sure the email accounts of my friends are still in usage, so that I do not receive many rebounded emails.

For those friends who has a very small storage space for their emails, please let me know so that I can send you an invitation to get a free Gmail account, which has allocation of more than 2.5 Gigabytes storage space.

My main purpose of forwarding emails is no other than to share the jokes around. I do filter off meaningless and dull ones, and even chain mails.

For friends who are interested, just drop me a message with your email address or send me an email directly; and I will add you when I’m free.

Peh's first audition

I failed to revive the video clip taken when Peh was singing. The file size was there (28.6mb big) but it just could not work.

It was a half day work again for the afternoon MA (medical appointment) at MMI (Militry Medical Institute). This time, Yongfu was going there too (different storey though) and so we decided to go together.

I was rebellious for the first time; as he asked me to have lunch at NUS, I did not even bother to go to the cookhouse to scan my card. It was a waste of money but I thought it was okay for the rare coincidence.

It was the usual route there but this time we went to the canteen straight. I felt dumb walking to the seats a few times, especially in my uniform. Then, we decided to carry our bags along since there were quite a number of empty seats.

We both got the chicken chop for $2.20 each, feeling so pleased with the price much cheaper than NP ($2.80) and SP ($2.70), and any other places. It tasted quite alright but the fries could be improved.

Since Yongfu and I would be going to the same direction after our MA, I tried to coordinate with him. My MA was at 2pm and his one was at 3pm, but he was going there earlier.

So, I tried to finish up everything fast and cut down the number of times I had to work out. It took me an hour still. In the midst, I triggered the pain on my right middle finger carelessly ocassionally. Anyway, I checked my phone after that and Yongfu had already left the building long ago.

After reaching home, the sky was roaring loudly, threatening to soak me in water anytime. I was exhausted but my determination to go and give Peh my support overwhelmed every single thoughts of giving up. I must be crazy.

Before I left the house, I messaged Peh in MSN to get more information. I was not a genious but enough to create surprises.

Me: Want to go Jurong Point? [far enough from his house and Marina Square]

Peh: No, I have audition later. [might be foolishly feeling bad for rejecting me?]

Me: Wah! Where is it? [pretending once again]

Peh: Marina Square.

Me: Which part? … Blah …

Peh: … Blah …

Me: Who is going down to support you?

Peh: Sem and his friends. [Sem is the only one who had promised to go]

Me: Haha. He bluffs you one! He’s joining Gilbert and I at Jurong Point now. [I lied again!]

Peh: Maybe he will join me later. [stunned?]

Me: But we’re catching movie at 8pm. [my greatest lie – definitely no time to go down if we were to catch a movie!]

Peh: Nevermind. I SMS him and ask. [at the same time I called Sem to inform him about my trick]

Me: Your “Ren Yuan” (personal connection) not good lo! [trying to sound it more real for him to believe Sem is really not going down]

Peh: … Blah …

Me: … Blah …

Peh: … Blah …

Me: Must introduce me if got any pretty contestant okay? [trying to sound it super duper real that I’m not going down]

Peh: Despo.

Both: … Blah …

I set off and reached fifteen minutes earlier like Gilbert. Then we spent some time at the MPH, where I read my Photography magazines. They were so expensive that I had never given a thought to purchase any. Gilbert looked so bored that I stopped reading and continued with his shopping.

Sem and Tze Siang were late. We met up at the Long John Silver. I could not stop laughing when Sem told me he did not reply Peh’s several SMSes. After finishing our dinner, we moved on to the Live cafe – Ai Qing Hai.

Peh was sitting down there alone and I believed he must be very happy and surprised to see us there. Sem started to tease me when his two friends arrived because one of them, the girl, knew Wanxin – my sweet ex polymate who had suddenly lost contact with me. I did not feel shy but awkward that she was asking for me. Sem could have played some pranks on me.

The table was small. The chairs were identical to the one I always used at home, except that they had some cushion on the sitting area. The banana milkshake I ordered tasted almost plain, without any taste of banana, and the pearls were totally tasteless.

We had our toilet break soon and Sem led us into the Pan Pacific hotel. We were questioned by a lady who told us to use the toilet at the lobby instead.

Though we were no very shabbily dressed, our use of term (“toilet” instead of “washroom”) kind of gave us off. We made a few wasted trip one level down and finally found the high class toilet. Each of them tried so hard to push the tap down, not noticing that they were fully automatical ones. Just as we were turning into the cafe, we saw the toilet just next to it.

There were forty contestants for the singing job. Basically the contestants were so good in singing that I decided I should never ever let them hear my embarrassing singing.

Peh was placed at the thirty-six seat, whereas another friend was just a few numbers in front of him, therefore I decided to prepare my camera only when his friend went up. Suddenly, the lady called for his name and we were all stunned since we were expecting his friend to go up first.

I quickly took out my camera as he approached the stage and decided to just adjust the setting without changing the batteries (the rechargeable ones which I had used for a few outings without charging). Halfway through, the empty cell red logo blinked and it seemed to freeze immediately without time for me to halt and close it. It seemed that the batteries had dried up before the video clip was stored properly.

Anyway, Peh had impressed many people even though he had forgotten his lyrics for a few seconds that the clapping sound was still quite loud when some of the contestants had left.

We were billed around $12.50 each person inclusive of GST for just one lousy cup of drinks. It could be a good place to bring my future girlfriend to but even the quality of the water sucked so much, I had to rethink over it first.

Not even enough

My elder brother had finally sent the two rabbits away last Wednesday. He brought them back to the shop (his ex girlfriend’s workplace) where he bought them.

The living room is thus more spacious than before and I strongly believe my health condition will improve. Though it seems neater now, my working place is in fact looking more like a junk area.

There are too many things to settle. I have edited and uploaded some photos to the previous journal entries; I have updated the calendar with upcoming events. I’m still lagging of a few expired entries and other stories. Inspirations have been vanishing.

Ou Xiang’s website is still on pending, together with Xiuyi’s; I’m not sure what they really want and have gotten nothing from them yet except for a lengthy report. I cannot promise things which I do not have full confident in.

Forty-eight hours a day will not be enough.

The fun kids and the gathering at funeral

Last Friday, I did not go home straight after booking out. I had my dinner alone at Long John Silver, upsizing my drink to the largest cup. I sat there waiting for Bianhong while updating my diary.

Bianhong arrived after seven with his girlfriend and we set off to his grand dad’s funeral. We passed by Sem’s house and it was just somewhere further in.

I had actually been to the house before years ago, there were still some short captures inside my mind, After Bianhong bathed, we went down together.

I almost could not recognise his mum. His eldest sister, Wanyi, reminded me of Tiffany, whereas Wanting looked alike. Wanying, same as her elder sister, could not recognise me anymore. It was quite sad for a few years back both of them were always clinging to me.

Bianhong had many other cousins there and they were so cute that I was quite reluctant to leave. We crapped around and they often ganged up to bully me. They made me remove my watch like as if I was part of their family and even complained about the colours of my shirt.

Alvin Cheong went as well and followed by Chuanjie, Sichun, Junrong, Weixiong and another guy not to be mentioned. It was kind of a gathering, especially rare to see Weixiong around. However, I spent a lot of time folding the incest papers instead to try to impress the kids.

That early morning, I wanted to stay to accompany Bianhong as well as to play with the cuties. However, I was totally unprepared as Bianhong had only informed me when I was staying overnight in camp on Thursday night. The most important reasons were that I had a haircut appointment hours later and also the swimming outing with Gilbert, Chua, Weichuan and Kenny.

I really appreciated Alvin Cheong for sending me home, else I would have to take a cab with double charge instead.

Beach and the dinner

Evelyn woke me up at around eleven for the beach. I was not in any mind to think but she knocked me up by saying that was her first invitation. On the account of my very old friend Zheng Fang as well, I had to go and so I dragged myself up.

I spent ten to twenty minutes to clear my emails and read my friends’ blogs. Breakfast was cornflake. Since it was actually not the only invitation, I was quite lost for the whole morning. Peh and Gilbert were going for KTV at eleven and my brother was going during the afternoon at Orchard; I really wished I could join all the three outings.

It was a usual route to Sunsetbay – taking train from Tanjong Pagar to Outram and transiting to Harbourfront, and next was taking shuttle bus into Sentosa and then transiting to Blue line bus and walking from the Beach car park.

Something really freaked me out was the “darkness” inside the shuttle bus into Sentosa. One weirdo from a big group sat besides me and kept sounding so childish, like as if he had lost his voice. He reminded me of those rituals that required summoning ghosts into bodies. I seriously believed he was an idiot until I heard him talk normal to his friends but changed back to his disgusting tone again. It was a very bad start of the day.

Luckily the beach was almost white and in fact there were more cuties than usual. I joined Zheng Fang and Evelyn with their friends. They all seemed so newbie that I could play very relaxingly; however, I injured my right middle finger with the punch near the net in order to save a ball.

I could have used knuckles instead but just too lazy to think suddenly. I did not expect it at all, forgetting that I had sprained the whole finger so badly at CCHSM (Chung Cheng High School Main) years ago and till now the finger was out of shape near the tips; the finger was thus weaker than before.

Though the weather was hot, I was not as tired as the rest; perhaps, I had immune to the sun since I had a swim just a day before. However, occasionally I felt depressed for I had not played with experts for quite long already and the last few beach outings certainly had dropped my skill more since I was playing without using brain.

Since my nerve on the finger was injured, I could not grab both hands properly for the pain and miscued a few times which I could not hit the ball towards left. It was embarrassing. We had a few games with some newbie and we lost the first set!

It became fun when we went for kayaking. Five of us tried to capsize each other’s kayak and after finishing them off, I accidentally overturned mine as well. I had many rounds of fun until I tried to help Sabrina to get up and she managed to play me with the help of Dawson (not sure of the spelling). Before I got to sit down, I was attacked again but I managed to get my revenge back.

We went into the NTUC chalet for our bathe. There were craps all the way until Harbourfront Centre, where we had our dinner at Long Men restaurant. There was a wedding dinner being conducted and I almost did not dare to step in with my shorts and slippers. It was a long walk into a room across the event, with awkwardness.

In future, I would never hold my wedding dinner there because there were too many people like us, who loved to wear ultimate causally around, even to restaurants. It was not good to let my guests see shorts and slippers.

We ordered so many dishes since it was a buffet. There were at least eighteen dishes and I was told that we had eaten at least eighty percent of the food in the list. I loved the salad and the black pepper crab (too bad I was already too full to eat more). The main topic during the dinner was focusing on one of their classmates, a fat egoist. I was laughing so badly that my stomach seemed to be exploding at the end of the dinner when I was hundred percent full.

It was a good meal with good people except the high bill at $27 each after ten percent discount.

Can you handle them?

I have been so busy for the past few weeks that I have kept so many interesting emails that are forwarded from my friends. Usually, I would share them immediately by forwarding them to other friends.

A moment ago, I have delivered some of the unforwarded emails to friends in my address book. There are still quite a handful number of them left but I decide not to flood everyone.

In fact, I’m not really sure who are enjoying the mails and who are feeling annoyed over them. It is all done with a good intention after all – to entertain friends.

If you have been receiving my forwarded emails or if it is the opposite, let me know about it so that I can add or remove your email from my list.

Swimming and the shopping

Today was quite a fruitless day. I set the swimming venue at Clementi so that Kenny could join in; nevertheless, it was not as well-planned.

Kenny’s routine was to go to the gym first before swimming and tanning at Clementi Swimming Complex. He was comfortable to meet us at noon time but Gilbert insisted that the timing was too late and he wanted nine in the morning. I had haircut appointment at eight thirty and therefore the earliest was 10.30am and I was glad that Kenny could join us for a while before we left.

I was surprised that Weichuan could make it as well. He was not a swimmer but was willingly to accompany us for a short while before he went to meet other friends. Chua was late again.

I did not like it when the competition pool was quite full. There was another less crowded fifty metres pool but the troublesome Gilbert killed my idea as it was shallower.

As I was still having a bit of difficulty in breathing, I had to struggle inside the water sometimes. The earlier fast-walk together with the earlier lack of sleep and water caused tiredness in me. After Weichuan left, I had a cramp on my left toes inside the toilet.

I managed to recover fast this time and walk back to the pool to find Chua and Gilbert, but it reacted again. I stood there, trying to pretend nothing had happened and both of them left me there for their swim. I had suntan instead while Gilbert continued another eight laps to make it twenty.

We gave up on waiting for Kenny and finally he arrived after we finished bathing. He went alone for his tanning while the three of us went to the Clementi hawker centre for lunch. The yun tun mee was not very nice and Gilbert did not even finish his $3 plate. As we were eating, it started to pour and it proved Gilbert right that we should leave early.

Chua left for home while the remaining two of us took bus 51 down to Queensway Shopping Centre. It was a longer route as warned by my BMCC buddies long ago as compared to bus 197 but Gilbert thought it was better to alight nearer to the building.

Terry had called and messaged me a number of times but in the end he left for PS before we arrived. For the whole outing, I had messaged and received so many calls whereas it did not turn up so good. Sam had his Japanese class, whereas Kailin woke up only after our lunch. I seriously could have organised it at Delta Swimming Complex instead.

As we were walking around, Tze Siang arrived. I was in a dilemma whether to get a swimming goggle since I was using a very old one with lots of scratches, which belonged to my brother. Gilbert, the Shopping King (or Queen?), was rushing everywhere like usual, abandoning us like as if he was out alone.

I managed to have a glance at some items that had caught my attention. First was a $22 cap and then a very impressive shirt which cost $89, both at the same shop. Money was a big problem. One of the girls selling drinks at basement was pretty but we did not really go near to see.

As we proceeded on to Ikea, we had great time viewing all the interior designs. The lust for them was big, however, too far to be fulfilled. Gilbert was going fast on his way sometimes and my feet started to ache. There were a few nice chairs and my favourite one cost $199. Since I spent so much time in front of the computer everyday, I should have gotten myself a comfortable chair but it was definitely not within my budget.

I found another chair at the price of $45 but it was sold out already. The sale was a great pull of customers and before I realised, the first level was so packed that we could hardly move. I started to drain off and went into silent mode.

We got nothing at the end of the day. They got a bottle of mineral water each at Anchor Point, whereas Gilbert had a fingertip bite and Tze Siang could not hold his stomach longer and took a plate of chicken rice. After a little shop around while waiting for Gilbert, we bid each other goodbye.

Is there a change?

“You look like Kailun in the past; I mean your attitude,” he said to the newcomer. “He always tidied up the office though it seemed pointless.”

Am I being very slack nowadays? There are indeed times when I’m sitting around doing nothing, but I supposed I’m still far better than most of them. There are too many reasons behind everything that I really stay helpless.

The main reason that I’m doing nothing is none other than I’m very tired, physically. The backache is torturing me so cruelly that I have to sit and even lie down frequently. Recently, it has worsened so much that I’m even sweating a lot at the back.

Next, I suppose I’m more into the inventory part of the job than before. I spend more time on chasing people for overdue equipments and even more time on finding out the locations. There are also many other things I’m into. I’m very glad whenever I’m able to sit down to idle or have a few games.

Also, I’m trying to be less pro-active to avoid being taken for granted (already been happening). I despise that both the more senior and more junior people are slacking while the “middle grouped” guy is doing more job. It is not the matter of jealousy or calculative but of self-esteem and responsibility.

Mental tiredness is one of the factors as well. It has never being fair in work; I’m not allowed to represent the formation for volleyball but I need to carry heavy stuffs in camp. I have tried so hard to set good example for freshmen but the rest show the way to slackness instead. There is too little more that I can do.

Is there really a chance in me? Is it for the better or worse? Does it matter?