Dear Dreams – Page 251

Roti prata

Just when I was typing my journal, my mum came home and asked if I wanted to have supper. Upon seeing her enthusiasm, I didn’t want to disappoint her.

It was a morning that I didn’t have mood to have any food, little did my laziness willing to give in. My whole day of events had tired me out and I had some irritation on my nose that I couldn’t really taste anything perfectly. Besides, the pineapple my mum left in the refrigerator had already “cut” my tongue that it was kind of numb.

What I suggested a few nights ago was to go to the Kampong Bahru road near the old Gan Eng Seng School campus for roti prata. I hadn’t been there since graduated, therefore, there was always rooms for memorial.

It was tiring to stroll on my inflamed feet. It was more disappointing that they didn’t want to sell plain roti prata at that hour. We ordered three with eggs to share with one cup of ginger milk and normal tea, which cost $5.10.

The roti pratas were done fast. The eggs weren’t evenly spread and they weren’t really cooked.

Overall, it was a letdown.

I'm a good boy

It’s a new record!
My timing has been improving for the past days. I’m quite determinate to train myself up in order to face the upcoming volleyball matches and to be the old me again.
These three days I’ve been jogging downstairs my house at level three, which I estimate five rounds is equivalent to 2.4 kilometres. I’ve been taking fifteen seconds lesser to complete the five rounds each day. Even though it’s still over eleven minutes, I’m sure I can cut it down if my drive doesn’t wear off and if my body is able to take it…
Some people may be wondering why I’m still able to run when I’m supposed to be injured, little do they know the pain I’m enduring.
Jogging has little to do with my back, though it did happen before that the upper part of my back started to ache badly during a jog. My right knee gives me the most problems till now, such that after running, climbing stairs causes sharp pain; even walking on flat ground is hurting.
I was all excited about the physiotherapy appointment yesterday because it was going to be the first time both my back and knees problems were consulted together. I was ready to prone her with lots of questions.
Just when I thought since both cases were to be combined into one session in future, there would be less medical appointment for me in future; she told me the first consultation must be in individual session. So, she told me to book another appointment for my knees and then I had to go back to the heartless doctor in camp for renewal of the date since it valid for only a month and it had long been expired after all the delays.
We continued with talking about my back and she suggested using another technology to help me get better. It was called Traction. It injected another jab of excitements into me.
My butts almost went on fire! Dawn set me up with the machine and I was feeling very uncomfortable with the heat. I bear with it, hoping that it would reduce the problem, until the physiotherapist came and started the machine, I realised my ass was going to be tortured even longer.
Traction is better than the Interferential machine, such that I’m able to doze off during the treatment.
Anyway, shallow people have always thought that going for medical appointments means able to go home earlier. It’s not for my case since I’m always the last patient to leave the place as to make use of the time to work out more during the gym session. Yesterday, I stayed until five plus, which was even later than the Friday’s book-out timing.

The grand shifting

I’ve been transferring my old journals from Diary-x to Blogspot. I’ve never thought it’s such a big process that I’m beginning to feel so stressed and tired. My brain seems to be numbed and my head is going to fall anytime.

None can understand and see my perseverance; of course I don’t use it on very useful things most of the times. I must be so crazy to continue doing it. My eyes are tired and I’m feeling feverish.

One by one, I copy the entry over and the problem arouses whenever there’s picture in any of them. I’ve to re-upload them into Blogspot and then change the coding – extra work. Sometimes, something just cocks up and it takes longer time to finish the task.

Another problem is the Chinese fonts that Diary-x doesn’t display properly in the edit mode; it shows number codes and some symbols instead of the actual characters. Then, I’ve to search through my “original” copy using the date and time. Double entries occur a few times and it gets me mixed up and end up with more wastage of time.

Inputting the actual date and time is so tedious that I’ve missed out a few and have to re-edit the entries again.

Most people will most probably give up halfway.

Yes I’m stupid, but at least I’m trying to keep things going. I’m trying to catch up with my unrealistic time frame I’ve scheduled in my calendar. I’m lagging behind but at least I’m moving now.

Flipping through the old entries, I see a big difference as compared to my most recent ones. Those of the past are more emotional and sound poetic, unlike the recent ones that I’m always trying to put up a brave front, which I don’t know if it’s my true self.

Where’re my new poems? I may be too emotionless to write anymore and this is what I always want to be, as to reduce sadness. Do you prefer the poetic moody boy or the more optimist cold-blooded guy?

I realise my style of writing has also changed. I’m always towards the artistic style but somehow facts have forced me to put down more details about unhappy things so that I can refer to when I’m in need. And also due to the lack of time, I’m always trying to rush to complete each entry that less emotion has been placed in.

Just now, Kwang Han pointed out that my entries about girls may scare my potential admirers away. He’s not the first to talk about it, but I can’t remember who the earlier ones are.

Anyway, since most of the guys at a certain age will start to look at girls, I’ve just happened to commit the sin of what all of them do; nothing’s wrong. Girls do look at guys too.

Unlike other people, at least I’m honest about things. It’s too hypocrite to hide the flaws and pretend so innocent. Who cares anyway? I don’t believe any girl will fall for me after looking at my entries minus those about girls-watching or girls-crazy.

I’m just happy enough to have friends who try to understand me from my craps, who at least try to find out my recent news through my website.

And now, I’ve to stop my work because the night is expecting me to knock off. If only time permits, I’ll endure the pain.

Away from the doctors

When I was finally recovering from my months of coughing, just a moment of foolishness I got myself a can of sparkling orange drink to drench my thirst. The auntie nagged at me for I was having gastric problems already. It didn’t really affect my stomach but bring back the cough instead.

So, days of dry cough arrive once again. Together with the gastric problem that causes lost of appetite, I become so weak. The worst thing is my eyes getting tired so easily. They can turn red even during the day. They turn itchy and sometimes as if I’ve accidentally spilt chilli on them. It might be dry eyes or infection once again.

And right now I can’t go to the doctor when everyone’s taking leave and there won’t be enough people in the office. So, I’ve to wait and hopefully by next week I’ll recover.

Ice-cream seller at Chua Chu Kang

Raymond and I boarded the second shuttle bus and alighted together. Thinking it was still early, he decided to have ice-cream from the roadside motorcycle.

The auntie was of course pleased to entertain us and Raymond offered to give me a treat. I didn’t want it at first due to my cough, that the cleaner auntie had warned me not to take cold stuffs earlier on, but I was quite tempted.

I wanted to have the one in paper cup and was surprised to see she was using the styrofoam one that we normally used to drink coffee – that was quite big. As she kept asking me what favour I wanted, I got so confused because they usually just mix it.

In my usual self, so lazy to pick anything, I told her “anything”. She took a block of ice-cream and cut it into the size of the normal share for putting into the bread or biscuits.

When I was thinking that would be tedious for her to continue chopping it and then take other favours to repeat the process, she put the whole block into the paper cup and considered it done.

I stared with my eyes floated and questioned her in million doubts. Whereas she replied me with righteous that cup ice-cream should be done this way.

Obviously she didn’t understand what I meant and with my years of street knowledge, those ice-cream sellers would do some scoping from different ice-cream tubs for this kind of order.

I was too shocked to say more things and eventually walked away to leave her in her own dreamed market.

I was so embarrassed with the white cup and spoon. I was eating it like a dog, except that it was a cup and not a plate. I wanted to finish them up fast but realised I was done for when the part reaching out of the top of the cup was gone.

I tried to use the spoon to cut the remaining but the block was just too hard. When I succeeded for the first time, the small portion flew to the floor due to overuse of strength.

I must have blushed a lot at that point of time as I didn’t know what to do with the melting ice-cream on the floor near the MRT control station. I was completely lost and Raymond invited me to move further away when his ice-cream had completely infiltrated into his stomach.

I tried squeezing the bottom of the cup to push the ice-cream upwards but the cup broke and I quickly stopped. As Raymond slowly imparted me his recent stories in camp, the ice-cream finally got softer and soon I was able to use the spoon to tuck them into my mouth.

Ruiqin joined us and then I managed to reduce the strength of the ice-cream more. A passer-by had his trolley full of items dropped onto the floor and I watched Ruiqin and Raymond go forward to help out, while I held on to the cup and spoon on both hands, helplessly.

I quickly threw the remaining into my mouth, dumped the ugly cup and spoon, before I went forward to join in the fun.

Just when we were about to enter into the control station, I realised the sweeper had cleared the small portion of ice-cream on the floor and I finally felt relieved.

Slave for you

This bloody thumb drive just doesn’t work okay?

There’re limited things I can do but nobody understands. I’ve tried on my brother’s computer and it can’t be detected. I don’t know what’s wrong with it or perhaps the computer itself sucks.

I’ve been hesitating for hours to try on my computer and I really hate to do it. It’s not just a few minutes job to insert the bloody thumb drive into the USB port, then open the folder and drag everything inside and remove the thumb drive; the casing is so loose that I’m not supposed to touch it, not even to plug in anything into the USB port.

Yes I’ve done it and it causes my computer to hang first. Then the mouse can’t be detected and I’ve to restart it twice to make my system work. And again it just can’t work.

It’s not that I don’t want to help my friends – I’m too powerless. Buy me a better computer and I’ll spare the time for you. Things just aren’t simple and I’ve my reasons if I’ve to reject any help.

And I hate it when people come to me just to ask for MP3 files. If you don’t know it’s illegal then I’ve to tell you now – YES IT’S ILLEGAL.

Even if it’s legal, do you think it’s fair to keep bothering me? You’re not helping me in anything and instead, distracting me from my work.

You’ve your hands and time but you’re just lazy. I give you the URL to search for them but you refuse to. You’re not alone because dozens others are joining you to take things for granted.

Can’t you just simply send a message over just to have a friendly and sincere chat that will really make the day? Perhaps, if you’ve any personal problem I’ll be able to listen and give advices.

Looking at the babes

My enthusiasm to set off to camp each morning is lost as the school holidays start. Journeys are boring without good sighting.

I was always looking out for the girl who stayed in the same block as I. She was the most charismatic girl I had seen on my way to camp. It was pretty interesting to meet her in the morning to rush for the earlier train. She turned up from nowhere and I guessed she was taking the second lift located at the most inner part of the car park. My pace was quicker but she amazed me by reaching the MRT station right on time. This skinny NHSS girl was always my ice candy for her stylishness and spottiness. However, she always walked to the centre and following her was a bit obvious.

At the later timing, there used to be a JJC girl who would take the escalator on the right. From the path she took to the MRT station, I guessed she stayed at block one or two. She was a sweet sunshine beauty who would catch most of the guys’ sights. However, she went missing in action since the beginning of the A level prelim period.

It was until my younger brother and I realised that we could take the same train, I followed him to take the escalator at the left side. I started to notice about a girl from GMETHSS who should be staying in either block 7 or 8. She was near my height and almost my size. She had a pretty face and some kind of “dao-ness”; in fact she looked cool and sporty, possessing an x-factor. Unfortunately she was taking the opposite direction’s train.

Towards the next stop, there would be a sweet girl boarding the train. Sometimes she would stand besides me, while sometimes when I was luckier, she stood face to face with me at the sides of the door. She was small size and looked Japanese, not pretty at all angles but certainly huggable. After so many months, I failed to find out which school she was from, only to know it was near Buona Vista MRT.

There was another sweet netball girl from CTSS who boarded the train at Redhill to meet up with her other two friends. Her figure wasn’t good but she was very cute looking.

When my brother stopped going to school after his prelim papers, I made attempt to catch the earlier train and was rewarded. This girl from CCKS who boarded the train at Commonwealth made me leave house early everyday. She wasn’t as pretty as other girls but she resembled my second crush during my secondary school days – Peishan. She wasn’t very ladylike, nor was she a very slim well figured hot babe, it was this Simplicity and causally of hers that made me grow so attracted to her.

I’ve never ever managed to bring up my guts to approach any of the girls to make friends. It’ll be so good to have a sweet girl to keep me accompanied on the way to camp each morning just as a friend.

Maybe it’s better this way so that there won’t be another heart-breaker in this world since I’m always the one being hurt; unlike playboys on the street who can always make miracle and attract innocent girls, hurt them and turn them heartless.

The holidays are bringing more cons than pros. It’s also the marking of departure and new start – I may not be able to see any of them anymore because they may have graduated.

Nevertheless, the only thing that doesn’t change at all is that I’m still all alone, failing to find a blossom to pour out my thoughts.

Blame the night

I smile, I laugh, I scream and joke like a mad guy. This is how I become happier that I care less than before. I can’t be bothered about how others would think and mock about me.

This is the path to a better life I suppose, just like when I was young and more arrogant. This is the best way to strive on; I bring back my confidence by hiding my flaws and pretend I’m invincible.

I watched the documentary about volunteers; I know I shouldn’t be thinking too much of this enjoyment when I can’t even prioritise my time properly to scrub a secure path for my future.

I blame this night, that my mind can’t stop thinking even though my eyes are reddish and my brain isn’t functioning well.

Funan tour

When I finally thought of a place to go, to meet up with the guys and chill up, the organising got me sleepy. Just when I thought Guoxin was finally free to go out, he backed out suddenly.

I went to Funan Centre by myself in the thought of giving Ruoci a surprise. I crossed the bridge straight to level 2 and kept looking downstairs as I thought the shop she worked in was just a booth. Just a few steps away, I landed just outside the shop and I was shocked to see Eunice inside staring at me. Mingfa was intending to have dinner at Wisma but Ruoci managed to persuade him to dine there.

I took a walk by myself for more than an hour. I went in search of the old book store that used to sell second hand books but it had gone missing, or maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me.

I went up to the Challenger, saw some fantastic technologies. All the thumb drives, keyboards, mouse, webcams, furniture, CD casings, laptop bags, camera pouches and others looked so tempting. I was attracted to the sound speakers, realising the rose of my urge for unessential stuffs.

I received lots of SMSes from Anqi and calls from Mingfa and when I was too bored to walk around, I stopped outside the shop to wait for them. Then, we were served by the pretty Ruoci who didn’t give professional service. Eunice even squatted on the seats behind to wait for our orders.

The fish and chips I ordered weren’t nice, but it wasn’t their speciality afterall. The side dishes especially the mushroom soup had filled my stomach somehow before the main course and then my gastric acid was wrecking havoc again. In the end, I couldn’t even finish all the fries.

I could have looked very bad with the uncomfortableness, as thought I was dying. I still managed to take a picture with Ruoci before we left but the output wasn’t satisfying.

The warehouse and the beach

I can’t believe I’ll wake up so early this morning at eight plus. I really need to sleep more. I can’t even remember what time I’ve fallen asleep last night, not even the last thing I’ve done.

I overslept the day before when I was supposed to meet up with Kailin to the Mizuno warehouse sales. She woke me up by phone and I realised Kok Chiang wasn’t joining us anymore. So, I had to waste my money taking a cab over at the expense of getting less one shirt.

It was cool to see Michelle again after so long – as long as I last bought a new pair of shoes. We chatted for quite long over the Japan supplier not resuming the contract with them, and instead gave the offer to World of Sports.

It’s this business world that changes my habit of purchasing my sportswear. It’s such a big loss that I can’t get cheap and good quality stuffs. So, I’ll have to pay around 66% more if I want to get them elsewhere in future.

Michelle can actually distribute goods for another brand whose goods come from the same factory of Mizuno’s, but young sports people are too brand conscious. What they see are different from me, for I only go for cheap, good design and good quality stuffs, not so much of the brand. Without their support, the market can never be opened.

I bought a pair of court shoes for $50 which will definitely cost over hundred elsewhere. I wanted to get a pair of track shoes actually but the leftover sizes didn’t fit me at all. Michelle would replenish the warehouse with more goods after collecting back from some shops; by then I’d have more choices if I were quick enough and only if I wasn’t so lazy to make a trip down again. I also bought 2 polo shirts at $14 but given them to my brothers since they would need them more than I.

I went to the Harbourfront centre with Kailin, where Siewchin aka renyao, Kachua and Shauna joined us. The five of us went into Sentosa and then camped at Palawan beach. It was the day I spent another $12 to renew my islander card and to realise the temporary card had changed to a brighter blue card, which was much nicer.

After idling for some time, looking at young ah lians and ah bengs, we moved over to Sunsetbay, where we started a little stretching for volleyball. We played in a court with lousy players, but we weren’t good either. At least, we had two girls in our team of four and one injured me together with a super rusty Kachua.

It was a fine day. After the rain during the morning, the weather was so cool and welcoming. It was such a waste that we didn’t go in a big group and that the place wasn’t as crowded as in the past anymore. I did hear from Sam that there were many babes during weekdays but it was impossible for me to be down there when I was stuck in camp.

Anyway, it could be more fun for me if Mingfa or Guoxin was down there so that I didn’t have to be a setter and I’d certainly give the opponents some ball biscuits since the net was very low. Better luck next time!

As it got nearer to evening, the two Andys invited us to a game at the first court when it was empty. By then, Kachua was finally using his strength when the net was much higher. We had fun, especially to tease around with our mistakes.

We quitted after the match. Kailin went to her friend’s house straight away. After bathing, the remaining four of us went to the food court to have dinner before going home.