Dear Dreams – Page 211

Testimonial

As from Dictionary.com, the meanings of testimonial are

1. A statement in support of a particular truth, fact, or claim.
2. A written affirmation of another’s character or worth; a personal recommendation.
3. Something given in appreciation of a person’s service or achievement; a tribute.

However, many people think otherwise.

Let me take example from the problem with Friendster.com. There is a feature called testimonial and I believe it is used to let visitors of that particular profile to find out more about his or her character. However, so many users have been misusing this feature that the purpose of the testimonial has been redundant.

If you have a hundred contacts as friends in your profile and you have a thousand testimonials, is it possible? Are all your friends so free to log into Friendster anymore? Do all your friends know you so well that they are willing to spend time to write you so many testimonials?

To some people, it may seem something grand and can be proud of to have so many testimonials; but believe me, nobody will want to read the testimonials when most of them consist only lines like “I miss you”, “How are you?”, “Write me a testimonial back okay?”, “Last night was fun”, “I love you” etc.

The testimonial feature is definitely not a chat dialog or tool to attract more attention from your friend’s friends. If you have been doing so, it does not reflect well on you to those who are sensible enough; having a large number of testimonials with meaningless tests is definitely not a proud achievement.

However, if many of your friends have written you very lengthy and descriptive ones, it does show how great a friend you are.

Paying respect to Yongming’s grandfather

[Friday, 25 August, 2006]

It was another disappointment when I could not get people down to Yongming’s grandfather’s wake. Out of the class of over ten people, I contacted those who I was closer to but in the end only Wen Chang could make it. The weird thing was that Yongming had only told me about it and he did not even inform Lynn. I betted if he had told the rest personally, they would make more efforts to go.

We met up at around 1815h and poor him had reached there much earlier right after work. I also sacrificed my time with Vivi when I could have accompanied her longer. The worst thing was that I was unable to send her home as I had to rush over to meet up with Ah Chang.

I met Xiao Hua at Lot 1’s door but we did not get to chat for long since Ah Chang soon arrived. Then, Ah Chang and I proceeded on to find Yongming.

I was just ready for the little buffet dinner. There were satays but I supposed they would those heated up in oven ones. Yongming’s friend was there and we sat together in the same table. I could not get used to the three of them speaking in English.

The embarrassing part was when we handed the condolence money to Yongming, since Ah Chang was shortage of four bucks and I had to pay for Lynn and Benson’s first, I had to squeeze out two one-dollar coins to fit the forty bucks. Since I had messaged the rest about the condolence money on the same invitation message and they did not tell me about paying, I took it that they were not interested to pay.

We left as his ritual started after setting up a few tables for him.

My CPU was burning

[Friday, 25 August, 2006]

Suddenly there was a burning smell in front of my computer. I went to the kitchen but it was perfectly alright. When I got back to my computer, the smell got stronger and I started to panic as I heard the sound of my CPU. My first instinct was that the CPU was overheated and I quickly shut it down until my neighbour came out and asked as well.

My mum left the house and came back saying it was the cooking of another neighbour. Meat could be so smelly?

Appeasing my dowager

[Thursday, 24 August, 2006]

I managed to see her for the third time this week. I was quite stunned that she suddenly asked me to send her home after school and so I gave her some prompts in case I would need to bring my book along to study.

I did not know she would be so upset until I met her at Redhill MRT. She refused to open her mouth. I had ways to pressure her to talk and until she told me she might burst out anytime, I left her in peace because she would not want to do it in front of so many people.

Nevertheless, she could not control herself soon and started pouring her problems, about people who did not appreciate, teacher who insulted her and lastly, a ghastly bitch who was always in a world of her own. She sounded very agitated, imitating all the words of impoliteness from the ruffians.

I reserved my silence in order not to rouse her; besides, I could do nothing except to offer a conscious slap on their unworldly faces.

After we alighted from the bus taken at Harbourfront, she stunned me by asking me to comfort her. I was at a loss of speech suddenly but tried to cheer her up instead. Then, I offered her ice-cream and she childishly accepted.

So, we went to the provision shop and she wanted to get the most expensive one as if I had provoked her. She said she would get two instead if she could not find one that was expensive enough. Then, she wanted me to bring her to the place where I studied while waiting to fetch her from her tuition. After finishing the ice-cream, she wanted to get a can of coke and we went back to the shop and she got a can of 100 Plus instead. After that, we crossed the road and she shared with me her favourite snack – Ke Ke; it was a chocolate placed inside a semi-colour shaped soft biscuit. In the end, she wanted to get drink something again and we went to the provision shop nearest her house to get one. I finally succeeded in appeasing my dowager.

She had been behaving very childishly for the past few days or weeks and she knew it so well that every time she would thank me for putting up with her. She looked sweet however when she was throwing tantrum. Hopefully her friends would do it once in a couple of months so that I could have such chance to pamper her; I definitely was not expecting a regular one because I was not rich and I did not want her to become a spoilt brat.

RSS makes reading easier

With the bloom of blogging, I have many friends who start to blog. As there are many links to click each time to view their sites, the work load becomes a hectic, especially when some sites take very long to load or have popup advertisement banners. Moreover, not everyone updates their blog site daily, thus my effort is wasted often.

With the invention of RSS, I am therefore able to know who have updated their blog sites and only then I need to go in so as to find out more about their recent lives; sometimes, I do not even need to go in when I am able to view the whole entry.

To be able to accomplish this, I entrust the use of Bloglines.com to retrieve and gather all the updated links. Thus, I would log in everyday or even hour, and refresh it for new updates from all my friends. Other than Bloglines.com, there are other sites which provide the same service, including the Mozilla Firefox browser, which I have not tried.

There are of course some cons. Firstly, the RSS might not be updated immediately, perhaps, Bloglines.com might be overloaded at that time; it is a free service after all. Secondly, some photos might not be viewed as the blogger’ webhost like for example Blogspot.com has file restriction that the photos can only be loaded from its sites most of the time. Lastly, I am not able to view the latest updates of the tagboards.

The reason for me to stick on with Bloglines.com is that it is the first free service provider I have tried and I do not like to change environment. I could have used the Firefox browser but since it is installed in the computer itself, I will not be able to retrieve the updates when I am not using my own computer; I prefer an online service instead.

However, I am not able to do this for every site because not every of them provide RSS (example Diaryland.com). Whereas, for Blogspot.com users, they have a choice whether to enable or disable the site feed. For most users, the default is set enabled; nonetheless a few of them have it disabled.

Eventually, I have been bugging some of my friends who use Blogspot.com to enable their site feed.

There are just a few simple steps.

1. log into Blogspot
2. go to “Settings>Publishing” and choose “Yes” for the “Notify Weblogs.com and click “save settings”
3. go to “Settings>Publish Site Feed” and choose “Yes” for the “Publish Site Feed” and click “save settings”
4. click the “Republish” button on the “You must Republish your blog to see the changes” prompt

Swim and my meet up with her

[Wednesday, 23 August, 2006]

A denin cap which I paid him back S$8; I had told him earlier on that he had to collect money from me before I get anything from him

This pendant was a gift then

It was my second time swimming with Gilbert alone. We were supposed to meet at Clementi at 1000h but he changed to 1030h and then further delayed it to 1100h. He passed me the gifts he bought for me at Thailand.

I thought he was crazy at first since he had just come back from his overseas holidays, until he proved me it was a relaxing one. I saw a familiar face and when Gilbert prompted, I realised that girl near us was most probably Jiahui. I did not approach her since I did not wear my spectacle and I might not be right. Anyway, that showed how tanned she could be, having suntan all alone probably on her off day.

We stayed inside the training pool of 0.9 metres water depth. In total, we did not swim more than six lanes and none of those we swam was exerting. Gilbert was telling stories about his holiday trip, trying to impress me on the knowledge and experience he had gained. I thought he was right.

In the end, we decided to suntan and I finally got my very extreme sunburnt, which so obvious from the tan line of my swimming trunk. My face was reddish. It was partly Gilbert’s fault for he did not want to leave despite my repeatedly prompts.

We went to the Hawker centre and had a great chicken chop lunch. Then, we went to Bugis Village. It was the first time I went up to the level two, being quite amazed that there were shops up there. Then, we moved on to Parco and soon, crossed the road over at the MosBurger side, went up to the seven level pathetic shops for my first time also. Finally we departed.

Anyway, Gilbert had informed me of the Army Half Marathon run on this coming Sunday and it added on to my burden so much. I was already so frustrated about the crush of Vivi’s class and the PJC volleyball outing. My ex team-mates and I rarely had chance to meet up and this time, so many people were able to make it. This was one of the bad things I had anticipated that I knew I should not commit to anything.

After reaching home, Vivi asked me to meet her up at Tiong Bahru Plaza. Though I had told her I was not tired earlier on, it was a white lie in order to get to see her. So, this evening I was lucky again and we finally met up again in my pinkish skin.

It was a horror sight at first when she sounded so serious on her phone. It was not a good sign to see how much trouble her class had been giving her. We went to buy her contact lens’ lotion and this time I did not have any strength to fight over the bill with her.

We went to the food court and met a few of her schoolmates. Since the place was quite empty, I suggested we get the food first before finding a seat so that we did not need to take turns. She complained to me about her tiredness and since she did not want to eat, we went for a table by the edge of the building. Immediately, she told me to accompany her to get dessert but I could not leave my bag with expensive stuffs inside alone.

When we finally got to sit down together, she told me the great news of her mum allowing her to go to the beach with me this coming Sunday. I was curious about how she talked to her and it seemed like her parents were not very determined to separate us. Perhaps, we ought to call for a celebration. Right in my mind, I understood I should somehow let her parents more aware of how good I was and would be treating their beloved daughter.

I sent her for tuition, found a quiet spot and started mugging again. Perhaps, I had overestimated myself that I could overcome the lack of sleep together with the sunburnt, near-dehydration and long day of walk with Gilbert. Nothing really got into my brain and I started dozing on the stone table. It was all for avoiding the residents’ mockery, I tried to stay awake with my head lying down; an ineffectual effort.

I finally got something into my brain at the last hour, but was too slow a progress. Then, a black idiot came to stir up the pleasant air with his cigarette. He used the stone table next to mine and set up his poor laptop there. I wished him good luck to join my dad soon in my mind and left since Vivi might be ready anytime.

The thought of giving her a surprise outside her tutor’s house scared her instead. I did not expect it and partially had forgotten it was the lunar seventh month. She looked less mature to me nowadays somehow but her sweetness was attracting me more.

However, I was quite worried about her tuition sessions. Somehow every time her tutor could manage to find time to tell her stories and I wondered how efficient the tuition sessions were. Her results would directly impact on our relationship and it jeopardised the impression of me from her parents. Perhaps, it might be the peace before the storm.

Another problem about her tuition sessions, of a great fear was the influence from her tutor. Her extremely religious tutor seemed to be able to control her mind so well that everything was taken into believe. I could not understand how she could foresee the future and our previous lives and one day if she were to tell Vivi that we were cursed not to be together, the world might turn dark eventually.

It would be better to be able to see her till right at her door to ease my mind but I should not hurry things. I was unlucky that none of the four buses came early. The night did not seem friendly when I was alone in my weariness. At least her appreciation assured me that everything was worthwhile.

Receiving Gilberto at the airport

[Tuesday, 22 August, 2006]

Everyone was either working or studying that nobody except Raymond was free to go to the airport with me. It was my idea to receive Gilbert who went for holidays at Thailand on the previous Friday. It would be nice to do that because I felt so good when my BMCC buddies went to receive me the previous time I went overseas.

I was thinking of going there earlier to study but Raymond suggested studying after that. So, we agreed to meet at 1330h since Gilbert’s flight was at 1400h.

It was a disappointment that the Skytrain service was down due to upgrading. The first thing on my mind was how much the temporary attendances were paid. It was also incredible to get so many mini shuttle buses just for these two or three days.

As usual, Raymond aka Buddy aka Gou Gou (Dog in Chinese Hanyu Pinyin) was late. He promised to reach by 1400h which he failed to abide to his promise again. I checked the flight on the screen and then checked with the information counter to realise there was no such flight reaching at 1400h.

I sent Gilbert a message to ask him to call me immediately upon landing and he replied me. I came to understand that he had earlier given me a timing of the departure time of his flight from Thailand when I was expecting the timing the plane would land – any friend would expect to know the latter’s timing and not the departure one.

A sudden feel of loneliness filled me even though I was all prepared to go there alone before Raymond promised to join me. I went to draw money to replenish my near empty wallet and the balance of my bank account dampened my mood once again; I had spent and given away so much more than ever in a month that nearly a month’s slavery allowance was gone.

I went to the Burger King and had a large cup of ice lemon tea, which amazed me for the taste was much better than any that I had drunk before. There was this reoccurrence on my mind that someone had complimented it before, or maybe just the outlet.

I sat there alone to study, indulging myself in a world of deafness among the oncoming customers. At the end of the third hour, Bunny finally arrived and I had sadly beaten by the exhaustion of intensive studying of just less than two chapters of the book. He was worse than me that he dozed off soon after opening his book.

A very distinguished figure taken from very far

Gilberto

Raymond aka Bunny, the always-fly-aeroplane latecomer

We had a little chat as we struggled with our own study. Just after the arrival time of the flight at 1809h, we packed up and waited outside belt 21. At the farthest side, we managed to see the unique Gilberto looking for his luggage. With a little disappointment, Bunny had to leave right after we met up with Gilberto.

After that, Gilberto and his friend, Anna (did not hear her name properly) had dinner with me at the Burger King outlet. Then, I listened to some of their exciting stories at Thailand, knowing how fun they had been. Gilberto’s planning had made the trip so fulfilling and worthwhile.

Followed by dinner, we bid each other goodbye. Both of them went to get a cab whereas I took the shuttle bus back to terminal two to catch the train home.

Pen the dishonourable history

Although I have “half” stepped out of the ghastly place and need not worry about it, the news of my buddies continued being torn is a blow to my carefree life. It is more than a pinch at my heart, physically tearing down my respiratory system somehow.

I must not be too emotional anymore; this good friend of mine has been degrading my health since I started to learn to care, sympathize and grieve. Nobody knows how bad my health has been.

Can I just pour in my emotion, judgement and knowledge to enlighten everyone about how much some assholes have been terrorising the pride, responsibilities and kindness of so many dedicated and promising young pillars of the country?

My brain has been in a terrible mess. When everyone is thinking that I am enjoying myself so much, the fact is a total twist from the appearance plus assumption.

I blame myself for all these stress I have brought to myself. I am either greedy or imaginative that I always think I can do so many things; I want this and I want that. I cannot even prioritise things properly and each project takes forever when I cannot be focused on anything and always cross working.

I have yet to improve my site to a satisfying standard, nor I have appraised my fellow buddies; I am still a beginner to PHP programming, I have not been exercising regularly. I have not found a job or even started looking for one, not even to do a resume. I have not even paid a visit to my auntie grounded with a very sick uncle. I have been indulging myself in the sweetness of love.

So right now, there is another task I have to accomplish, to gather my memory to list down the evil and selfish doings of the assholes. When can I start to pen them down?

Money can buy happiness

[Friday, 18 August, 2006]

I tried to keep the back of my hair down by using wax and realised it was a tragic when I decided to even out the wax. I was more used to wet my hair a little and use the fashion spray to harden it; I was an idiot to styling my hair anyway.

I was late eventually and reluctantly asked her to meet me at Tanjong Pagar instead since she had to pass by my place in order to get to Bugis. I was very worried since her sense of direction was not good.

We went to Bugis Village straight instead of having lunch and I listened fearfully to what she had to buy. She seemed so satisfied with a pair of high heel shoes after touring rounds and rounds that I did not ask for discount, which was a terribly wrong move. As usual, I won her over footing the bill.

So, once again I just told her a day ago I would not splurge on her anymore and yet I was doing it. It had little to do with man’s ego but the fact that if she were to use her own money she would definitely skip her meals until the next month.

My dear “sister” Hoay Min reminded me before that what I had been doing were commitments and not sacrifices, and thus, I thought it was part of my responsibility to take care of her welfare. Which guy would not give in more to his sweet girl?

We crossed over the road to Parco and she got changed before we had our second neoprint shot. She managed to win over me to pay for it this time by threatening me to stay inside the machine. This time, she clicked the wrong choice and the neoprints came out so small. Then we had our third round immediately, which result was not as satisfying.

After that, we went to shop for her necklace before she decided we should buy some sushi for lunch. I was already famished, too weak to walk, but I betted she still could walk for hours without feeling the fatigue. So, I came to a conclusion that I should take my meal before going out with her.

At the same time, money issue came to my mind again. Even though I had been spending far more than usual this few months, the problem was that I was not earning any money; if I could just get a job with high pay, then paying for stuffs would never be a problem anymore. The stress almost overwhelmed me entirely.

After getting the sushi at Cold Storage, we found empty seats at the food court and finished half of them before we moved on. If it was not for me she would have taken the food on the train instead. The journey to her house was romantic with some teasing and flirting around. It was fantastic.

We went straight to the hair saloon at her neighbourhood area. She wanted to style her hair for the dinner at night but I thought it was not worth it to spend so much. Luckily, the aunties there advised her to just tie her hair up. It was a big relief after I looked into my wallet. She was also sensible enough to be thrifty.

I finally got to drench my thirst and then sent her back home. She introduced me to her friend, Wen Chong, at the playground.

It was another good news that I could see her to her dinner place but at the expense of waiting for her for not more than forty-five minutes she promised. I went back to find Wen Chong while waiting but he left soon. She took more than one and a half hour to come down.

We took bus to Outram MRT and then transited to train towards Raffles Place to meet her friends. None of them looked impressive to me except one girl with her hair nicely styled. I bet she was full of envious.

I lent her my handphone for she wanted to take photos of her pretty friends at the dinner to share with me. After which, she told me to leave. Though I was quite disappointed that I waited for so long just to see her for a while and not even to the exact location, I was satisfied enough to spend longer time with her.

The day marked the third time in a week I waited downstairs her house for her and also the third time I got to see her that particular week. The effort she took to keep me accompanied had deeply touched me that I could not expect for more.

However, in return for the sweetness of my queen, I was pressured. It seemed so obvious that if I was wealthy, I could easily please her more though she did not ask for it.

Should I still keep the old numbers?

[Friday, 18 August, 2006]

My ex BMT-mate, Jacky, messaged me in MSN suddenly. He thought of getting a few of my ex section-mates to meet to chill up one day.

Just as we were talking about jobs, he said he had many “lobangs” and I was quite curious and actually a bit desperate to earn money to feed the many mouths. As he asked for my latest number to meet out the next day, I realised his number in my address book was different from the one he gave me.

He said he could not message everyone that he had changed number since there were too many of them. I began to doubt the availability of the other numbers inside my address book.

There are too many people I do not contact with but still keeping their numbers. I do not know if they are still using the same numbers and worst still, if they can remember my existence.

It has been bothering me over the past few days whether I should delete some of the old contacts as my SIM card’s storage space is far too little for keeping all of them.