The sun had been so strong and the clouds played evil. Sky was so clear and each beam of light seemed like a stroke of the brush, painting my skin red.

I like the colour, but not the pain, especially on my face. Maybe I should like the pain as well, then I’ll be a sadist; someone who would eventually enjoy his life a lot with all the bruises, cut, swollen – inside heart.

I’m so crazy; I feel like melting. In a few more hours’ time, I’ve to smile fakery in front of the actors again. All the shit will come back and all the ugliness will be seen.

I’m feeling so sick. 24 hours ago my throat hurt even without swallowing any food or saliva. Now that I’m having a running nose, I feel so frustrated. Yet, I can’t go to the doctor because I don’t want my back to bleed again.